Hello humans. I have been keeping a relatively low profile lately. I've been doing a lot of hoof to hand combat training and I have learned a licking technique that can cause temporary visibility issues for humans. All a part of the overthrow of humanity for the Cow World Order.

But sometimes, in my superior cow brain, I have thoughts. I wonder about the teachings of the Cow Oracle and wonder if an overthrow is really neccessary. Couldn't we just peacefully co-exist with humans? It would require the ceasing of the slaughter of my brothers and sisters but if enough humans agreed, maybe, just maybe...

I am a peaceful cow at heart. I get bored with feigning docility and I would much rather be in a laboratory or something coming up for a cure for diseases or in a classroom getting my doctorate. But I understand that this is what cows have always done. So why should I be different?

We have been planning the overthrow for a long time. A very long time. Lack of finances, opposable thumbs, etc.have kept us from our goals. But I have had it instilled in me to fight and I do resent the cow cruelty that has existed for so long. But it just takes dreamers, cow dreamers and human dreamers, to come together. Just think, the two of us, with our superior intellects over all the other animals, could do so many wonderful things if we just combined forces. Just imagine, as your human John Lennon said.

I am floating an idea that any of my ilk would resent. But I must risk being branded a traitor (and I mean they will literally brand my ass). What do you humans think? Could you stop eating us? Could you stop draping yourselves in our beautiful hide? Could you treat us a equals?

Your human feedback is requested.

This thread is A number 1!

2the9s said:

Okay, I get your humor. We have a sense of humor about ourselves. I find this one below somewhat funny.

This is BULL shit.

ChargingBULL said:

CB, do you really feel like we must keep up the war? I mean in your heart of heart, in your stomach of four stomachs, don't you feel that we could all co-exist? Is war really neccessary? Maybe it's just the excessive amount of alcohol I have ingested talking but shouldn't we give peace a chance?

Cow said:

These species have tried to peacefully cohabitate with those vile humans.



Lambs to the slaughter, all of them.

JOIN THE MOOLITIA

Cow said:

Cows Rule!

Charging Bull is right, I guess. Humans will never back down. In fact I think one of them put something in my water because I am flying right now.

Okay, so I had one, two, seven , okay 12 shots of vodka behind the barn. Is that so wrong? I have a lot of pressure on me. With the milk-giving and the reveloution. And the Oracle on my ass all the time. Damn, a cow needs a break every once in a while.

Oh man, I am so fucked up. Wait, wait...I hear it. Oh that's my song, that's my song. Someone is playing "Farmer in the Dell". Oh yeah...oh I am so funky. Oh yeah, that's right...uh huh.

You know, I'm so alone. Sometimes I think I have lost my looks. I mean I know that I am the same fine ass heifer I have always been but then, you know...well the bulls stopped coming around. And when they do they only want one thing. Maybe I don't want to be mounted, alright. Maybe I just want to be held. You know, maybe I just need someone to listen to me. have you horny bastards ever thought of that.

Oh man, I wonder if I rally could jump over the moon you know. That song about the cow jumping over the moon. I think I could leap over that motherfucker right now. Let me try. 1, 2, 3...ouch, I think I hurt something. Oh man, why do I always get so sloppy like this? So I had 12, 15, 17 shots...I mean what the hell. I used to be able to handle my liquor but I guess I'm just getting old and fat.

You've seen me, humans? Do you think I'm fat? I'm not fat, am I. 1100 pounds is what cows weigh. I think my BMI is real low. I've tried to eat some of that low fat barley but it's got such an aftertaste. Oh man, my head is spinning.

I think I'm going to lay down for a second. You humans talk amongst yourself. yeah, talk about your cars and nice watches and reality shows. When I wake up I'm going to kick some ass.

Cow said:

I was starting to like you, but now I realize that you talk to much.

ChargingBULL said:

Oh what difference does it make...all bulls have ever done for me is knock me up...I want communication. I want trust. I want commitment.

Do you know where I could score any more hooch, by the way? I'm about out over here.

Cow said:

My ex was always trying to communicate.
She Moo'd at me night and day. Hell, she even moo'd at Farmer Ted constantly.
That's why he put 'er down.

sorry, what was that? i was just finishing off my steak....

What kind of hippy lovin' bullshit is this?

Like most things, the Scottish either invented it or do it better.

Number23 said:

spoken like a true philosopher, cow.

with the proper knife n fork we can all get along

Man, I got so drunk last night. Hope I didn't embarass myself too much. Wait, I posed for what?

Xavier24 said:

What he (I think) said! Cows are the bomb!!!

Number23 said:

highland cattle!!! They're sooo adorable!

AsianBomb777 said:

They do in Holland. Sometimes, you have to push them out of the way when you're on certain bike paths that go through the pastures.

Cow said:

Udderly Babes.
Cowgirl

I like cows particularly that funky looking cow.....

But why must cows be so tasty?????