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Thread started 12/29/05 12:05pm

PurpleKnight

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So, how many of you got another pet when one died?

I had a cat for ten years that I loved like a daughter, and she died about 14 months ago. I even had to say goodbye to her at the Vet's before they put her down. Very, very traumatic time for me.

I really do love cats, and would love a kitten, but I can't get over the fact that these animals can't possibly live as long as me under the best of circumstances. I'm only 20; the fact that if I get a cat, I'll have to watch it die kind of haunts me. Hell, sometimes I still have recurring nightmares of seeing my cat on the verge of dying all over again, like I have to go through it again.

So how do any of you deal with the idea of getting another pet after losing one you had for years?
The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

"You still wanna take me to prison...just because I won't trade humanity for patriotism."
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Reply #1 posted 12/29/05 12:09pm

rachel3

It is easy for me to replace a pet, since it gives me joy knowing I will provide a good loving home for it, esp. if I take it out of a kill shelter or an abusive situation.

With my birds I just breed new babies it is always fun to watch them hatch and grow up!!!! I have memories of ALL MY PETS!!!!

They are special!!!!
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Reply #2 posted 12/29/05 12:16pm

lostinthewoods
40

i had to put my GSD (german shep) down very early on Easter morning ....

She was my first dog - and 13 yrs old ... she was a great dog --- but i used to always "brag" about how when "hell- if its time --- i wont have any problem puttin her down since she is JUST a dog " ....

but i do admit ... it was tough ... more so ... cus she was in such good spirits 24 hrs before that time ..... and ... well ... you do think "geez was there anything else i coulda done .... etc " ....

I have NOT gotten another pet ... altho i have broached the subject alittle bit in jest with my significant other ... wink I believe that having a pet is such a huge and serious endevour .... i would NOT wanna get one without thinking it through and talking it through .... you have to train it .... and the kids have to respect it ... etc .... (and it is alot to deal with - cleaning up the throw up or poop ... etc ) confused
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Reply #3 posted 12/29/05 12:17pm

virginie74

I had my first dog three years ago. I love him, but I don't plan to get another pet after him. Too much dirt, even if it's great to receive all the love and presence he shows.
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Reply #4 posted 12/29/05 12:21pm

PurpleKnight

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I always tell myself I'm gonna get a pet, and then I stop when I remember my cat's last two weeks before she died. Trouble eating solid foods ('cause had an inoperable tumour), trouble going to the bathroom, and the worst was when she started breathing through her mouth the last couple days. It's the most painful thing I've ever gone through. That cat was like my best friend.
The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

"You still wanna take me to prison...just because I won't trade humanity for patriotism."
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Reply #5 posted 12/29/05 12:22pm

Shorty

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it's hard. My GSD was hit and killed by a car last june (as you all know) it was sooooo traumatic for my husband and I! Still miss him terribly. We got another dog in august...a beagle...and ahhh....maybe we should have waited or gotten another GSD cause..damn this dog is dumb! I wish we hadn't got him. neutral
but we did...and we'll be good to him, and keep him...but I think waiting a while is a good thing.
Cats...I love...but I've become accustom to losing them...so I don't get so attached anymore. I live in the sticks so many times...my cats go out..and never come back sad
good luck hug
"not a fan" falloff yeah...ok
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Reply #6 posted 12/29/05 12:28pm

Anxiety

the last time i had a pet of my own was when i had a cat in college, and i loved her to pieces. after i lost her, i wasn't able to get another pet, either because i couldn't bear to replace my kitty or because i was living in new york and moving around a lot from apartment to apartment and i didn't want to subject a pet to that. now that it's been a while and i've been living in the same apartment for almost five years now, i think maybe it could be time for another cat...though i'm in a weird situation now, where the lease says "no pets" yet every single damn person in my building has AT LEAST one pet except for me. i've asked my landlord what's up with that several times over the years, and he just pretends he doesn't understand me. i think i could get a pet cat, but i couldn't get one from a shelter with the 'no pets' clause on my lease. mad
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Reply #7 posted 12/29/05 12:34pm

purpleizpassio
n

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yes we have. Knowing that I was giving it a good home helped me deal. My ex bf had a cat for 12 years. she was his only comfort when his parents split. He even went all the way back to Ohio to get her from his mom's house when he was living here with me. He knew she was getting pretty bad off and really dreaded the day of having to put her down. She was having problems eating among other things. I was heartbroken for him when he told me she was gone. Although we were broken up, I kinda missed her. I remember how she kinda put her nose up at me and left the room when he first introduced me as his other pussy.
Shake....shake, shake, shake.
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Reply #8 posted 12/29/05 1:45pm

Reincarnate

I had two dogs and had to put one down 2 years ago. I still have my other dog, who I've had for nearly 17 years. I don't think I'll have her for long now, maybe a few months.

I don't think I'll get another pet for a few years when Jess goes. I know it has taken me a long time to get over losing Charlie, and I'll need to take time out before I can even think about getting another one when they've both gone.

Besides, I do love animals but there are a lot of long trips I want to do that I haven't been able to because of the dogs. I will give myself a few years before thinking about getting another pet.
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Reply #9 posted 12/29/05 1:52pm

CarrieMpls

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My cat that I'd had since I was 11 died last April (I'm 30 now). cry It was honestly one of the hardest things I had to go through. I held her when they put her down. She grew up with me, lived with me everywhere I lived with me everywhere, etc.
I knew I'd get another kitty someday, but it took me longer than I expected to be ready. All of my friends were sorta pushing me into getting a new cat. One friend even said she worried about me living alone without a kitty which I found adorable and strange at the same time. lol. So I hadn't even been thinking about getting one seriously in October when a friend emailed me pictures of kittens that needed a home. From the first picture I saw of her, I just knew she was my kitty. Within 2 days I had her in my home. If I hadn't stumbled across that picture, I probably wouldn't have a kitty yet. I'm still quite sad, to be honest, about my old kitty. But it doesn't mean I can't love this new one.
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Reply #10 posted 12/29/05 3:32pm

AnckSuNamun

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I did.....after my first rabbit died. We ended up getting two lol They were supposed to be two females, but turns out one was a female and the other a male. Well, they ended up an assload of babies which completely caught us offgaurd. The cage was way too small so, we had to give them back to the man where we got them from sad We've always had cats, because the mother cat was always having kittens. I think people who have hamsters as pets are always getting replacments, since their life expectancy isn't that long. I've been through three hamsters.
rose looking for you in the woods tonight rose Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke)
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Reply #11 posted 12/29/05 3:35pm

AnckSuNamun

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CarrieMpls said:

My cat that I'd had since I was 11 died last April (I'm 30 now). cry


omg that's a long time. One of my cats lived for ten years. I became so attached because even ten years is a long time, but there were always other cats around at the time, so it didn't have as much of an effect on me then as it does now.
rose looking for you in the woods tonight rose Switch FC SW-2874-2863-4789 (Rum&Coke)
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Reply #12 posted 12/29/05 4:17pm

superspaceboy

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My kitties are getting old and the thought has occurred to me. I think they are getting up there. They are about 12 or so. I want a kitten after one dies as I have never had a "mew mew". My partner has said no as they destory everything delicate and are mishievious. This is not a debate though. I am pretty adamant on this one.

Cats give me so much joy and company...I will probably always have one.

Christian Zombie Vampires

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Reply #13 posted 12/29/05 4:34pm

Isel

First and foremost, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. sad

It's a weird coincidence that you posted this topic. I just had to put-down my oldest dog over the Thanksgiving weekend. To make a long story short, he developed sudden symptoms and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He was 14, blind due to retinal atrophy, had a minor heart murmur, but otherwise was a fierce little Yorkie. I WAS JUST SHOCKED AND REALLY DEVASTATED. In fact, my husband just had to take our youngest dog to the vet for her shots coz I just couldn't bear to go. I talked to our vet over the phone coz believe it or not, our YOUNGEST dog was just diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I talked to him about our Yorkie, too, coz he was out-of-town when it happened. It's a long story... I started crying AGAIN.. and he was really sad, too, coz he had treated him for nearly a decade. Of course, he and his staff sent a sweet card for both of the dogs who passed.. I really appreciated that. I gotta say that I'm so much more often IMPRESSED with people's compassion than I am disappointed. Unfortunately, we read so much negative, but on a day to day basis, people--many times total strangers-- can be so thoughtful and kind.

In keeping with that Prince.org helped me quite a bit last year when my second oldest dog died after a long struggle with congestive heart failure. He was 12 and had a pretty good quality of life until the night he died. I was so upset that I posted here and so many of you left supportive messages. I was a new member... I really appreciated it. I printed them out and put them in a little scrapbook that I have. I can't tell ya how much the words of complete strangers made me feel so much better.

Anyway, back on topic... We have two dogs and two cats left. I'm not sure about whether or not we are going to adopt more animals mainly because we would like to travel a bit and not worry about boarding them or taking them with us. But I wouldn't hesitate outside of that concern to adopt another even though the loss was very painful. Truthfully, our animals bring so much joy to our lives. That's what I think about more often than not... even with my little Yorkie whose loss is still so recent. I think that I was happy to have had the opportunity to take care of him. And even though losing them... I still cry... I still cry about my other dog, too...I also think about how much fun that they were. I'm VERY fortunate coz neither one suffered very long. Anyway, I used to "fear" losing them and still sort of do. But then again, they are great companions. So I'm just gonna enjoy my remaining pets while they are here and make their lives great. I tell ya what, pets really do make a person live in the moment... I wouldn't hesitate to go through EVERYTHING again. We had a lot of fun, and they'll always have a special place in my heart.
[Edited 12/29/05 17:21pm]
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Reply #14 posted 12/29/05 4:48pm

Reincarnate

Isel said:

So I'm just gonna enjoy my remaining pets while they are here and make their lives great. I tell ya what, pets really do make a person live in the moment... I wouldn't hesitate to go through EVERYTHING again. We had a lot of fun, and they'll always have a special place in my heart.

comfort It's so hard, losing a treasured one ... and I so agree with what you've written here.
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Reply #15 posted 12/29/05 5:37pm

bluesbaby

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We lost our dog a year after we moved about 7 years ago. We adored that dog! In fact, we had him cremated, and put the ashes at my moms. Our next dog we bought a year later, and he was a freakazoid. But he found a new home, so we were going to wait, and did for another year.....now our pup--we found at a shelter.....is fantastic, and a real joy! I would always have another pet, because they are such gifts.


mushy
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Reply #16 posted 12/29/05 5:51pm

shellyevon

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I've had pets of all kinds all my life and I can't imagine living without at least one animal friend around. They add so much to your life,of course it's painful when they die. I think we can't "replace" anybody, but their personalities are all so different that a new pet soon makes its own place in our hearts.The little guys give back so much more than we give them.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss

Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison
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Reply #17 posted 12/29/05 6:36pm

ThreadBare

An animal expert on NPR about 2 years ago recommended that pet owners quickly replace deceased pets, in order to move on. It shocked me, the interviewer and, likely, other listeners. "What about the grieving process?" the interviewer asked.

He understood, he responded. He had found himself in the same situation. And, he quickly replaced his late dog with another. He said there needs to be an understanding about our pets, that they are still animals. We love them, they touch our lives in many ways, he conceded, but they are still animals.

That said, I have yet to get a dog to replace the one I had to put down spring 2004. Mostly because I don't have the time for another dog.
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Reply #18 posted 12/29/05 8:30pm

PurpleKnight

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I disagree that you should just move on as quickly as possible and get a new pet. I'd say that's awful advice.

I rescued this stray kitten a few months ago, and I tried keeping him, but I was getting constant nightmares about seeing my dead cat brought back to life with the same symptoms she had before being put down. I had to give the cat away, and I did, to a loving home.

Now the thought of getting another cat both excites and terrifies me to no end. It's like two people inside me at war every minute of the day. There's the person saying "Get a new cat! We love cats, let's love fearlessly!" and the other side of me thinking "It'll die and break our heart, don't do it."
The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

"You still wanna take me to prison...just because I won't trade humanity for patriotism."
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Reply #19 posted 12/29/05 8:37pm

ThreadBare

PurpleKnight said:

I disagree that you should just move on as quickly as possible and get a new pet. I'd say that's awful advice.



Yeah, I'm not totally swayed by his advice, either. But, I do think we sometimes cling too long out of loyalty, beyond a reasonable period of mourning.
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Reply #20 posted 12/29/05 9:11pm

shayblackfeath
er

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PurpleKnight said:

I had a cat for ten years that I loved like a daughter, and she died about 14 months ago. I even had to say goodbye to her at the Vet's before they put her down. Very, very traumatic time for me.

I really do love cats, and would love a kitten, but I can't get over the fact that these animals can't possibly live as long as me under the best of circumstances. I'm only 20; the fact that if I get a cat, I'll have to watch it die kind of haunts me. Hell, sometimes I still have recurring nightmares of seeing my cat on the verge of dying all over again, like I have to go through it again.

So how do any of you deal with the idea of getting another pet after losing one you had for years?

It is hard to have to let go of ones that you love....but on the other hand
I look at getting a new little one as caring and loving for another little thing
that needs love....and loving is never wrong....hard to deal with...but
never wrong!
[Edited 12/29/05 21:12pm]
[Edited 12/29/05 21:13pm]
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Reply #21 posted 12/29/05 9:12pm

bluesbaby

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I agree you should wait a while, but consider this when you think "oh, it will die, that will hurt too much".

You go out and make friends, or you have friends, chances are there is at least one person you are emotionally invested in. We could all die at any time, does that stop you from getting to know someone? Has that stopped you from getting close to someone, even on the org? Death is just as much a part of life, and to be able to live fully, in relation with others, be they human, animal, is giving something to both of you. I would much rather die knowing that I loved as much as I could, then die and have folks not have known the real me to some depth. In the same respect, I would rather have a pet for five years, such as our first dog, and have known love as well as loved, then to never have cared about anything or anyone out of fear of losing them. I married my husband, whom I love deeply, yet I know that life gives no guarantees. He's my heart, and if my heart is broken through the loss of death, at least I will have known what a great love is. And I hope he would also mushy
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Reply #22 posted 12/29/05 9:54pm

2teh9s

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bluesbaby said:

I agree you should wait a while, but consider this when you think "oh, it will die, that will hurt too much".

You go out and make friends, or you have friends, chances are there is at least one person you are emotionally invested in. We could all die at any time, does that stop you from getting to know someone? Has that stopped you from getting close to someone, even on the org? Death is just as much a part of life, and to be able to live fully, in relation with others, be they human, animal, is giving something to both of you. I would much rather die knowing that I loved as much as I could, then die and have folks not have known the real me to some depth. In the same respect, I would rather have a pet for five years, such as our first dog, and have known love as well as loved, then to never have cared about anything or anyone out of fear of losing them. I married my husband, whom I love deeply, yet I know that life gives no guarantees. He's my heart, and if my heart is broken through the loss of death, at least I will have known what a great love is. And I hope he would also mushy


eek
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Reply #23 posted 12/29/05 10:04pm

bluesbaby

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2teh9s said:

bluesbaby said:

I agree you should wait a while, but consider this when you think "oh, it will die, that will hurt too much".

You go out and make friends, or you have friends, chances are there is at least one person you are emotionally invested in. We could all die at any time, does that stop you from getting to know someone? Has that stopped you from getting close to someone, even on the org? Death is just as much a part of life, and to be able to live fully, in relation with others, be they human, animal, is giving something to both of you. I would much rather die knowing that I loved as much as I could, then die and have folks not have known the real me to some depth. In the same respect, I would rather have a pet for five years, such as our first dog, and have known love as well as loved, then to never have cared about anything or anyone out of fear of losing them. I married my husband, whom I love deeply, yet I know that life gives no guarantees. He's my heart, and if my heart is broken through the loss of death, at least I will have known what a great love is. And I hope he would also mushy


eek


I know, my seriousness scares you lol
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