well, as you know, i came back from my shows in michigan night before last... i had about 785 dollars in my purse... i was unpacking and doing laundry and what not..... long story short, the kids had some friends over to visit with, and one of the kids (a 10 year old little girl) stole 750 dollars out of my purse to give to her mom "because she has bills to pay".

i found out this morning, and called the police, the second time, i called them back here because i had found out who did it, when they got here, the mother came over and handed me 300 dollars, i said, wheres the rest of it ??? she said she would pay me back.

the amount of money she confessed to having is nowhere near the 750 her daughter took from me, and when asked why.... she told us, but not the cops, that her mother told her to do it


if i press charges, the mother faces losing her kids.

if i dont ... they win and the child learns that stealing is the answer.

understand that this is one of my daughters best friends, and she is here most every day.... oh, and the mother ??? shes the one that was smoking dope down there with the kids a few months ago.




so, now what do i do ????

sorry, its been a horribly emotional day around here, i hope that makes sense.

first off........and yeah .this sux...you worked hard...I know ya did.....BUT

Can ya talk to the lil gals Mom about it to see if u can get it returned...the Mom should be the one to return it.




oh wait...I see ..the MOM told her to do it....

this is awful NPP...awful...

lemme think

nakedpianoplayer said:

Oh hon... I remember your story of the mother smoking in front of the kids...


[Edited 10/24/05 18:33pm]

nakedpianoplayer said:

Do you think that
a: This person even deserves to hold the title of "Mother"
b: The kids benefit from having her as their parent

Sounds like unfortunately you'll have to press charges. That would be no worse than perpetuating her behaviour/attitude.

co-sign to the last two posts.

OMG!!! That is terrible!

nakedpianoplayer said:

Don't allow that child back in your home....

Can't be a friend to your daughter if she's a thief.....

Fauxie said:

I agree.

funkpill said:

I agree and at 10 yrs old she should know better. There's no excuse.If she's willing to steal...she should have been willing to lie to ther mother and say she couldn't find any money.

ThreadCula said:

this is an interesting way to look at it




thanks guys, my other neighbor just left here, sooooo much has happened today, and i just cannot get over how fucking ugly this behavior is by the mother. i am sick to my stomach over what she has done to her child... had her out there cussing and carrying on in front of the police, it was just SICK !!!!! i was very calm all day, i surprised myself at my ability to stay focused on the job of finding my money. but, now, i have realized that this is MUCH larger than money money comes and goes.... sometimes you have it, other times you dont. sure, i need the money, but money is not what defines us as human beings. its about the way you carry yourself, what you do for others, and how you help those around you that makes you who you are.

do i wish i still had the money ???? sure i do. i have bills that are already out on checks that will be comming to the bank and costing me more than i have already out there owed. but, again, this is about this child.

that is where my focus is now. i have spent half of this day with police in and out of my home.... i have talked with enough of them to know that if/when i say i want to press charges (and, at this point, because she brought the money back and lied to the police the first time they were here) it very well could be out of my hands.... they may decide tomorrow morning to arrest her anyway. that would mean that her kids would be shipped to somewhere else.

i am beside myself about this whole thing....

as a mother, it is my worst nightmare that someone would take my babies from me.
but, also, as a mother i would NEVER put my baby in that position....

i have learned that she is willing to pay for a birthday party for another boy here in the neighborhood and her son, who recently celebrated and since she was unable to give them gifts, she wants to .... and im quoting.... buy them anything they want, of course using my money.

shes also had dinner delivered to their house today, my children and i had leftovers tonight for dinner.

she is also getting her daughter a cell phone, thats i guess her 'payment' for getting mommy the money.

and, as noted by the police officer, she was drinking, as we can all smell it on her breath.


i am shocked that a woman could act like this....


however, im not stupid


i know that if tomorrow they do decide to take action, knowing her family, and the way that they are... i am putting myself and my children in danger as they are not the most 'gentle' people. it has been talked about by my family and friends that i should move... but, also that first thing in the morning, i get a restraining order put out on her and all her family.





im going to bed, but, thanks for the well wishings and the thoughts and concerns, today im feeling a bit 'alone'

What a horrible, horrible situation. The woman doesn't deserve kids and they deserve a better role model than her. And it sounds like you deserve some cheering up.

I hope the situation resolves itself. At least you're lucky to have such good, decent kids.

Take care.

nakedpianoplayer said:

That's terrible.

oh lord help you! what a terrible situation to be in..but...you didn't ask for this crap to hit your fan. I say press charges. It's very difficult to take children from their mother on a permanant basis...yes..they will prolly have to got to protective custody or with family for a while but maybe mom will learn a lesson then. I'd be freakin' livid if someone stole from me via their child then to have dinner delivered and talk of expensive gifts!

nakedpianoplayer said:

I wouldn't press charges.

I'd beat that bitch ass.

And continue to beat her ass.

I'll give her the worse $300.00 ass kicking she'd ever get.

Then I'd turn around and beat her kid's ass.

Everybody in that house would get an ass kicking.

And if you need authorization to give an adult a good ass beating...call me.

...
[Edited 10/25/05 14:59pm]

I sympathise completely.

Naked, you'll do the kids a favor by calling the police. A woman who isn't above asking a child to steal, will use a child in other ways.
You can't help the mom, help the kids.
[Edited 10/25/05 15:15pm]

naked honey all credit to you for how you are coping

don't let the thought that the kids could be taken from her cloud your judgement. at ten years old there may be a chance for this kid to turn around with a responsible adult. but as others have said, right now she can not be trusted with her words or her actions.
how is your kid dealing with it?

and i know that you will take whatever measures are deemed necessary for the wellbeing of you and your family...
do you know how i know this??
because you are a good mommy

Oh honey, wow! I don't know what to say. You are right now it is not about money, it is about the child.

If anytime you want to talk honey, imm here, love Mad
[Edited 10/25/05 22:14pm]

AlienX2050 said:

That's exactly what I was thinking. Might not be the best way to handle it, but that's my first thought EXACTLY.

Nekky, I'm so sorry this has happened. Stand up for yourself sweetie. This woman through her child has wronged you seriously. Protect yourself as needed.

This woman sounds like a "professional victim". She needs to be held accountable for her actions.

thanks guys


i was all torn up last night about this .... the thought of doing harm to that CHILD makes my heart so sad. ESPECIALLY because her MOTHER directed her to do it !!!!!

at any rate, the original officer came over today, he got a lot more out of her, in fact, she told him things i NEVER would have imagined would come out of her mouth.....

she admitted to TELLING her child to come back and get more money when all she showed up with in the beginning was 20 dollars.... thats what makes me MOST sick.

she also told the officer that yes, she said, 'fuck that white bitch, i aint giving her shit back, she aint gonna do nothin about it, let her ass come TRY to get it from me.' well.... i guess you know how that affected me.

she also admitted to spending the rest of the money, but, cant pay it back right now because "she has bills to pay". thats just CRAZY !!!!!

she admitted to planning a party for her kids with the money she took from me....








so, i told the officer that she has until the end of today to bring me back 300 dollars, i will work with her on the rest *and i know i will never see that last 150 dollars*.. but, im trying to be honest and fair with everyone involved, what can i say ? i have a big heart, and unfortunately, even when im done as wrong as i have been, i still try to help

call me stupid if you will.... but, on my judgement day, i want it known that i tried to be as fair as possible - even when it wasnt up to me to be fair.

much love, i'll let you guys know if she shows up with the money tonight, keep your fingers crossed... that baby girl could use some of our prayers while we're at it

-NPP

ok, heres the update i have to share with everyone.....




the mother who's child took the money, i thought i would never see the money again...






well... tonight, she brought me back another 300 dollars


apparently, she was scared enough today that she paid the rest of what they owed.

yes, another 150 dollars is still missing, but, im grateful to have what i have back, and i can make it with this amount. my bills will be paid, and i am out of the hole

the other part of it is... the girls in question will be working the rest of the money off which is the last part of the deal i made with them. starting tomorrow, they will be cleaning my garage (with my supervision of course) and doing quite a bit of winderizing around the house, things i dont have time to do... hopefully, a big lesson has been learned by all - and hopefully there has been some 'wake-ups' in some folks mind.

i am happy to have my hard earned money back, im happy that it was handled without anyone being arrested, but, im most happy that the children in this case have hopefully learned something valuable and something that will stay with them a lifetime.


hopefully that policeman will see it the same way tomorrow and all this will be behind us.....



NPP

Good 4 U!!!

funkpill said:

thank you baby

and thanks for the help earlier today... it was just what i needed

nakedpianoplayer said:

You're welcome...

Not always, situations like this has a happy ending....

I'd still have those cops scare the crap outta that kid. Let the kid get the lesson now--before she is up in your house again near any of your stuff...let alone near your kids. Your daughter is a bold soul.....this kid isn't the best peer right now....

That's good news. I was worried

wow, am glad it was all worked out!!!!!1

This sounds like a reasonable solution. I'm still all for the whup down, but I know you have a gentle heart.

I COMPLETELY agree with Blues about your daughter spending time with this young lady. I know it's tough to think of hurting either of their feelings but this is where you have to be very strong. If her own mother will not teach her about actions and consequences you may have to. With your big heart, I think the best you could do is that your daughter does not EVER go to their house, spend the night etc. and that they may hang out at your house ONLY under your direct supervision. Unfortunately, what they do at school is difficult, if not impossible to control. As far as that goes, this will demonstrate your daughter's character.

You do have a chance to make a difference in this young girl's life, but don't let it be at the expense of you and your children's welfare.