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Printablep0pstar said: Natisse said: I agree in theory...unfortunately nothing is black and white me too having been there.  the greatest revenge is success and happiness sweetie  | |
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p0pstar said: Nero said: You know, I've never been cheated on. But I can say I'll never do it. I value honesty too much. If you're in a mature, adult relationship, you should be able to go to your partner and say, "I'm sorry, but..." and whatever comes after it. Yes, it sucks for that person, but I bet it will feel a fuck of a lot better than having you lie to them for days, weeks, months, years whatever and then have them find out. At least in a way, by being forthright and honest you can maintain some amount of integrity. it's not always that easy to get out if you take into account mortgages, children and basically the chance that saying you want out could mean another black eye or maybe worse this time. 
it's also not easy for me to post [Edited 7/27/05 8:18am] I was going to mention something about your situation but totally forgot to. I know that some situations are harder to resolve than others. When you're in a violent relationship I can imagine its much more difficult to say I'm leaving and to sort out finances amicably and take care of the children. In a relationship like that, all respect goes out the window so he shouldn't be surprised if you cheat on his sorry ass. I have never been in your situation so I can't really comment but I know you're a fantastic, warm person who deserves much better.As I said previously I wasn't condemning other people for their choices, just making comment on my own personal feelings so I hope you don't feel that I was having a go at you. [Edited 7/27/05 8:27am] I'll leave graffiti where you've never been kissed | |
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Natisse said: p0pstar said: me too having been there. the greatest revenge is success and happiness sweetie | |
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p0pstar said: CarrieMpls said: Well... then that's the choice you've made. I know its not an easy position to find yourself in. But I've never, ever known anyone who cheated on their significant other who didn't thoroughly, completely, utterly regret what happened. (And I've known a few...) If you want to be in a comitted, stable relationship for the benefit of your child, then that's what you should work on doing. Best of luck! ok... i wasn't going to post on this thread but it's not black and white I cheated on my husband, left him for someone else, the relationship was terrible, abusive and destructive for everyone involved including the children. I don't regret what happened when i left even though the subsequent relationship failed too it was the best thing to ever happen to me I'm lucky I got out of the situation i was in. I'll never regret my choice, it was for the best. ... thanks for your input,popstar..... my relationship suffers not from abuse but from neglect....i dont think there are many things that my wee boy would notice....we dont fight...we rarely shout and we still have the odd kiss and cuddle because for all that i feel the relationship is dieing...i still have feelings for my partner...i just cannot go on any longer staring at the ceiling every night...i had a mental breakdown 3 years ago mainly because of this problem and we have gone through all the counseling stage and it improved slightly but is now back to the same way it was but i really dont know if i have the will to end it.....sometimes, despite the fact that you dont like it...seeing someone else seems like the best option  | |
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p0pstar said: CarrieMpls said: Well... then that's the choice you've made. I know its not an easy position to find yourself in. But I've never, ever known anyone who cheated on their significant other who didn't thoroughly, completely, utterly regret what happened. (And I've known a few...) If you want to be in a comitted, stable relationship for the benefit of your child, then that's what you should work on doing. Best of luck! ok... i wasn't going to post on this thread but it's not black and white I cheated on my husband, left him for someone else, the relationship was terrible, abusive and destructive for everyone involved including the children. I don't regret what happened when i left even though the subsequent relationship failed too it was the best thing to ever happen to me I'm lucky I got out of the situation i was in. I'll never regret my choice, it was for the best. 
You say you didn't regret what happened, but I would think that's the exception, rather than the rule. And ultimately, you left the first relationship. Here, he's hoping to stay together. And its implied that his partner would have no knowledge of what's going on. In general, I still believe its best to leave one relationship before starting another. Unless of course you can talk it out with your partner and both agree to see other people and still stay together. If so, I'm all for it. I don't think it would work for me, but some people are able to make that work. And being honest is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, well, what do you have? |
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CarrieMpls said: p0pstar said: ok... i wasn't going to post on this thread but it's not black and white I cheated on my husband, left him for someone else, the relationship was terrible, abusive and destructive for everyone involved including the children. I don't regret what happened when i left even though the subsequent relationship failed too it was the best thing to ever happen to me I'm lucky I got out of the situation i was in. I'll never regret my choice, it was for the best.
You say you didn't regret what happened, but I would think that's the exception, rather than the rule. And ultimately, you left the first relationship. Here, he's hoping to stay together. And its implied that his partner would have no knowledge of what's going on. In general, I still believe its best to leave one relationship before starting another. Unless of course you can talk it out with your partner and both agree to see other people and still stay together. If so, I'm all for it. I don't think it would work for me, but some people are able to make that work. And being honest is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, well, what do you have? I should add - I'm certainly not passing judgement, either. We all have to make our own choices in life. I agree its not always black and white. At the end of the day, we only have ourselves to answer to. |
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saw this on a church sign once:
" Forbidden fruit creates messy jams." Silly, but wise. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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