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PrintableDude, you're freaking out. Just take it slow and give her the space she wants. Wait for her to call you and all that shit...sounds like she just doesn't know what she wants. If she doesn't call for a while, well then go out and find a new girl cuz she's not that into you. | |
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Why can't people be fucking straight with each other.
Don't go getting hard on yourself Dook, she has the issue not you. Go on being who you are, she will eventually find her way in life. With or without you.  ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: Why can't people be fucking straight with each other.
Don't go getting hard on yourself Dook, she has the issue not you. Go on being who you are, she will eventually find her way in life. With or without you. 
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Smother.....
Give me a pillow, I'll smother her. M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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And if none of this works, DOOK, I'm sure the Bay area affords you a vast selection of available men to help you rebound!  Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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She thinks she knows what she wants, but apparently she really doesn't. She wants wants to play games when you're telling her she doesn't have to because she already got you. | |
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It seems to me that she already is at least aware that she doesn't know what she wants. And she told you that. Sweeny had some good advice, and if you really want to see, tell her you got the note, and back off. Maintain the friendship--if she just got out of that other relationship then you don't know what might happen in the future with you two by being friends as well. You aren't some idiot, Dook, you are just head over heels for this girl. And yeah, men who can be too devoted after 3 months can be scary. Chill, be friends...and see what happens.
and the 12 packs have a tendency to make lovesick men do stupid crap, so, keep that in mind..... | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: Here's her email...I'm such a fucking twat sometimes....
"Hey, I don’t know if any of that stuff made any sense to you. And Lord knows I don’t want to offend. Truth be told, last week, I was SERIOUSLY sweating you. I didn’t hear from you/talk to you/see you all week last week. By Friday, I was going CRAZY. You know this. Or do you? I was straight feening. I think I’ve become the type of person that needs a LOT of space to breathe. Read. Hang out w/ friends. Cook at home. Mess around on the internet. Shop. Watch LOST. Whatevs. And yes, I welcome the affection. I really do. I think I’m an affectionate person as well. But…I dunno. As a friend can I just say: don’t put me in a position to make me feel like I go you. Can you do that? I don’t know. That’s why I say that I’m fucked up. I came from a relationship where the guy was completely aloof and all I wanted was for someone to show me something. And here you are. Right? But man, it just feels like it’s too much of a good thing. Like chocolate and eating too much of it in a short time. And then getting sick. Capeche?" Dook, at this point I've probably re-read this email more times than you have. I have to be honest. She's not the one. When a woman is really really into someone, they don't pull back. Sure, people play games and "test" people. but they don't say things like she is saying. The fact that she addresses you as a "friend"....not good. Dump her ass, Dook. NEXT !!! Inside the Fleshofmyflesh is the Soulofmysoul | |
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Do not over think this. She just wants some space, give it to her. Be honest about how you feel and respect her boundries when she makes them.
One day at a time, just work slow. When you give her space she may come back and say, "I want it like it was before". You never know, just take it slow and show her the respect you would show any FRIEND.  | |
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Nero said: Everything should be black or white. Things should be, or should not be. But life, alas, does not work that way.
Life =... 
...Big time! tA  Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431 "Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all." | |
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Nero said: Then again, if she's not open to receiving your affections as much as you desire to give them, then perhaps you can find another chick who is? Showing things like that should be welcomed.  Agreed. If the chemistry there, everything will fall in place. Trust me, when you meet the right person, there won't be any games. Your affections will be recipricated. The problem is that your dealing with the wrong chick and it's time for you to move on and find some who his in sync with you maturity wise. | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: superspaceboy said: it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She's likes whats shes getting...but it's coming a bit too freely and easy for her...and it's freaking her out.
Why do people do this? If you are getting all you want without having the "challenge", why give up something that feels right. It means that IT IS. Having your cake and eating it too is a scary thing. My advice...give her a little bit of space. Tell her you like her and all, but you can't decide for her what she wants. I totally hear where you're coming from. My best friend told me to just be straight up and honest with girls - if they like it, cool. If not, then maybe they're not the one. I guess I don't need games - like you said, if it feels right, why doubt it? We get along so well, we laugh, we really connect... I dunno - I guess sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me 
She does sound immature. I went through the same kind of thing 10 years ago when I decided I was attracted to certian kind of women that end failing. I've had girls say '...you're too nice...'. Stick to your own growth and leave the suckers behind if they can't keep up. They'll may resent you if you're ' too mature..' Be cool and listen to 'Strange relationship' and the Parade album. | |
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Rev said: ReturnOfDOOK said: I totally hear where you're coming from. My best friend told me to just be straight up and honest with girls - if they like it, cool. If not, then maybe they're not the one. I guess I don't need games - like you said, if it feels right, why doubt it? We get along so well, we laugh, we really connect... I dunno - I guess sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me
She does sound immature. I went through the same kind of thing 10 years ago when I decided I was attracted to certian kind of women that end failing. I've had girls say '...you're too nice...'. Stick to your own growth and leave the suckers behind if they can't keep up. They'll may resent you if you're ' too mature..' Be cool and listen to 'Strange relationship' and the Parade album.  Great minds think alike Rev. | |
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althom said: bkw said: Listen, i'm a cold, hard cynic about romance and I have absolutely no time for stupid little mind games that people play.
I'd go for Threadbare's option number 1. I'd cool right off and even tell her it's off. To be absolutely honest, from reading that email of hers I'm not sure how much she really wants to be in a serious relationship with a great guy like you anyway. Anyway, the worst thing you can look like to a girl is desperate. NEVER look, act or appear desperate in any way. If you do, the girl will run. Therefore, do the opposite, but nicely. The truth is, and I'm ready for the backlash on this, is that women say they want sensitive, caring, cream pie guys that will swoon around them but they really dont (mostly). For some strange reason they like a bit of a challenge. You have to walk that tight rope where you give moments of great attention and affection, but also moments of subtle aloofness. Sometimes you got to say, "I cant see you this weekend I'm going drinking/golfing etc etc with the boys. Catch you next week." Say you ring her on Monday, but dont ring til Tuesday. You get the picture. DISCLAIMER: I'm only talking about those early weeks/months of a relationship here. Oh boy!! Are you going to get it. lol No-one argued cos they know I'm right. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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bkw said: Listen, i'm a cold, hard cynic about romance and I have absolutely no time for stupid little mind games that people play.
I'd go for Threadbare's option number 1. I'd cool right off and even tell her it's off. To be absolutely honest, from reading that email of hers I'm not sure how much she really wants to be in a serious relationship with a great guy like you anyway. Anyway, the worst thing you can look like to a girl is desperate. NEVER look, act or appear desperate in any way. If you do, the girl will run. Therefore, do the opposite, but nicely. The truth is, and I'm ready for the backlash on this, is that women say they want sensitive, caring, cream pie guys that will swoon around them but they really dont (mostly). For some strange reason they like a bit of a challenge. You have to walk that tight rope where you give moments of great attention and affection, but also moments of subtle aloofness. Sometimes you got to say, "I cant see you this weekend I'm going drinking/golfing etc etc with the boys. Catch you next week." Say you ring her on Monday, but dont ring til Tuesday. You get the picture. DISCLAIMER: I'm only talking about those early weeks/months of a relationship here. Sounds like variations on Leykis 101.
* http://www.leykisonline.c..._rules.htm * This will get the heat. tA Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431 "Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all." | |
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well at least she watches "Lost"..thats a damn good tv show. I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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eikonoklastes said: 
M MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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I totally agree with everything jersey said...
and you are not a twat 
just give her a little space and see what happens  | |
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