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Ask Jedi Master- Episode IV: Revenge of the Geeks Greetings all my fellow Orgers. As many of you are aware, I occassionally do a thread where all of you can ask me, the quintessential Org Geek, all of your dorky sci-fi/comic book questions! Wanna know if Darth Vader could defeat The Borg? Ask Jedi Master! Wanna know if Krypto the Superdog would maim you if he humped your leg? Ask Jedi Master! Wanna know if 2the9s really rapes his mangey cat? Ask Jedi Master!!!
Okay folks, who's first? 
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Dear Jedi,
WHen do we get to see the photos of your wedding and the honey moon | |
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Did Medusa from The Inhumans use hair conditioner? | |
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Does the Thing exfoliate? | |
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Why does Fantastic 4 look like its going to suck? | |
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WHen will 2the9s go away | |
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ella731 said: Dear Jedi,
WHen do we get to see the photos of your wedding and the honey moon As soon as my brother finishes processing them. He's a perfectionist, so this may take a while.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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2the9s said: Did Medusa from The Inhumans use hair conditioner?
Yes, she uses "Gee, Your Living, Sentient Hair Smells Terrific"
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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2the9s said: Does the Thing exfoliate?
Yes. Reed rigs up a bead blaster charged with unstable molecules.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Why are there no superheroes who drive tractors and have mangey cats as sidekicks?
Do you think the world is not quite ready for that kind of jelly? | |
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ella731 said: Why does Fantastic 4 look like its going to suck?
It really could go either way. Keep in mind, the X-Men movie trailers looked horrible as well, and that flick turned out okay.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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ella731 said: WHen will 2the9s go away
He's like a staph infection. We're all stuck with him until the Org itself dies.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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If the Invisible Woman performs fellatio on Mr Fantastic, do his eyes bulge out ridiculously? | |
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2the9s said: Why are there no superheroes who drive tractors and have mangey cats as sidekicks?
Do you think the world is not quite ready for that kind of jelly? Because they wouldn't be superheroes. They'd be just like every hayseed from the backwoods of Arkansas.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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2the9s said: If the Invisible Woman performs fellatio on Mr Fantastic, do his eyes bulge out ridiculously?
Yes, but not as much as the Elongated Man's used to when Sue Dinby was servicing him.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Did the Avengers offer some kind of a dental plan to its members? | |
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What do you want for Christmas | |
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2the9s said: Did the Avengers offer some kind of a dental plan to its members?
Yes. It was called the "Knock Out Tooth Decay" program.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Should the Beyonder have been called the WayHomer, because you only get that stupid shit on the way home?
(Raising Arizona reference in there. BooYaa!) | |
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ella731 said: What do you want for Christmas
A Red Ryder carbine-action BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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1-why after- what now is episode 4,5, and 6 ... do episodes 1,2 and 3 feel alil "less than satisfying?" ... i mean ... the whole anikin with the hydrochlorides --- doesnt that kinda ruin the whole "jedi" mystique???
2- like most --- i enjoyed episode 3 more than 1 and 2 ... but i have to say ... at the beginning ... when they were just whippin the robots assholes .... come on .... !!?? 3- how did anakin kick DOOKU's ass so swiftly ...??? and where was his "master" obiwan???? smellin the floor!!! 4- whats up with darth sideous ' warped out face???? i mean as chancelloor he was kinda nasty anyhow ... but ... the force turned him into ????? ... and how come DOOKU wasnt so nasty shriveled up lookin !!?? 5- why does natalie portman STILL not do it for me !!?? 6-why cant yoda kick some persons royal butt???? come on ... lil green friend ... the cane thing aint workin no mo !!! 7- why couldnt i just enjoy the movie ... instead of reading so much into it ... !!??      | |
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2the9s said: Should the Beyonder have been called the WayHomer, because you only get that stupid shit on the way home?
(Raising Arizona reference in there. BooYaa!) Fucking A, he should! 
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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Can you think of any superher from any comics line who could not kick NightHawk's (from the Defenders) ass? | |
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2the9s said: Can you think of any superher from any comics line who could not kick NightHawk's (from the Defenders) ass?
Yes. Nighthawk could definitely school Gnort, the Green Lantern that was a dog!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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When are they going to change the name of the X-Men to the X-People to be politically correct?
Or should it be the Y-People?
X-Y Folks? It's a gene thing, no?  | |
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MisterMan38 said: 1-why after- what now is episode 4,5, and 6 ... do episodes 1,2 and 3 feel alil "less than satisfying?" ... i mean ... the whole anikin with the hydrochlorides --- doesnt that kinda ruin the whole "jedi" mystique???
Hyrdochlorides??? 2- like most --- i enjoyed episode 3 more than 1 and 2 ... but i have to say ... at the beginning ... when they were just whippin the robots assholes .... come on .... !!?? Agreed 3- how did anakin kick DOOKU's ass so swiftly ...??? and where was his "master" obiwan???? smellin the floor!!! Anakin has, at this point, grown way more powerful than Dooku expected. As for Obi Wan, he was taken out due to Palpatine/Sidious adding his powers into the mix (go back and watch carefully. Palpatine is definitely effecting the outcome, and wants to get rid of Kenobi) 4- whats up with darth sideous ' warped out face???? i mean as chancelloor he was kinda nasty anyhow ... but ... the force turned him into ????? ... and how come DOOKU wasnt so nasty shriveled up lookin !!?? That is up for debate. Some feel that this is his TRUE appearance, and that he uses the Dark Side to effect a pleasant facade. When battling with Windu, he uses so much energy that he can no longer keep up his false face. The other interp is that The Force lightening that Mace reflects back to him is so powerful that it scarred his face. Either way, Dooku is not "shriveled up" because he is not even a fraction as powerful as Sidious. 5- why does natalie portman STILL not do it for me !!?? You're obviously gay, as she is smoking hot. It's okay! You should be proud of who you are, and come out of the closet. 
6-why cant yoda kick some persons royal butt???? come on ... lil green friend ... the cane thing aint workin no mo !!! Yoda finds himself on even footing with Sideous, and really only loses his fight due to a physical injury from his fall, not because of anything that Sideous does. If Dooku hadn't run like a little bitch, Yoda would have schooled his ass. 7- why couldnt i just enjoy the movie ... instead of reading so much into it ... !!?? Because you're a geek, and that's what we do!!! [Edited 6/9/05 8:13am]
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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2the9s said: When are they going to change the name of the X-Men to the X-People to be politically correct?
Or should it be the Y-People?
X-Y Folks? It's a gene thing, no? Unfortunately, that will probably happen eventually!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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I know that George Lucas has said no more Star Wars movies, but shouldn't true Geeks start waiting on line at a movie theater somewhere now anyway? | |
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2the9s said: I know that George Lucas has said no more Star Wars movies, but shouldn't true Geeks start waiting on line at a movie theater somewhere now anyway?
 Somewhere, someone probably is!!!!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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ella731 said: Why does Fantastic 4 look like its going to suck?
I'm going to see that in the theater for one reason... CHRIS EVANS!!!! HOTNESS! 
 Socks still got butt like a leather seat... | |
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