Moreover, these stereotypes are confimed 1000-fold in the media. Just look at most leading men and women in movies and popular stars in music.

Moonbeam said:

Good point! His argument could just as easily apply to many men.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Onewouldthink!

Ace said:

The whole "I want someone who is cocky and arrogant but malleable and sweet to me" and "I want a slut in the bedroom but a lady everywhere else" thing is far too prevalent.

Moonbeam said:

True, but there is also no shortage of messages in Hollywood films (for example) that, ultimately, your best choice is the "nice" person. Why would people ignore these messages?

Ace said:

Because there are also messages EVERYWHERE out there saying that you need the "hot" one...the one with the money...the skinny one...the one who has had the plastic surgery...the one with the stylish clothes...if you do not possess these things and are just an average joe (or joesphine ) with a heart of gold...well...that heart doesn't carry as much weight these days...unless you have huge silicone tits and an anorexic body...or a big wallet.
[Edited 12/12/05 11:16am]

Reply to 'Are straight women killing the planet?'

I think people fall in love through destiny.

You can't blame straight Women for what Men do.

Actually it would be much worse if Women did not rule the world.

They keep a lot of stuff from going down. Love is a strong emotion.

applekisses said:

But why do people ignore the messages of what is some very popular art in favour of these messages? Do you really think it's just a matter of tonnage? And, when it comes to movies in particular, does not the message that the "nice" one is the smart choice hugely outweigh anything else?

july said:

A romantic notion, but it takes logic out of the equation and excuses a lot of really bad judgement.


I think you're misunderstanding the question.


Some argue that a lot of the bad shit that goes down in the world is the result of men trying to out alpha-male each other to win the approval of women.

Love is a strong emotion, but is it not sometimes confused with lust?

Ace said:

It's because the other message is everywhere...not just in movies. It's on our TV...on the radio...in billboards...in print...it's used to sell all sorts of products and services...clothing, cars, diet pills, plastic surgery, gym memberships, jewelery...etc, etc, etc.
Being "nice" doesn't sell anything so we don't see those messages as frequently.

applekisses said:

I would argue that the "other" message is prevalent on TV and in popular music, as well. And just the fact that movies are so hugely popular on their own and that that message is reinforced time and time again there...where is the disconnect happening?

It's not destiny. It's bad taste.

There is such a thing as being too nice. Women say this about nice guys all the time. Women want guys who have attitude,cockiness, the bad boy attitude. The women who sit and want men to make all the moves want this. It's the Soap Opera/Romance Novel mindset that a lot of women have.

You rarely see men sidestep women because the women are too nice. When men do ignore women it has more to do with their looks than anything. Judging by the photos it's good to see Abierman is not like that.

Ace said:

Yes, romantic. Love will save us all. I believe.

Spats said:

hehehe.....Spats, I took them both home.....bet that never happened to you, right? I know for sure, you'd never go down twice in on night!

Spats said:

Have you ever heard of these people called "Brad Pitt", "Jennifer Aniston" and "Angelina Jolie"?

It happens all the time.

Ace said:

You really need to pay attention to the subtext. I think it's more engrained than you realize. For example, in any TV add, for any product, or TV sitcom that features a married couple...you'll see an average-looking (balding, overweight), middle-aged man with a younger, more attractive, thinner woman. There is no realistic match-up. In contrast, woman who are middle-aged and average looking are usually presented as single and deparate.

july said:

Love will save us all if it is genuinely love and a love invested with reason.

Yeah, but we don't know why Brad left Aniston for Jolie.

Abierman, i believe that would go home with two average looking women. Takes no talent to do that. Especially if they are drunk. I am not into drunk women or average looking women. You can have them.

applekisses said:

There is no doubt that we are told time and time again that we want a physically attractive partner. But, what my buddy is arguing is that oftentimes this is not even a factor; it's more about a personality-type than what they look like.

Spats said:

Thanx Spats!!! !

applekisses said:

Yup.

And often (though not always), the bad guys are uglier than the good guys in any movie.

Spats said:

We all know exactly why doofus left Aniston for Jolie. It begins with "Hotter" and ends with "pussy" (not that I'm arguing that Angelina is hotter than Jennifer - my feelings about A.J. are well-known here).

And, again, Archie passes-over Betty for Veronica all the time.

Ace said:

Maybe for women looking for men...but, it's definitely not the other way around. Any man will go after the "hot chick" first no matter if she's a nice person or not.
I was actually chastized by a guy for being a "good girl".

Spats said:

*coughcoughboolshitcoughcough*

...anyways, about this topic: i do notice that straight chix sometimes go for the "bad boy"-types. why in the world they don't get a clue that there's a price to be paid for hooking up with said type of guy, i have no idea. society and the media do have a HUGE role in this. and there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a relationship with someone that others regard as "too nice"...i'd much rather hook up with a woman who's "too nice" than "too mean" or "too bitchy" or anything like that.

abierman said:

I am not crying about anything. I have been with better looking women than you have if those photos are to be judged. How do we know that you even know them? I can picture you as the aging Lothario cruising bars while drunk and getting your photo taken with drunk women.

applekisses said:

Not any man, but I will agree you are correct about most men. But, again, is this strictly about looks or is personality-type also a factor?

But getting back to the subject of this thread: why do so many women seem to fall for this kind of personality type?

Spats said:

same here....'cept you're not abierman. you're spats.

Yeah, i haven't seen any women answer the question yet.lol

I think the person has to be nice as well. But also good looking. I want good looking and nice. Not ugly and nice and not Hot and Mean. I want nice and hot.

I don't understand anyone who wants the bad boy or the bitch.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

So, what are your feelings about why one message prevails over the other? And, yes, what is society's role in all of this?