ReturnOfDOOK said:

Okay now I'm pissed. Where is she!!!!!?????

What you need to do, and it's hard, is lay low a little. Make her call you. Be cool for a second. It's really hard, Been there, done that.

I'm the kind of person that if something is going well, I jump right in. The other person usually freaks out. I mean who cares about the rules of dating when you really like someone.

Oooohhhh I want to pee in her kool aid.

M

ReturnOfDOOK said:

"I was straight feening."

Uhhh...are you dating Lil Kim?

Soulofmysoul said:

Awww Paul
You did nothing wrong and you shouldn't feel like an ass!

Maybe if you write her a short email or tell her next time you talk about what your friend said and why you have been so attentive to her. Tell her you honestly like her and you want her to know that but you understand that she needs space. Then give her that space.

Once she sees you going out with your friends and doing your own thing again she'll want your full attention allover again.

Good luck and don't be sad you're a great guy and I'm sure she knows that.

jerseykrs2 said:

Nero said:

I don't get the too much of a good thing business. Is she one of those chicks that likes to get beat up?

jerseykrs2 said:

now you know i dont think youre an asshole

ReturnOfDOOK said:

same for you... i think you are an awesome guy you already know that..


actually, come to think of it...

i have been single for like 8 years


what the hell is wrong with ME ?????






gee, thanks guys, IM sad now....

nakedpianoplayer said:

Been there. And, yes, the woman was strikingly beautiful.


You can (pretend to) be a jerk and drop her, telling her you don't play games and how you're tired of hers -- automatically getting her attention with the realization that she probably misjudged you and, thereby driving your desirability quotient through the roof.

Know, however, that could backfire if -- while single, you meet a really sweet woman with all the qualities you desire, and sense, too. -- and if in the unlikely event she was just trying to let you down easy and move on.

OR

You can give her the space she requested while still finding ways to occasionally give her mementos of your care for her. Take more time for you, hanging with your boys, seeing movies, etc. Give her enough space to miss you.

And be patient.

As for me? I let ego take over and took the first way out. Even turned her down when she came after me. (But, hey, Romans 8:28. Because I'm enjoying my current blessing.)

Peace

TMPletz said:

thanks sweetie

gemini13 said:

Yes. It sounds like a poor, cliche break up line to me. But what do I know?

hardest thing to do is to wait for her to call you

but it will be worth it



and don't call it a game - it's just part of the mating ritual we go through

I say you ring her! On the hour, every hour for the next 48 hours.

Nero said:

Could be. But sometimes it's not that pat or cliche. Sometimes, the woman's self-esteem is so low, she tries to push the guy away out of feeling like she doesn't deserve him: "If I put him through some changes, will he stay?"

ThreadBare said:

Cute. But would you trust that to be the idea of a woman who says she was "straight feening?"

I'm not even sure what that means, but I'm pretty sure it's not in my dictionary.

Ermm, seriously though, back on to the problem at hand, I like that idea.

I hate these stupid dating games. Everything should be black or white. Things should be, or should not be. But life, alas, does not work that way.

althom said:

http://www.prince.org/msg/100/160229

althom said:

Good lord how did u ever end up married

Ocean said:

I wore her down!

Nero said:

True.

althom said:

Send her my sympathy

jerseykrs2 said:

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Miguel you're killing me!!

seriously Paul..give her some space and be patient...it's hard i know but if you're serious and she's worth it in your eyes...just do it!

Listen, i'm a cold, hard cynic about romance and I have absolutely no time for stupid little mind games that people play.

I'd go for Threadbare's option number 1. I'd cool right off and even tell her it's off. To be absolutely honest, from reading that email of hers I'm not sure how much she really wants to be in a serious relationship with a great guy like you anyway.

Anyway, the worst thing you can look like to a girl is desperate. NEVER look, act or appear desperate in any way. If you do, the girl will run. Therefore, do the opposite, but nicely.

The truth is, and I'm ready for the backlash on this, is that women say they want sensitive, caring, cream pie guys that will swoon around them but they really dont (mostly). For some strange reason they like a bit of a challenge. You have to walk that tight rope where you give moments of great attention and affection, but also moments of subtle aloofness. Sometimes you got to say, "I cant see you this weekend I'm going drinking/golfing etc etc with the boys. Catch you next week." Say you ring her on Monday, but dont ring til Tuesday. You get the picture.

DISCLAIMER: I'm only talking about those early weeks/months of a relationship here.

bkw said:

Oh boy!! Are you going to get it. lol

Sweeny79 said:

Finally some good advise!!

Just tell her how you feel.. that you don't want to loose her and give her the space that she needs!

Snakes with tits the lot of them.

present company excluded.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

aww Paul it's a fine line hon... just remember who you are and just be the best you can be

Nero said:

Hey, at least they both seem to be Jodeci fans. ...Feenin´!

But seriously, I can relate to how he feels, especially since I know that Dook is a Cancer...it´s awful when a girl acts like that...it can make a Cancer sick.

I´ve been in a very similar situation, and I know it´s easier said than done, but you need to chill, relax and wait ..don´t look desperate. Then again, don´t look like you´ve completely lost interest for she might find someone else then.

Good luck, and my deepest sympathy.
[Edited 9/13/05 3:53am]