My fiance left today for 3 months to go into rehab for painkillers. He's had so many drug problems in the past, and I thought he'd gotten over them. We've been living together since last January, and after a few months, he started taking Percocets "once in a while" to "balance him out". I hated it and was constantly nagging and worrying about him getting out of control again, but he promised me he wouldn't go back to how he was before, and told me it wasn't a habit. Even though I'm young, I'm not naive, and I didn't just blindly accept what he kept saying to me. Next thing I know, a few months later, he's taking them more and more frequently, but still denying it's a problem.

Last week seemed to be a turning point. After being fucked up more in that week than he was sober, instead of making petty threats that I'd leave him and not following through with them, I just broke down. I was just so worn out from all of this mess that I got sick and just couldn't fight him anymore. I had two panic attacks within 4 days; I felt like I was having a heart attack and even went down to the ER (I work as a secretary in a hospital). We stopped talking and lived together like we were just roommates.

When he came home from work on Wednesday night, he came up to me for the first time in days and asked if we could sit down and have a talk. I almost refused because I thought he was strung out because his eyes were read, but then I looked at him and could see that he wasn't and he'd been crying. He started off by saying "You know how much I love you, right?", and I thought for sure this was a breakup. Then he went on to finally admitting he has a drug addiction and he broke the news that he put himself in a 90 day treatment program, and will be leaving the day after tomorrow. He told me he was scared of losing me because he finally woke up and saw that I was really on the verge of walking out this time. He said he was thinking about it for about a week, but preferred just to tell me after he made the decision so I wouldn't get upset and emotional and make him feel bad leaving me.

I dropped him off this morning, and then I cried and cried. This is all just such a shock that things happened this way. I'm trying so hard not to be selfish because I'll miss him so much and I tried not to cry in front of him yesterday and this morning because I know I have to be strong for him so he can do what he has to do, for himself and for us, but it's so hard and we've only been apart for about 7 hours. I have knots in my stomach, and I haven't been able to eat all day, I love him so much.

I know this is the best thing that could happen, but right now I have so many extreme emotions welled up in me, and I feel like I have no one to share it with because I feel like no one can understand, even though I know that's not true. I feel so lonely that I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep tonight without him, as cliched as that sounds, let alone what I'll do for the next 3 months.

I know this sounds so selfish because I should be happy for him that he finally wants to get help, and I really am, but I just miss my baby.

I just had to get that off of my chest! Phew! Have any of you guys been through a similar situation? I'd really appreciate some feedback. Thanks, guys.

Velv...

It's brave of you to share honestly what you're going through. Take heart in the fact that your partner cared enough about himself to get clean. This can only be a benefit to you both. My wishes and thoughts are with you as you both start the next part of your journey.

The fact that he has done this thing for the both of you speaks volumes about how he feels about you.
It may be a tough road but together you can do it.
for you both and my best wishes

One of my exes was a pothead for 20 years before he met me, but after finding out what I went through as a child as far as drinking and smoking parents and how bad it made me feel being around people who use/abuse, he quit. I was so very proud of him for that, and I really appreciated my being the reason. Once he had quit he felt so much better naturally, I believe I really helped him by telling how I saw things.
You are doing the right thing, but of course you'll miss him! Just let him know you ARE missing him but also that you'll walk out if he checks out early. Be strong girl, you and he can do this.

It's always a good sign that people care enough to notice they need help. Good luck to both of you!

Just the fact he has accepted his drug problem and got help say sooo much.
It may hurt right now, but the future will be so much brighter. Hold on, be strong. Treatment is priceless.....

, ,

Hang in there kiddo...the first step is admitting the problem, and that is usually the toughest.

Good luck to you both.

have Faith my dear it can work out.

4 years sober from crystal meth here.

just don't go get him til it's time. don't rescue him. let him do it for himself. it'll be the best thign for him .


good luck and it's going be a rough ride but it's worth it in the end!

that's got to be a difficult situation you're going through, VelvetR..


it seems like you're going to stick it out with him as best you can. that's fine, but it's a good idea for you to remember that this is his obstacle to get over, & it makes sense for you to support him as long as he's working his way back to a positive place - for himself & for you both.


if you both can make it through this,
you can probably make it through anything.

Thanks, everyone. Just reading all of your positive comments made me feel so much better. I wasn't getting too much sympathy and support from some of my "close" friends! Again, thank you guys so much, I really appreciate it.

mltijchr said:

Thank you so much for what you said. Me and Chris said the same thing to each other before he left, "If we can make it through this, we can make it through anything." It made me smile to hear you say that.

Thanks again! I needed a little support and sympathy today!

Love,
Cara

actually, this is a really wonderful thing...

i know it doesnt seem like it today, it wont seem that way tomorrow..... perhaps not even a week from now....


in the long run though, and in the large picture... hes going to go get himself cleaned up for him AND for you that means, he appreciates your relationship enough to get himself together !

so, in the long run, you get a man that loves you greatly, who took care of his issues to make sure the relationship would work its wonderful if you ask me

90 days ... that seems like a really long time i know.....



however, a lifetime is sooooo much longer !!!


give him the support he needs right now, let him know youre there for him.... in the end, you'll have all the love you need


congrats !

That's wonderful news. God bless y'all.

Just logged in to my alter ego and saw this thread.....has there been any news????
Sorry if i missed it

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