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PrintableFauxie said: I've thought about this topic a lot and decided I look at it this way:
I'm funny, but most people on this site are American.  
You occasionally make me chuckle.  | |
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2the9s said: Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything.
That's the truth, Ruth. Well done, 9sey.  | |
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No worries. | |
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Fauxie said: I've thought about this topic a lot and decided I look at it this way:
I'm funny, but most people on this site are American. So damn true. You're hilarious... and americans are, well....   americans.  | |
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Reincarnate said: 2the9s said: Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything. I think that I am someone who "gets" humor and for the most part "gets" people. And one thing that I "get" about humor is that it's not ONE thing, the way you're implying. It's a form of communication like any other. Humor can be kind, it can be hurtful or passive-aggressive, it can be bourne from insecurity, it can be the way the intelligence works at times, it can be lazy at others, whatever...if people aren't getting your humor or taking it the way you think would be best for your "public persona," it's because you don't care whether they do or not. Or it's because you want them not to get it to prove how humorless they are and how misunderstood you are. I don't dismiss people for having made one bad joke or even for having attacked me one or a few times etc. Also, I NEVER said that by not "getting" someone that they were therefore one thing ("insensitive/dumb/inappropriate/bitch" etc ); I said that in that case the miscommunication was their fault. The rest of the world is not responbsible for how we present ourselves, we are. It's hard because it's important and neccessary. But thanks for calling me lazy.  Far better put than my feeble effort. Again, I see the world in the same way you do ... which is slightly worrying  I'll not pretend to have read the whole thread, I skip what people said about themselves as being misunderstood cos I think it's bollocks pretty much. I do agree with all of the above though.  | |
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2the9s said: Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything.
Of course it's in everybody's own interest to not be misunderstood. And of course we all make a certain effort to get across, I thought that went without saying. But I strongly disagree when you say that nobody owes each other anything. People definitely owe each other an effort to break through the barrier of misunderstanding, no matter if they are senders or receivers of a message. People that make snap judgments about others aren't doing their part in the grand scheme of communication. But like I said before, it's ultimately their loss. | |
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Teacher said: I skip what people said about themselves as being misunderstood cos I think it's bollocks pretty much.
Oh wow, I couldn't have asked for a better proof that I have a valid point. | |
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retina said: Teacher said: I skip what people said about themselves as being misunderstood cos I think it's bollocks pretty much.
Oh wow, I couldn't have asked for a better proof that I have a valid point. You're welcome, whatever your point was. My point is that your "peace" with the Org you've talked about seems to be bollocks too  | |
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Teacher said: retina said: Oh wow, I couldn't have asked for a better proof that I have a valid point. You're welcome, whatever your point was. My point is that your "peace" with the Org you've talked about seems to be bollocks too What "peace" would that be? | |
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retina said: Teacher said: You're welcome, whatever your point was. My point is that your "peace" with the Org you've talked about seems to be bollocks too What "peace" would that be? If the search function worked I'd go find the thread where you said it, I THINK it might have been in the thread where we discussed feminism in Sweden but I'm definitely not sure about that, might have been somewhere else. In a loose context you spoke along the lines of having made peace with the Org since you last posted and spent a lot of time here, under whatever name that was. | |
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retina said: 2the9s said: Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything.
Of course it's in everybody's own interest to not be misunderstood. And of course we all make a certain effort to get across, I thought that went without saying. But I strongly disagree when you say that nobody owes each other anything. People definitely owe each other an effort to break through the barrier of misunderstanding, no matter if they are senders or receivers of a message. People that make snap judgments about others aren't doing their part in the grand scheme of communication. But like I said before, it's ultimately their loss. The whole point of my post was that I don't make snap judgments, don't think that people should, and that we owe each other everything. I was objecting to people who think it's a one way street. But beyond that immediate barrier of understanding, there may not be what we expect there. | |
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Teacher said: retina said: What "peace" would that be? If the search function worked I'd go find the thread where you said it, I THINK it might have been in the thread where we discussed feminism in Sweden but I'm definitely not sure about that, might have been somewhere else. In a loose context you spoke along the lines of having made peace with the Org since you last posted and spent a lot of time here, under whatever name that was. Actually, I don't think I ever made peace with the people that I was at odds with before I deleted my previous account. Some of them are still here and they still bug me just as much.
There are nice and funny people here too that make it worthwhile though, so in that sense I guess you could say that I've made peace with the idea of being on the Org. | |
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2the9s said: tackam said: See, sorta along the lines of what RED is saying, I think that's a lazy way of approaching it. If somebody intends to be funny or whatever and is consistently taken for something else, it's bullshit to say that they must just actually be that something else (often something along the lines of "insensitive/dumb/inappropriate/bitch"). Intention matters. Some folks think a little differently from others, and certainly humor is incredibly subjective. Trying to get inside the heads of folks whose internal metronome is funked up in whatever way is part of what makes life grand. Dismissing them in a way that is easy to categorize is to miss much.  Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything. I think that I am someone who "gets" humor and for the most part "gets" people. And one thing that I "get" about humor is that it's not ONE thing, the way you're implying. It's a form of communication like any other. Humor can be kind, it can be hurtful or passive-aggressive, it can be bourne from insecurity, it can be the way the intelligence works at times, it can be lazy at others, whatever...if people aren't getting your humor or taking it the way you think would be best for your "public persona," it's because you don't care whether they do or not. Or it's because you want them not to get it to prove how humorless they are and how misunderstood you are. I don't dismiss people for having made one bad joke or even for having attacked me one or a few times etc. Also, I NEVER said that by not "getting" someone that they were therefore one thing ("insensitive/dumb/inappropriate/bitch" etc ); I said that in that case the miscommunication was their fault. The rest of the world is not responbsible for how we present ourselves, we are. It's hard because it's important and neccessary. But thanks for calling me lazy. Well said 9s Particularly this point. | |
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2the9s said: retina said: Of course it's in everybody's own interest to not be misunderstood. And of course we all make a certain effort to get across, I thought that went without saying. But I strongly disagree when you say that nobody owes each other anything. People definitely owe each other an effort to break through the barrier of misunderstanding, no matter if they are senders or receivers of a message. People that make snap judgments about others aren't doing their part in the grand scheme of communication. But like I said before, it's ultimately their loss. The whole point of my post was that I don't make snap judgments, don't think that people should, and that we owe each other everything. I was objecting to people who think it's a one way street. But beyond that immediate barrier of understanding, there may not be what we expect there. Well, it seems like we've made a small hole in our barrier at least. | |
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retina said: 2the9s said: Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything.
Of course it's in everybody's own interest to not be misunderstood. And of course we all make a certain effort to get across, I thought that went without saying. But I strongly disagree when you say that nobody owes each other anything. People definitely owe each other an effort to break through the barrier of misunderstanding, no matter if they are senders or receivers of a message. People that make snap judgments about others aren't doing their part in the grand scheme of communication. But like I said before, it's ultimately their loss. btw, I've made snap judgments about people that I certainly regret, and those judgments were based on other people's views, not getting to know the person, my own limitations etc. But people you have known a while, you know in many different contexts; you see how they interact with others etc...not everybody will get along with everybody. It's really not a big deal. That's what civility is for. | |
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retina said: 2the9s said: The whole point of my post was that I don't make snap judgments, don't think that people should, and that we owe each other everything. I was objecting to people who think it's a one way street. But beyond that immediate barrier of understanding, there may not be what we expect there. Well, it seems like we've made a small hole in our barrier at least. r u 2 now shagging without protection? 2the9s is already gonna b a daddy. | |
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Byron said: A lot of people here always used to think that I had some sort of Org "harem" going...lol...that I was a player collecting women with my special brand of positivity b.s, which they felt was nothing more than memorized phrases from self-help books, no sincerity behind the words at all...nobody would believe that I wasn't carrying on with half the female org population.
That, and that I was a lefthanded asian lesbian. I'm still trying to convince people that one's not true...  I always pictured you as a rightie... | |
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2the9s said: tackam said: See, sorta along the lines of what RED is saying, I think that's a lazy way of approaching it. If somebody intends to be funny or whatever and is consistently taken for something else, it's bullshit to say that they must just actually be that something else (often something along the lines of "insensitive/dumb/inappropriate/bitch"). Intention matters. Some folks think a little differently from others, and certainly humor is incredibly subjective. Trying to get inside the heads of folks whose internal metronome is funked up in whatever way is part of what makes life grand. Dismissing them in a way that is easy to categorize is to miss much. Actually it's self-centered to think that it's up to everyone in the world to see you exactly the way you see yourself (especially when people who have such a fixed "self-vision" are usually massive egoists) and lazy to be unwilling to present yoursef in a way that gets that across. Nobody owes you anything. I think that I am someone who "gets" humor and for the most part "gets" people. And one thing that I "get" about humor is that it's not ONE thing, the way you're implying. It's a form of communication like any other. Humor can be kind, it can be hurtful or passive-aggressive, it can be bourne from insecurity, it can be the way the intelligence works at times, it can be lazy at others, whatever...if people aren't getting your humor or taking it the way you think would be best for your "public persona," it's because you don't care whether they do or not. Or it's because you want them not to get it to prove how humorless they are and how misunderstood you are. I don't dismiss people for having made one bad joke or even for having attacked me one or a few times etc. Also, I NEVER said that by not "getting" someone that they were therefore one thing ("insensitive/dumb/inappropriate/bitch" etc ); I said that in that case the miscommunication was their fault. The rest of the world is not responbsible for how we present ourselves, we are. It's hard because it's important and neccessary. But thanks for calling me lazy. I said I think that approach is lazy. There's a difference. It's nothing personal. I think all of us have people who just don't 'get' us, and one of the most common ways that people don't 'get' me is that they seek implications in my words, when I'm actually saying exactly what I mean (except when I'm being a smartass, in which case I'm saying exactly what I mean but in a smartasstic ((it's a word!!!)) way).
I DON'T think that everybody in the world does or should see me as I do. I think that's impossible, actually. I live inside of me, and nobody else does. And I'm not saying that people SHOULD work to try to get a better understanding. There is no obligation there. I'm saying they're missing out on some of the richness of humanity if they do. People are complicated. Always. I said that humor is subjective. I don't see how that's saying it's just one thing. Basically, you are elaborating on my point there. . . What's important and necessary? Being careful about how we present ourselves? I'm not sure I agree with that, but I'm also not sure it's what you mean. . . Here, if I put one of these at the end of my post, will it come across that I'm not feeling angry or agressive, just discussing a point:  ? | |
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Anji said: tackam, u make a xcellent point.
eye would only add that nspite of 1's ntentions, does there not come a time when 1 must realise that it's 1's own responsibility 2 also understand y 1 is CONsistently b ing perceived n a certain manner? It's up 2 u 2 manage how u r perceived. Not the other way around. love I don't feel a need to "manage" how I'm perceived. As long as I'm being honest and true to myself, I'm fine with however people want to take me. Life isn't a popularity contest. I'm not saying that I never make deliberate choices about how I come across. I certainly do, in the way that I dress, and sometimes in the way that I choose to use language, on top of the actual content of what I say. It's all communication. But if what I communicate is not always understood, that's ok. I'm not CONstantly misunderstood. Lots of people in my life, here and in meatspace (<-- resurrection of an underused term from the 90s! ), get me and think I'm fabulous, even with my rough spots. It's all good.
Here's a little example of where I am (or, TRY to be. . . I'm lazy sometimes too) with this. The way you choose to speak, and in using Princebonics, will cause a lot of people around here to dismiss what you say just 'cause they think it's goofy. Well, if *I* used Princebonics these days, it would be goofy. It doesn't feel like self-expression to me. But I know that there is something about that manner of communicating that resonates with you, probably some connection to an aspect of Prince's communication that you vibe with, and there is a reason, whether you've really thought about it or not, that you choose to echo that quirk of communication. It tells me that there's something interesting about you, a place to dig deeper. Right? Now, should I be telling you to knock it off 'cause lots of people are not going to 'get' it, or stop to think that there IS something to 'get'? No. Eye might tease u a bit, but that's ok,  ? | |
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shanti0608 said: Byron said: A lot of people here always used to think that I had some sort of Org "harem" going...lol...that I was a player collecting women with my special brand of positivity b.s, which they felt was nothing more than memorized phrases from self-help books, no sincerity behind the words at all...nobody would believe that I wasn't carrying on with half the female org population.
That, and that I was a lefthanded asian lesbian. I'm still trying to convince people that one's not true... I always pictured you as a rightie... Thank you...  | |
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2the9s said: This always puzzles me...people saying they are misunderstood, especially people who always have to say "I'm just joking!" or "you don't get me or my sense of humor I'm just bluntly honest."
How many times do you have to be misunderstood by how many different people before you realize it's you!  Amen David! | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: 2the9s said: This always puzzles me...people saying they are misunderstood, especially people who always have to say "I'm just joking!" or "you don't get me or my sense of humor I'm just bluntly honest."
How many times do you have to be misunderstood by how many different people before you realize it's you! Amen David!Karen! Really? "it's you". Meh! I refuse to be told that I am who people say I am. Not to mention the identity crisis that would be caused by the variety of perceptions. | |
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Byron said: shanti0608 said: I always pictured you as a rightie... Thank you... Anytime...  | |
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abierman said: Nero said: You mispelled "jerk" I think. Had you done it properly, your post would've looked like this: "sure, been thinking of you all day.....  "
IDIOT.....gosh..... Yessss....what a great film | |
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tackam said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: Amen David!Karen! Really? "it's you". Meh! I refuse to be told that I am who people say I am. Not to mention the identity crisis that would be caused by the variety of perceptions. that is not what that refers to..... You Dear woman are very cool people... Not to be misunderstood at all... I can't see where people misunderstand you.
. [Edited 7/4/05 12:41pm] | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: tackam said: Karen! Really? "it's you". Meh! I refuse to be told that I am who people say I am. Not to mention the identity crisis that would be caused by the variety of perceptions. that is not what that refers to..... You Dear woman are very cool people... Not to be misunderstood at all... I can't see where people misunderstand you.
There are a few recent examples on this thread.
Which I accept. I just think it's an interesting topic. | |
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You, tackam, I "get."
Let's leave it at that. And if you think I "misunderstand" you, fine. Act that way and leave me the fuck alone. | |
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2the9s said: You, tackam, I "get."
Let's leave it at that. And if you think I "misunderstand" you, fine. Act that way and leave me the fuck alone.  | |
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