>>TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

>>I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you
>>didn't get more than you did:

>>5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
>>36 times you did not come home at all
>>21 times you didn't cum
>>33 times you came too soon
>>19 times you went soft before you got in
>>38 times you worked too late
>>10 times you got cramps in your toes
>>29 times you had to get up early to play golf
>>2 times you were in a fight and someone
>>kicked you in the balls
>>4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
>>3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
>>2 times you had a splinter in your finger
>>20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
>>6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
>>98 times you were too busy watching TV

>>Of the times we did get together:

>>The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing
>>the sheets.
>>I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,
>>"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
>>The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breath





.
[Edited 9/28/05 8:21am]

stupid bloody men!

Disclaimer : not that Mach agrees/wrote this... it's a joke ( i guess )