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Printablejayaredee said: Then in high school, my best friend was also a closeted gay, and he just stirred up my gay genes like no other person. We'd always be listening to dance music together and admiring Barbra Walters, Cher, Janet and Madonna and other powerful older women.
Amongst other things | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Fleshofmyflesh said: You're gay? I did not know that. yes, i'm gay--came out about 2 months ago. Shocking. Now, does this mean I've got a shot?!   | |
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It was in orgnote, shortly after I received a pic of a man with a hairy back from AsianBomb. 
... [Edited 6/20/05 8:51am] | |
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I was also incredibly lucky. My mom said ok, my dad told my brother that he was relieved that I wouldn't end up pregnant as a teenager and my brother said he fully understood, he loved girls and could totally see why I would as well.  "a poor fool indeed is a man who adopts a manner of thinking for others" | |
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onenitealone said: Cloudbuster said: Another gay thread.
 Now that you've arrived.   | |
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This is a lovely thread, people.
As for me, I told my family about the bisexuality and the polyamory. . .um. . . by email. 
I didn't think it was a big deal! 
I'm insanely lucky to have an openminded, non-religious, loving, wonderful family, and I just honestly didn't think they'd much care as long as I was happy. So, I dropped them a little email after it was obvious that Matt and I had a thing going on. Yeah. Not a great idea. They didn't/don't care about the bi part, but the poly part freaked them out a bit. They are fine now, but in retrospect, telling them in email was idiotic. My extended family knows about the poly bit, but while I haven't tried to hide the bi bit, I don't think it will really register until I actually take a girlfriend around them. I think there are a few people who will be a little uncomfortable about that, but I don't think anybody will be nasty. I'm really lucky. And mad love to those of you who aren't so lucky. It has to be heartbreaking.  | |
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wow -- thanks everyone for sharing your stories!
 http://elmadartista.tumblr.com/ http://twitter.com/madartista | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: It really is interesting to have to think about telling someone from a generation where there was no such thing as acceptance.
I grew up in a religious household and I am the firstborn child of her firstborn and we too shared a special bond. I was very very close with her. A few years after I came out my cousin came out to visit us from Arkansas and when she got here she gave me an envelope that had my name on it written in my grandmothers handwriting. She moved away from California back to Arkansas when I was 12 and therefore we didn't get to see each other very much over the years. This has haunted me really because there is so much that I lost when she left and when she passed in 94 I was devastated, having been involved in my relationship drama I had lost contact with her and her sudden passing really hit me very hard. Anyway so my cousin delivers this letter to me and said "Grandma wanted me to give this to you". I opened the letter and she basically said that she knew that I was gay and that even though she didn't agree with my choice that no matter what she loved me and wanted me to know that she accepts me for whoever I am. I cried so hard  Of all the people in my family she was the one person I was most afraid to tell. And here she is telling me that she accepts me It's funny because the two people I thought would take it the hardest, my grandmother and my cousin who is 3 months younger than I, they took it the best and the two people I thought would never have an issue with it, one cousin who had 8 abortions and another cousin who got pregnant at 12 & 13, they both flipped out. Go figure....
Wow - as heartbreaking as that must have been, I can imagine that must have brought some comfort/closure to you. What an amazing gesture - she must have known how much that would mean to you. Supa, I didn't reply yesterday as - one of the problems of only being able to access the Org in work - is that I'm usually distracted (or p'd off!); it's difficult to articulate what I want to say sometimes when everything's going on around me. But I just wanted to say that, as always, your post was very inspirational. You always accentuate the positive. And that was one reason I told my 'coming out' story - to show that some good can come out of these things. And I identify with a lot of things that you've said. Miguel - good thread! | |
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Cloudbuster said: onenitealone said: Now that you've arrived. 
As for you... 
Come 'ere! | |
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Cloudbuster said: my grandad and i came out together.
when grandma came back from the shops too early.   | |
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TheFrog said: Cloudbuster said: my grandad and i came out together.
when grandma came back from the shops too early. Wtf? | |
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onenitealone said: Come 'ere!
And now you can poke Froggy in the eye with a sharp stick for me. | |
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Cloudbuster said: onenitealone said: Come 'ere!
And now you can poke Froggy in the eye with a sharp stick for me.  | |
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TheFrog said: So when did you come out? | |
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Cloudbuster said: TheFrog said: So when did you come out? eh? | |
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TheFrog said: Cloudbuster said:
And now you can poke Froggy in the eye with a sharp stick for me. My first offer of a poke on the Org. Cheers! 
Anyway, back to the coming out stories... | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Fleshofmyflesh said: You're gay? I did not know that. yes, i'm gay--came out about 2 months ago. Did not know that either. A few comments that you made recently made me think that you might be gay but I wasn't sure. It's great that no-one made a big deal about it. I'll leave graffiti where you've never been kissed | |
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TheFrog said: Cloudbuster said: So when did you come out?
eh? Still waiting for the right time, huh? | |
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onenitealone said: My first offer of a poke on the Org. Cheers!
Anyway, back to the coming out stories... Froggy loves a good poking. | |
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Cloudbuster said: onenitealone said: My first offer of a poke on the Org. Cheers!
Anyway, back to the coming out stories... Froggy loves a good poking. So I gather.  | |
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I came out shortly after my 21st birthday. I was working at a home improvement store and a cashier invited me out one Wednesday (mid December). We ended up at a gay bar on drag night! I couldn't believe it- I was like what am I going to do, how am I going to act? After a few beers I revealed to my friend from work that I was gay- the first time I ever told anyone and boy did I have butterflies when telling her. She said she knew and that she was too! We had a blast drinking and dancing the night away- and being "fresh meat" in the gay bar, I was getting lots of attention. Something that was very new to me.
It was about 3-4 months after this that I told my parents- I had a few puppy love relationships, many new friends and my first real boyfriend. All of which were calling the house- my parents house! One afternoon my mother asked me "who are these people? what's going on?" And that's when I told her that I was gay. She was shocked or at least acted shocked. Told me that they would get me therapy (which never happened). Minutes later my father pulled up in the drive way home for lunch and my mother told me she was going to tell him- I asked her not to. My mother goes into the kitchen, tells my father and he comes into the sunroom and asks me if it's true. I told him yes and he told me I'm "doomed," asks me if I knew what AIDS was and told me that I'm not allowed to bring boyfriends to the house. Which hurt my feelings, but... There was a week of weirdness- my mother swears she never knew, but my father said he always did. I didn't tell my brother until years later, but he was so cool and understanding and didn't care that I was. About they guy I was dating at this time- he was 10 years older than me, my first love, the first guy I had sex with and I really fell hard for him. After two weeks he broke up with me and I was crushed and had never been so depressed. Both of my parents were there to help me through that. Fastforward a decade- they are so cool with it. They accept Drew as part of the family. Drew goes to all the family functions- holidays, birthdays, etc. Last year my parents took my brother and his girlfriend and Drew and I on vacation to Mexico. And we are all going again in about 120 days. My mother and brother both go to Drew's hair salon (my dad shaves his head bald). All's good! Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
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CynthiasSocks said: I came out shortly after my 21st birthday. I was working at a home improvement store and a cashier invited me out one Wednesday (mid December). We ended up at a gay bar on drag night! I couldn't believe it- I was like what am I going to do, how am I going to act? After a few beers I revealed to my friend from work that I was gay- the first time I ever told anyone and boy did I have butterflies when telling her. She said she knew and that she was too! We had a blast drinking and dancing the night away- and being "fresh meat" in the gay bar, I was getting lots of attention. Something that was very new to me.
It was about 3-4 months after this that I told my parents- I had a few puppy love relationships, many new friends and my first real boyfriend. All of which were calling the house- my parents house! One afternoon my mother asked me "who are these people? what's going on?" And that's when I told her that I was gay. She was shocked or at least acted shocked. Told me that they would get me therapy (which never happened). Minutes later my father pulled up in the drive way home for lunch and my mother told me she was going to tell him- I asked her not to. My mother goes into the kitchen, tells my father and he comes into the sunroom and asks me if it's true. I told him yes and he told me I'm "doomed," asks me if I knew what AIDS was and told me that I'm not allowed to bring boyfriends to the house. Which hurt my feelings, but... There was a week of weirdness- my mother swears she never knew, but my father said he always did. I didn't tell my brother until years later, but he was so cool and understanding and didn't care that I was. About they guy I was dating at this time- he was 10 years older than me, my first love, the first guy I had sex with and I really fell hard for him. After two weeks he broke up with me and I was crushed and had never been so depressed. Both of my parents were there to help me through that. Fastforward a decade- they are so cool with it. They accept Drew as part of the family. Drew goes to all the family functions- holidays, birthdays, etc. Last year my parents took my brother and his girlfriend and Drew and I on vacation to Mexico. And we are all going again in about 120 days. My mother and brother both go to Drew's hair salon (my dad shaves his head bald). All's good! It's nice that they came around eventually. My mom told somebody at work that I was gay, and they asked her, "Don't you worry about getting AIDS?" She just told her, "Sure, but no more than I do any of my other sons." She's very smart sometimes.
And I know that feeling of the first time in a gay club. I was SO nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I think I'd seen Cruisin' one too many times. | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: unfortunately my coming-out story ain't too interesting, save for all the "i knew it!"-type remarks i've received so far. and that's awesome that your folks accepted it so well, miguel!
I accept you, so well! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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CynthiasSocks said: I came out shortly after my 21st birthday. I was working at a home improvement store and a cashier invited me out one Wednesday (mid December). We ended up at a gay bar on drag night! I couldn't believe it- I was like what am I going to do, how am I going to act? After a few beers I revealed to my friend from work that I was gay- the first time I ever told anyone and boy did I have butterflies when telling her. She said she knew and that she was too! We had a blast drinking and dancing the night away- and being "fresh meat" in the gay bar, I was getting lots of attention. Something that was very new to me.
It was about 3-4 months after this that I told my parents- I had a few puppy love relationships, many new friends and my first real boyfriend. All of which were calling the house- my parents house! One afternoon my mother asked me "who are these people? what's going on?" And that's when I told her that I was gay. She was shocked or at least acted shocked. Told me that they would get me therapy (which never happened). Minutes later my father pulled up in the drive way home for lunch and my mother told me she was going to tell him- I asked her not to. My mother goes into the kitchen, tells my father and he comes into the sunroom and asks me if it's true. I told him yes and he told me I'm "doomed," asks me if I knew what AIDS was and told me that I'm not allowed to bring boyfriends to the house. Which hurt my feelings, but... There was a week of weirdness- my mother swears she never knew, but my father said he always did. I didn't tell my brother until years later, but he was so cool and understanding and didn't care that I was. About they guy I was dating at this time- he was 10 years older than me, my first love, the first guy I had sex with and I really fell hard for him. After two weeks he broke up with me and I was crushed and had never been so depressed. Both of my parents were there to help me through that. Fastforward a decade- they are so cool with it. They accept Drew as part of the family. Drew goes to all the family functions- holidays, birthdays, etc. Last year my parents took my brother and his girlfriend and Drew and I on vacation to Mexico. And we are all going again in about 120 days. My mother and brother both go to Drew's hair salon (my dad shaves his head bald). All's good!  I wondered if you were ever going to share yours! http://elmadartista.tumblr.com/ http://twitter.com/madartista | |
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jayaredee said: HamsterHuey said: LoL That was the fun thing about In & Out, the movie with Kevin Kline in which he is in denial and tries to be straight and get married to a girl; his friends throw him a bachelor party watching Yentl.
That was basically my life up until now. When i was young i tried to deny it like the plague. I always thought i was sexually attracted to girls when i was like 12 and 13, and i even had a crush on a few. Then i don't know what happened. I just started falling in love with guys. I don't really understand it, but that's what happened. Then in high school, my best friend was also a closeted gay, and he just stirred up my gay genes like no other person. We'd always be listening to dance music together and admiring Barbra Walters, Cher, Janet and Madonna and other powerful older women. Oh dear! KLHK is gonna kick your butt! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: jayaredee said:
That was basically my life up until now. When i was young i tried to deny it like the plague. I always thought i was sexually attracted to girls when i was like 12 and 13, and i even had a crush on a few. Then i don't know what happened. I just started falling in love with guys. I don't really understand it, but that's what happened. Then in high school, my best friend was also a closeted gay, and he just stirred up my gay genes like no other person. We'd always be listening to dance music together and admiring Barbra Walters, Cher, Janet and Madonna and other powerful older women. Oh dear! KLHK is gonna kick your butt! Why? | |
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jayaredee said: sag10 said: Oh dear! KLHK is gonna kick your butt! Why? Aren't you and her in love? ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: jayaredee said: Why? Aren't you and her in love? take a peek at my sig | |
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jayaredee said: sag10 said: Aren't you and her in love? take a peek at my sig That is adorable... she is a good lady! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: True story: I came to be at peace with myself when I came to the Org and 'met' this guy Supa. He became a gay super hero to me and helped me to become comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful to him. I hate that I can't share this part of my life with my family, who for the most part are homophobic because I know some truly beautiful people now. I remember my grandmother wanting to kick me out of the house because I wanted my gay best friend to babysit my son.
 I still can't believe to this day that I share the same DNA with these people.
Stymie, you and I will always have a special connection. You don't know how important it is for me to hear this. Just as I helped to lead you to a place of peace, you helped to lead me to a place in my life where I realize the importance of standing up for myself, my brothers and sisters. Most of us are conditioned by society to believe the worst about ourselves and I came to realize and know the best in myself and that is what I want for all of us. There is no valid reason that we should be ostracized from our own lives. I hope one day that you can make peace with your family. However it may never come. Hell, it's been 17 years and my mother still wont talk honestly about my life. Family goes beyond blood lines, it goes to the soul. We are family  You couldn't be any more my sister if you came out of the same womb. You are a light in this world and I love that you shine regardless of the storms. 
onenitealone said: Supa, I didn't reply yesterday as - one of the problems of only being able to access the Org in work - is that I'm usually distracted (or p'd off!); it's difficult to articulate what I want to say sometimes when everything's going on around me. But I just wanted to say that, as always, your post was very inspirational. You always accentuate the positive. And that was one reason I told my 'coming out' story - to show that some good can come out of these things. And I identify with a lot of things that you've said. I'm glad you were inspired It's probably the best reason to be out and open and proud of who you are. To inspire that pride in others. I'm glad you shared That line from your grandmother about being a lesbian!  What a great woman
To everyone else who's paid me wonderful compliments, thank you I didn't realize that people thought of me as a hero. That inspires me even more 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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