Thanks again for sharing all these stories. They are heartbreaking and hearwarming and so very beautiful. Keep them coming.....did we run out of homosexuals?


M

Alright. So I was 20 and horribly depressed. I had moved back to Denver after running out of money to continue school in Boston. My mom had breast cancer and the prognosis was that it would come back as bone cancer. I started to see a therapist because I was miserable. After a couple of sessions, the therapist decided I was clinically depressed and needed to be on Prozac. She sent me to a psychiatrist for a medical diagnosis to get the prescription. I talked to the psychiatrist for about an hour and she concurred that I needed medication. That then entailed a long list of questions. About halfway through the list, "Are you gay?" was asked. And I said, "Yes."



I'd never said it before, or talked to anyone about it. I knew, of course, but it had been so repressed, that I was surprised when I said it out loud.

Anyway, that night my parents asked me how my doctor's appointment went, and I told them. They said that they didn't really know what that meant for me and my life, but that I was their son and they loved me no matter what. We all cried together. Then my mom asked me if that was why I didn't go to church anymore!

I slowly told my extended family. It has actually been a very long process for me. And a good one.

Thanks for asking!

You guys

Without going into personal/boring details, I've only ever had to come out to one family member. My mates all had 'the conversation', of course, and many had guessed before I told them. As for my family, I haven't spoken to my father or brother for about 14 years, I hardly see my sister and the relationship with my mother - who was my idol growing up - has been affected by my fall-out with my father. Consequently we hardly talk and it's not something I'm about to bring up in a hurry. But they all know; it's just not something I have to say. Anyone who matters to me knows, so no big deal.

Anyway, I've only ever had one grandparent - my mother's mother. She was everything you could possibly want in a 'Gran' - wise, kind, loving, funny, protective. And, as the youngest of nine grandchildren (by her youngest child), we shared a special affinity. Nobody came between us.

I'd probably been 'out' for about 3 or 4 years before I told her. As even my mother & father didn't know, I wasn't sure if it was wise to say anything. We had such a fantastic relationship, it had never been an issue before and - as the saying goes - "what they don't know won't hurt them'. Plus, she was 91 at the time - would she even understand? But the more I tried to ignore it, the more I felt I was holding something back from her. I felt a fraud keeping something so integral to my being from one of the most important people in my life.

So I took the plunge..

Well, it took several attempts (!) because my Gran was VERY hard of hearing but eventually I told her "I'm gay". Tears were welling up; I was absolutely terrified that she would disown me or that I would repulse her. I sdidn't want her to change the way she thought of me, I told her.

Her response was a warm smile and she replied: "Of course I love you, I always will. And, anyway, who's to say that I'm not a lesbian after all these years??". She was kidding, but what an AMAZING thing to stay.

We hugged, I left and I felt a million dollars better. And I am so glad that I told her. She only lived for another 3 years. But that conversation made an already amazing relationship even better. I was very lucky to have her.

i came out at qround 21 to my oldest brother in his car. he kept asking me why i was so miserable all the time. "is it your job? is it living at home? is it girls?" "well..." long silence. "is it girls?" he repeated. "nearly..." stumbling on the word, while staring out of the passenger window. "do you fancy women?". no answer, which any straight man would have said yes to immediately. so the answer was given in my silence. to confirm he said "do you fancy men?" and i said yes, as the tears started to pour out.

the car stopped and i got out and ran away down the back alley (no pun) of some houses, ashamed. i couldnt face him. he was shouting for me and i slowly made my way back to his car after 20 minutes. we went to his house and cried into loads of tissues, while words of comfort and support came from my brother and his wife.

what a load off my shoulders. a new path emerged in my mind for the direction of my life from this night. the secret was out and i felt quite nervous at the consequences with well meaning words of the news being shared within the family.

he gave me the confidence to approach my parents. my mother took it bad, as i expected, as she always was antigay in her comments and had some bible knowledge, which none of her 5 children had continued. she kept saying that i dont know whether that i was gay and proceeded by getting 'how to know if your child is gay?' from the library. my dad just said 'you know its difficult for me, living with a gay man', to which i was very annoyed because i thought that 'YOU, created me and now you reject me?' things settled down after a while and everybody accepts me, even my mother who has since apologised for the antigay stuff in my childhood.

When I was 16 I came out, after having been in the closet since I was 13. I was just totally averse to the rolemodels forced on me, I needed to settle things first. My grand-uncle was a great help in this search, as I spent some summers in his abbey and had studied the bible, torah and koran under his tutelage.

I was a very confused teenager, but he helped me sort out my religeous questions and in that way also helped me settle my problems with being gay, without it ever being discussed. I am sure he knew, though.

First I told three people in school, two girls and one guy. It was the day I left school midterm cuz I had finally figured things out. It was a sort of test case for telling my family.

The first girl was interested cuz I seemed interesting, the guy raised his eyebrows, cuz I knew he was gay too and the second girl was totally not interested. To her it did not matter I was ga. i was drawn to her. They became my test case by accident, as the second girl was in the principals office at the same time as I to say she was leaving school too. We became friends fast.

Anyways. I came home and just told my mom over coffee. She looked at me, I was kinda nervous, I think and she just said 'Oh, I knew THAT from when you were three. I had bets going on you.'

That kind of shocked me. Had I been so obvious? Hehehe. I asked why she never told me. She said it was something for ME to discover and she was SO right.

My brother took it in very calmy. I don't think I ever actually TOLD him. Both my sisters I told personally, the eldest said "Oh, that explains!" and my youngest sis just wanted to know if I was sure. She thought I was a bit too young.

Hehehe.
My family was able to get used to it slowly. Lots of gays don;t understand that when you tell your family, you might be okay with it, but your family has to re-aquaint themselves with you... esp my sisters had to get used to me bringing men to the house. Or just hearing me talk about guys. I think it took them about a few years to get used to it.

I didn't come out to my family until I was about 24 and there are still friends of mine that I have not told to this day and I'm about to turn 36. I think they know, I'm not a reall girly girl in the first place. I have three sisters and we were all on the phone together and I told them that there was a woman I as falling for and it was important for me that they meet her. The oldest and youngest told me that they didn't want to meet her and that they would pray for me/pray it off of me. The sister next to me is also bisexual and I felt for her cuz I knew she could never come out to them now. That day filled me with such a guilt and shame that I started dating guys only. For the most part, I was absolutely miserable, convincing myself that bisexuality was wrong and God was ashamed of me.

True story: I came to be at peace with myself when I came to the Org and 'met' this guy Supa. He became a gay super hero to me and helped me to become comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful to him. I hate that I can't share this part of my life with my family, who for the most part are homophobic because I know some truly beautiful people now. I remember my grandmother wanting to kick me out of the house because I wanted my gay best friend to babysit my son. I still can't believe to this day that I share the same DNA with these people.

Supa. gay super hero.

Supa is my hero!!!

he has yet to come see me when i'm in LA though.


I came out on accident.

I had moved from Kansas City to San Diego to go to school. And i had gotten in happen of turning my ScreenName on AOL off so it wouldn't show up on people's buddy lists. It was late in SD like around 1 or 2am so i didn't think about doing it that time. Just a few minutes after i logged into a SDm4m chat, someone back home IMmed me asked me why i was in that room. Why people i hadn't talked to since graduation were checking where i was online when i was at college still baffles me. after that it snowballed and my brother found out.

i haven't come out yet

Cyn, why don't you tell us you're coming out story? I have no idea what happened to you. And I'm not a lesbian, so I guess there's no story to tell. LOL

Tish4 said:

yeah,I wanted to ask him that too


welllll?

I didn't come out to my family until I was about 24 and there are still friends of mine that I have not told to this day and I'm about to turn 36. I think they know, I'm not a reall girly girl in the first place. I have three sisters and we were all on the phone together and I told them that there was a woman I as falling for and it was important for me that they meet her. The oldest and youngest told me that they didn't want to meet her and that they would pray for me/pray it off of me. The sister next to me is also bisexual and I felt for her cuz I knew she could never come out to them now. That day filled me with such a guilt and shame that I started dating guys only. For the most part, I was absolutely miserable, convincing myself that bisexuality was wrong and God was ashamed of me.

True story: I came to be at peace with myself when I came to the Org and 'met' this guy Supa. He became a gay super hero to me and helped me to become comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful to him. I hate that I can't share this part of my life with my family, who for the most part are homophobic because I know some truly beautiful people now. I remember my grandmother wanting to kick me out of the house because I wanted my gay best friend to babysit my son. I still can't believe to this day that I share the same DNA with these people.

I didn't come out to my family until I was about 24 and there are still friends of mine that I have not told to this day and I'm about to turn 36. I think they know, I'm not a reall girly girl in the first place. I have three sisters and we were all on the phone together and I told them that there was a woman I as falling for and it was important for me that they meet her. The oldest and youngest told me that they didn't want to meet her and that they would pray for me/pray it off of me. The sister next to me is also bisexual and I felt for her cuz I knew she could never come out to them now. That day filled me with such a guilt and shame that I started dating guys only. For the most part, I was absolutely miserable, convincing myself that bisexuality was wrong and God was ashamed of me.

True story: I came to be at peace with myself when I came to the Org and 'met' this guy Supa. He became a gay super hero to me and helped me to become comfortable in my own skin. I am so grateful to him. I hate that I can't share this part of my life with my family, who for the most part are homophobic because I know some truly beautiful people now. I remember my grandmother wanting to kick me out of the house because I wanted my gay best friend to babysit my son. I still can't believe to this day that I share the same DNA with these people.

My coming out story

I told everyone i was a Madonna fan and that she was my idol.

That's all i needed to say and the pieces fell together.

jayaredee said:

LoL

That was the fun thing about In & Out, the movie with Kevin Kline in which he is in denial and tries to be straight and get married to a girl; his friends throw him a bachelor party watching Yentl.

Another gay thread.