I sometimes wonder what would happen if I'd get into a time machine and travel back to the stone age without bringing any equipment whatsoever. What could I, a relatively experienced member of an advanced society, teach the cave dwellers?

To be perfectly honest, I don't even know if I could make a fire. At least not with ease. I'd probably grind the palms of my hands to bits before I could generate enough heat from a twig to make dry moss burn. Flintstone? I've tried it, it didn't work for me. The cave people would probably have to teach me how to do it instead.

I guess I could invent the wheel for them, but I would find it very hard to put together a cart or carriage that could make use of it. It would all be very primitive.

What else? I could teach them how to read and count. Well, that's terribly useful in the stone age.

I don't doubt my ability to stay alive, but to actually contribute something worthwhile to them? I'm not so sure.

What could you teach them?

retina said:

They probably already know how to count. Teaching them about '0' might be useful, though.

dirty limericks!

we would make some paint and paint self-portraits.

LleeLlee said:

No still life?

LleeLlee said:

How would you make the paint? Squash berries? Bleed? I'm sure there's a good way, but I don't know it.

CarrieMpls said:

That too!

How about electricity?

Ever imagine what the world would be like if we had electricity sooner?

littlemissG said:

Sure, but how the hell would you go about introducing it?

Remember that you're just standing there, in the middle of the wilderness with no other equipment than your own two hands.

.

retina said:

squash anything with high pigment I guess, it would be trial and error. I'm not sure!

I'm pretty sure they would be like, whats the point of this.

littlemissG said:

well, if retina brings his comb to the stone age he could comb a cat and amaze them with some static anyway. He could also bring a balloon and some confetti

I'd play ball gamez with em

How to use www.geiko.com?

we would make a television set from rocks, set it up on a big rock and spend hours just staring at it.

LleeLlee said:

You would hog the rock/remote. I know it.

LleeLlee said:

If you have a blister pack of aspirin with you you can pretend that's the remote

2the9s said:

2the9s said:

Of course

we would make popcorn from stones and pretend to eat it.

Okay, so far we have jersey trying to convey dirty limericks with body language, Lleena squashing berries, LittlemissG and TMPletz running around trying to find a wall socket, and Lilmissmissy tossing around an apple or something. Charlottegelin is just sitting there, still not able to accept that she couldn't bring anything. Good work Org!

At least it's better than me. I'd probably see if I could find some hot cave women.

charlottegelin said:

yes! and we could laugh at the t.v and shout at it.

LleeLlee said:

Wouldn't the popcorn get all soggy outside?

LleeLlee said:

Just don't kick it if you're bored with the show.

retina said:

I'm not even going, so there animal skin bikinis just don't suit me.
good luck finding a cave lady with less body hair than yourself

charlottegelin said:

Oh Imaaaaagoooo!!??? Your photshop skills are required here!

retina said:

This is actually the most interesting thread started by an orger in weeks!

2the9s said:

yes, but I know they would love soggy popcorn.

retina said:

we would just turn it off.

retina said:

well i seriously doubt my ability to stay alive! i am pretty sure it would be them teaching me how to find food and shelter

and i'm not very confident in my ability to pick up caveman-ese either
[Edited 11/1/05 18:04pm]

retina said:

this should be good

Imago777 said:

That's not saying much, but thanks! Really.

I have to go to bed now, but when I get back I expect you all to have created a nice civilization for the poor stone age people. Having introduced new masturbation techniques won't be enough, so don't even think about it.