...so yesterday was Father's Day and we went to my folks' house for a cookout.
My Dad is 69. He's dealing with prostate cancer, heart disease, arthritis, and macular degeneration. (Yet he NEVER complains and is the funniest and warmest person and the absolute life of the party.)
But he's grilling hamburgers, which has NEVER been his strong suit, even when he could see, but now with his declining vision he's trying to flip the burgers way before they are ready, so they're falling apart, and he's taking them off the grill before they are cooked. We're trying to find a polite way to ask him to cook them a little longer, without hurting his feelings, of course.

Later on we're inside discussing books and my Dad says, "That's what I miss the most ... being able to read." It was heartbraking.

It is so painful to watch your parents age. I just thank God they are still here and I try to help out and spend time and take advantage of every moment I'm with them. But it hurts sometimes.

my parents are in their mid 70's

Steadwood said:

I'll take that, thanks.

Mach said:

Thanks, Hun.
Are they healthy ?

I sat watching my parents yesterday and most days with such a deep feeling of regret....

My parents and I don't have a good relationship, i can only think of one accassion ever where my dad has told me he loves me...

i watch them daily drinking into oblivion, my mom isn't even 50 my dad is 55

i feel i won't have them for much longer

I know they are unhappy

I try to change them, it's pointless

never the less i love them lots and wish something would change

some magic wand would make them healthy and younger



i guess this is why i give my time to an alcohol and drug charity

I am very fortunate. My mom is 82 and very healthy, very aware, very active.

I can only hope that I am like her as I go forward n life.

I trip out so hard when I look at my mother.....and see my grandmother We're all on the train and eventually we all get old If only youth were eternal. Imagine having your 35 year old mind in an 18 year old body

Fleshofmyflesh said:

my dad has abad back from pro golfing for yrs and yrs and mentally well

my mom is physically well and has alzheimers

Mach said:

Wow, that can't be easy.
You amaze me everyday, Lady!

Fleshofmyflesh said:

it isnt easy for us the caregivers...specially my dad ...the meds she is on are costly and for now have at least slowed the process...

she is active and can take care of herself she just forgets alot and has delusional thoughts...and scattered ones

its tiring ...repettive and an incredible experience...i try to stay positive and supportive but there are moments i feel scared and so helpless

Fleshofmyflesh said:

to you and yours

My mom will be 44 in August. Ive got a young mom.

dreamfactory313 said:

mine is 42




When I look at her, she looks good, but I think of her passing, and me right behind.

I wish I could, my dad died when he was 38 and my mom when she was 50

It is very heartbreaking. My parents are 73 & 71. My dad is in very good shape for his age. He has a bit of a hearing problem but it's not too bad and he suffers from a bad back and sore knees once in a while. My mom is not in good shape at all. She has a very severe case of Crohns disease. She has lost her large bowel because of it, along with other severe side effects. She has rhuematoid arthritis and a skin tissue disease that is rotting her tissue from the inside out. She also has skin cancer. She's in a wheelchair and can barely walk to the bathroom herself. She's also in a lot of pain. I don't know how she gets up every morning. To be honest, I don't think I could handle all the pain she's in. I give her a lot of credit. Most days she's in pretty good spirits, but when she's not I completely understand why.

It sounds so corny, but ones health is the most important thing. Those that abuse their bodies now will likely pay for it in their later years. For example, my mom spent a lot of time in the sun with no protection. She always looked great with her tan, but now she's paying for that. She also took a lot of laxatives and they are the worse thing anyone can take. They will eventually ruin your bowels. Word of advice.....stay out of the sun and don't take laxatives!!

AndGodCreatedMe said:

sorry to hear that,

That's so hard.


We spent Father's Day with my parents and maternal grandparents. My parents are in their 50s and doing ok, but I know that their health is unlikely to get anything but worse at this point, and it's scary. And my grandparents. . . my grandfather is beginning to suffer from dementia and other problems, and it is really painful to watch. His cars have always been his pride and joy, and the family finally convinced him that he really couldn't drive anymore, because he was getting lost. And just simple things. . . watching him try to unlock a door and struggle with it. . . man.

What can we do? It's part of life, I guess.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Isn't that what you have, Supa?

My father died years ago from prostate cancer. It look him out in less than 3 months. He was my favorite person in the whole world, he was and still is my hero even though I knew he was not perfect.

My mom has Macular Degeneration and Alzheimer's, She has accepted her vision condition but will not accept she has a severe memory problem.

It can be difficult going from being a child to parenting your parents reminds me of the old saying.....

"Once a man twice a baby"

I don't feel sorry for myself or them they have both lived a full wonderful life. And I intend to take care of my Mom just like we took care our Dad.. at home till the day he died. I just wanted to share with others I know how difficult having a parent with these severe health issues ...

CinisterCee said:

Little by little age creeps up, even on me

I understand exactly what you're saying and do feel for you.

My father is now 71 and still very active although his mind isn't as quick as it used to be. I do feel for him when the rest of the family get frustrated with him because it must be awful to feel that happening to you.

The relationship does gradually change over time, from being their child to parenting your parents. I just pray that I will be able to fulfill that role without letting either of them lose their dignity.

Mach said:

My mom has alzheimers too.
My father has heart problems, diabetes, colon problems, and a touch of senility.