sinisterpentatonic said:

Yeah, baby.

Happy Birthday! Tune out if you need to but don't tune out completely, we need your musical vision to educate and guide us.

You're and I'll be eternally greatful for the Bossa Nova knowledge you turned me on to.

Anxiety said:

What a beautiful thread

Anx, our communication dropped off only because we are busy and nothing else. I don't have time to scratch my ass let alone have the depth to all the relationships I have/want to have on this here community. Not having a car certainly makes for a challenge on my time and how I spend it and only having computer access at work....well you get the picture

I really honestly loved our discussions after the Secret Santa thing. The package I sent you was probably only about half of what I really wanted to send you I just didn't have the time to hunt around for everything I had in mind. I felt a very real sense of peace regarding the discussions we had about spirituality and our experiences with it. The church left me with the bitterest taste in my mouth and I'm at a place in my life (thank you Madartista for hearing me out on this over the weekend) where my cynicism is strong, yet so is my heart and spirit and my sincere drive to be close to God. I'm never conflicted on how to love or by letting my spirit lead me in my life, but there are times I have to make sure I watch that cynicism because if I'm not careful it can take over too much of me, and my spirit and heart are the only places I should ever be led from. The peace you have found regarding your spirit....I respect it, revere it, am thankful that you have it.

Even though we don't have a history of those really indepth time consuming conversations and interactions, what little we've had is good enough base to know that we are truly friends.....and brothers. That is how I think of you. I guess when you reach the age we are at, some perspective is in order. I remember coming out and the people who were mentors to me, and now I realize that I/we are mentors to the next generation. I don't remember how I got from being a youth to leading the youth but alas, this is where we are at.

There are a handful of folks here, among them Nana and Stymie, who really galvanized my reality in this life. My childhood was hard, full of pain, sad and rarely carefree. To have come through it with my sanity intact, and with a heart that still wanted to love....well I guess I don't really need to expound on how profound that is to me as a person. So many people become monsters and looking back, I surely should have been one. But God helped me to find my strength and I am happy that I could see that I had it, and even when I couldn't see, my spirit knew better and carried me through.

Well, coming into my own as an adult, I realized how important it is for me in my life to be an advocate. For our family. I don't know why we've been thrust onto a planet that primarily sees us as evil, but people like you made me realize the importance of being open, and honest about who I am. Not that I didn't know that or live that way before, just that I became more aware. Even in the face of rejection by family, the church, society.....I know I am here to be true to the person I am. That my truth is stronger than everything else. And when I think about the fact that you are out there, being true to yourself, I feel part of a family, a thread in the fabric of life. And I know it's right. We are the future and I'm proud to be leading the charge with you.

Number23 said:

You ain't going nowhere.

This is my favourite thread of the whole year so far, no joke, just for the sheer time and effort that went into it. I think it's remarkable.

Anxiety said:

Wow! I'm seeing this for the first time and you've made my day! Your words have re-energized me! I love you!

i am so geeked that you think i'm funny! it makes me feel all sexy and shit! and it would be so fun if we all could go out to dinner and hang out. i'd enjoy that. whenever its food involved, i'm down

I still never get mentioned by anyone.

minneapolisgenius said:

don't worry he loves you, we all do!

brownsugar said:

Thanks.

(that was part of my tri-yearly plea for attention on the org)

Absolutely the thread of the year. Perhaps the greatest single post in org history. I'm dumbfounded.

Whoops. Sorry anx, i said on ur birthday thread I thought u didn't like me. I guess u do a lil'. I had no idea. Sorry and thanx.

I admit I was shocked. I honestly thought u were taking the piss out of me at least most of the time. Maybe u were or are, but thats fine and ur cool and very funny anyway.

I admit I read this thread because I was bored. No offence but I had no idea I would be on the list. Thanx again. Ur essay was touching. who knew I could get touched by someone being touched by this place (I only come here when bored or at college)

Incredible thread Anxiety. You've added a depth and a caring spirit to the org that is very much appreciated by many, many of us. Sort of an insane sanity ~ calm, fun, intelligent and often irreverant but never once have you been hurtful to anyone. And, your knowledge of all things musical is mindboggling. I know you will find your way with the job situation and hope that somehow it will allow time for you to continue to hang around here. Your leadership through example is a rare gift and I thank you for sharing it with us.

Thanx Anx...you made me feel all warm and fuzzy when I needed a pick me up

I wish I was around more to chat with you and all the other great people here on the org...I miss everyone

I would also love to get to know you better Anx so anytime you wanna drop me a message I'd love to hear from you

Anxiety said:

Wow. Such words don't come every day. Please know that my awe of you is echoed in your words to me. The perspective and color you inject into your writing is really second to none and you are immensely genuine and approachable. Your light shines very, very bright my friend and I am honored to be able to bask in it.

I do adore you so! One look into those eyes and I knew everything beautiful and humble about you.

mango tang, mango tang, mango tang.


I'm gonna be in Chicago in 06, do you know any straight women that have an attraction for overweight italian men with bad dispositions?? If you do, we should all have dinner!!

Anxiety said:

Are you trying to get fresh with me? If so, thanks. Oh, and I think you're a pretty nice guy too. Even though you eat little children.

jerseykrs said:

Oh, I'm sure the ladies would love to sit and watch an overweight Italian man eat dinner - maybe one of them could pick the food out of your stupid goatee.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

jerseykrs said:

ohhhh im late again....

thank you christopher

i cant wait to see you again

forgot a word edit
[Edited 8/19/05 22:40pm]

Awesome thread, man... Awesome.

bump

very nice. i actually read the whole thing (and it wasn't because i was searching for my name!!!)...its not often we see such a heartfelt outpouring of genuine emotion. i'm sure all who were mentionned truly appreciate your insight and kind words. Anx you rock.