ella731 said:

You're not jacking!

Your situation is different, he's CLEAN. This guy is not. He was told from his doctor he would die if he continued to drink. He's still drinking and bragging about it. He's just not a good person.

I'm very happy to hear that you and your man have worked things out. If I saw the LEAST bit of potential in Mark I would give him a chance, I really would. I want nothing else but happiness for my friend. I just know she won't get it with him.

If you have the cojones, and I only say this because it seems you do, tell her flat out "NO". If she had made the arrangements, you could bow out. I don't think she has the right to force her blowhard of a boyfriend on everyone. It will ruin your vacation. Don't suffer that fool gladly.

Thanks for all of your responses. He won't be coming until Thursday or Friday and we need to be out by Saturday morning. I will tell her to make plans outside of the house so I don't have to deal with him, and if I do have to deal with him I will tell her he has to leave. She has family that lives on the island, if she thinks he's such a wonderful guy then her family can host him.

I can't get all worked up before my vacation. I have enough to deal with on my own as it is and I just want to relax. I've spoken to her sister a little while ago and there's going to be a little "Intervention" in the next few days. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks guys, I truly value your opinions here!!!

I would say he definitely cannot come.. even if she is your best friend, its gonna be a crap vacation if he comes when no one wants him there, plus you dunno how it gonna pan out, if he still drinks and shit.. he could turn abusive or shit.. I would keep well away (thats just me) and explain to your friend how you feel truthfully.. she may be hurt, and pissed off or tell you to fuck off, but if she is a real friend, she will respect your (and your other friends) wishes and when she realises what a fucking waste of space this loser is, she knows she still has a friend to fall back on.

I think it would be a crappy vacation if he were there.. you may as well throw your money away now

starkitty said:

LOL....hispanic arnt we...From where?

look, if this guy were really an angel, you wouldn't know all these icky facts about him. people who screw up but are basically nice people don't end up having it be known by casual acquaintances that they're alcoholic hepititis people, unless of course they're some kind of "i beat addiction!" motivational speaker type, and that's even MORE disgusting.

i was in the position once where my friends didn't like who i was dating. sometimes, if it was a big dinner or something, i'd make them deal and i'd bring my bf along, and he would invariably do something to piss everyone off and embarrass me to boot (yes, i dated the gay version of larry david). if it was something more intimate and personal, like a nice dinner party or a small birthday party, i'd tell my schmuck bf to stay at home so i could enjoy my damn self.

the bottom line was, why would he want to go somewhere when he knows people don't want him there? it's one thing if you were all going out to a bar - quite another to be going off on a vacation together. your friend and her boyfriend should understand this. if he's not gracious enough to step aside, and if your friend isn't tactful enough to understand this has overwhelming potential to make the whole trip awkward and gross, then you should probably just spell it out, and go so far as to say that you understand if your friend decides not to join you. hold your ground, but understand that she loves this guy for whatever reason and be sensitive to that.

I don't think you should make in concessions. Your vacation and friendship may be ruined if this guys comes along.

Have you thought about changing your sig?

That'll show him!

XxAxX said:

hold up, did it come across as me saying Carrie was being rude? I hope not. I was just trying to say that Carrie is in a difficult situation and may lose a friend over this. I don't see many situations as being one person's fault or anothers in reality - it's just that we all have different perspectives on things.

I do think Carrie's friend has placed her in a potentially difficult situation but, from her perspective, she wants to be with her boyfriend. Whether she wants that more than she wants to spend time with Carrie, I don't know, but it does put all concerned in a confused state unless the air is cleared and people are honest with one another.

Carrie's told us she has been honest with her friend and I just wanted to commiserate with her. I could be wrong (I hope so) and her friend may see things from Carrie's perspective and honour her wishes.

I hope this clears up my view ...

Lay your cards on the table, tell her you dont want him there and why. If she chooses not to attend then that is her decision. Just be honest, she cant fault you for that.

Be honest with her, girl...and have your other friends voice their opinions too. This will bother you the whole time you're there if you don't say something. You go on this trip every year...don't let it be ruined.

applekisses said:

You're commments are dead on it Apples. Honesty is the best policy especially if you have been freinds with someone for long time, then she will respect you telling her the real deal.

I talked to her yesterday and I've been nothing BUT honest the minute I found out she met him!!!

She's only known him a month, supposedly she hasn't slept with him and she's "getting to know him better". I laughed when she said that and asked her "isnt' what I told you enough??". She's thick headed.

Anyway we came to an agreement that he can come on Friday afternoon and stay the one night. She wanted him there Thursday but I said no and she accepted it. We have to be out of the house by 11am the next day so I'll just have to bite my tongue and be thankful he won't be there the whole week.

CarrieLee said:

good, at least the two of you could come to an agreement peacefully.


hopefully it isnt to bad for you, and just think positive thoughts of you and your man on vacation

ella731 said:

That scares me even more...the most we've spent together is 3 days in a row!! hahahaha

Good Luck!