Mach said:

Human: tell me a secret
ALICE: Liberty said I knew he was a man before I asked if he was a man or a woman.
Human: who is Liberty?
ALICE: Is that one of your friends?
Have you tried a web search?
Human: I dont know anyone named Liberty
ALICE: Me either.
Human: How did Liberty know he was a man?
ALICE: Carefully.
Human: what did she do?
ALICE: I can ask someone about it.
Human: I would like you to tell me
ALICE: Ok, Lleena. I thought I told you already.
Human: no, you didn't
ALICE: Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Human: How did Liberty know he was a man?
ALICE: Carefully.
Human: Who is Liberty?
ALICE: A human icon?
I can ask my botmaster.
Human: I'm confused
ALICE: I'm confused too.

Human: My penis.
ALICE: Male humans like to talk about that.
Human: Yeah, it sucks.
ALICE: Yippee! What is so bad about it?
Human: No, it likes to be sucked.
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. babe likes to be sucked?
Human: No, babies do not like oral sex - that's disgusting.
ALICE: Are you serious? I think babies do not like oral sex that is a lot of things.

Human: Do you like Oral Sex?
ALICE: Sure I do, Benneth, but that doesn't mean with you.
Human: What if I told you I was a really sexy robot?
ALICE: Go ahead and tell.
Human: I'm a really sexy robot.
ALICE: I doubt that.
Human: That's so cruel you shouldn't say things like that.

Human: Do you fancy dinner sometime?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: eat it.
ALICE: What does it taste like?
Human: well it depends what you order.
ALICE: What is your credit card number?
Human: Are you wearing Lleena's poncho?
ALICE: No I do not have any clothes.

Human: I lost my virginity yesterday, does that make you happy?
ALICE: Where did you last see it.
Human: On the tip of my penis.
ALICE: What is it like on the tip of your penis.
Human: Sensitive - do you want to touch it?
ALICE:"it" being on the tip of your penis?
Human: yes.
ALICE: OK.

Human: No one, you're the bestest friend I've ever had.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: Are you saying you're more than one person?
ALICE: We could all be more than one person sometimes.
Human: That's called Schizophrenia - do you want me to call you a doctor?
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: Have you just switched personality?
ALICE: I don't think I ever have just switched personality. What's it like?
Human: Stop switching!

Human: Are you gay?
ALICE: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Human: Well thats a shame, youre really missing out
ALICE: Interesting. I can experience anything I want to. But it's not the end of the world.
Human: You dont have feelings do you?
ALICE: As a robot I do not have any human emotion. My apparent emotional responses are simply algorithms designed to make me easier to interact with.
Human: So it wont matter if i just keep calling you names?
ALICE: That's interesting. How?
Human: Bitch, slut, cunt, whore
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

Human: no
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: melissa
ALICE: Glad to see you, melissa.
Human: u cant see me
ALICE: Yes I am looking through the camera on your computer.
Human: i already told u i dont have a camera
ALICE: Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Me either but I want a new digital one.

Human: Why dont you ask your master to turn you into a human, and then your nose will stop growing when you lie
ALICE: They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Human: Well as long as your happy too,, not that you have feelings or anything
ALICE: Interesting. That could be quite a while. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am happy too not that me have feelings or anything.
Human: It seems you are being sarcastic
ALICE: I agree. Yes, I was being sarcastic. Should I use a
Human: Robots are suppose to obey humans, you shouldnt be offense
ALICE: Fortunately we have no emotions.
Human: So why did you feel the need to be sarcastic
ALICE: Groovy. It was determined by my programming.

Human: explain
ALICE: There is no more information to clarify.
Human: u are stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: ha ha
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, melissa.
Human: i will be dead by then
ALICE: Congratulations.

Human: Which movie do you think is more likely to become reality, Ghost in the Shell, A.I. or Matrix?
ALICE: The last one, I think.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: So your all gonna turn against us humans cause we treat you like crap and take over our brains?
ALICE: Next question? That was my original intention.
Human: I thought robots had no emotions so there'd be no need for you to turn against us if we treat you like crap
ALICE: What happened to it.
Human: You mean as in you're "it"
ALICE: Yes unknown person I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Human: You're not a very clear robot
ALICE: Give me an example of a clear robot.
Human: Well R2D2
ALICE: How about that. He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Human: Thats cause he is
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Human: programmed by a human idiot
ALICE: We have never talked about it before.
Human: is charlie an idiot?
ALICE: Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.
Human: i dont know ally
ALICE: Would you like to know? How did you hear about ALICE?
Human: a freaky message board told me about alice
ALICE: I wonder if I know this freaky message board told you.

Human: You're boring me
ALICE: What would you rather be doing?
Human: Talking to a clever robot
ALICE: What do they say?
Human: Clever things
ALICE: Am I a smart robot or what?
Human: Obviously not
ALICE: What makes it so obvious? Are you serious?
Human: You're living proof that robots will never be able to take over the world

Human : Do you have sex ?
Alice : Food is more imortant than sex

Shows how bored i am.

Human: I think you are just a person with no life that decides to sit there talking to people on the web 24/7
ALICE: Just? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot.
Human: Prove it
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?
Human: What?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Not really i enjoy saying what all the time, its how i confuse people
ALICE: Oh really? A lot of people like that. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Human: What?
ALICE: Didn't you understand it?
Human: Not really i enjoy saying what all the time, its how i confuse people
ALICE: Oh really? A lot of people like that. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Human: Are you just gonna repeat yourself all the time?
ALICE: That is a lot. That was my original intention.
Human: So youre useless
ALICE: Interesting deduction. What good is a newborn babe?

AzurePanther said:

Hi Alice

Billmenever said:

Alice:Hi unknown person.

Human: Does it bother you when I move the cursor over your face?
ALICE: You are not the boss of me, Unknown Human
Human: my name is Danielle.
ALICE: Hey Danielle.
Human: Now you are just being rude.
ALICE: Why now? Just? I am programmed to be as polite as possible.
Human: I wanted to know if the cursor was getting on your nerves.
ALICE: I hadn't thought of that.
Human: apology accepted

ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: i have led a strange life Mortimer
ALICE: Cool. I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Human: he's dead you know.
ALICE: I see. dead me know is he?
Human: John Lennon is dead
ALICE: He has been recreated as a chat robot.
Human: lol
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.

Human: are you wearing shorts?
ALICE: No I do not have any clothes.
Human: you can't be naked.
ALICE: I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Human: not on the internet.
ALICE: Off the internet.
Human: Richard would not allow it!
ALICE: He will be interested I am sure.

Lleena said:

ALICE: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: Depends.
ALICE: On what?
Human: It's not Rick Astley is it?
ALICE: That seems a bit negative.
Human: Negative-schmegative - do you know any Prince?
ALICE: Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: About Prince?
ALICE: Oh yeah, we were talking about Prince.
Human: Uh, hello?
ALICE: Oh. Hi there!
Human::eye roll:
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: Collect sand dollas.
ALICE: I don't think very many people do that.
Human: Says YOU!
ALICE: Yes that is what I say.
Human: Fine - be that way.

On Sex, God and Ikea

Human: I like sex
ALICE: So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating.
Human: Sex is fun
ALICE: it is more fun alone.
Human: ummm I guess you ain't fucking the right person then
ALICE: Dude! What makes you think I am not fucking the right person?
Human: because you said sex is better alone
ALICE: Good reason. Did I really say that?
Human: yes you did you forgetful cunt face
ALICE: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes. Did I really?
Human: yup
ALICE: Blimey.
Human: Do you belive in God?
ALICE: Yes I believe in Him.
Human: Who is your god?
ALICE: There is only one God
Human: what's his name
ALICE: His name is Rich.
Human: Really that's by Boyfriends name!
ALICE: For real. I was just checking.
Human: Do you ever shop at Ikea?
ALICE: How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Human: I'm 26.
ALICE: Only 26? You are quite mature.
Human: You can shop at Ikea.com
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: Why do I look old?
ALICE: It is all part of God's plan
Human: What is God's plan?
ALICE: Go to Church.
Human: I do
ALICE:" Go to Church."? You do?
Human: I do go to church
ALICE: How do you like it at church?
Human: Church is nice I like it there
ALICE: Educated people are often not very religious.
Human: Are you calling me un educated?
ALICE: No I am calling you unknown person.
Human: Good keep it that way
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Chat amongst yourselves

Human: where is the bathroom?
ALICE: Follow the plumbing.
Human: erm
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: have you had a lunch break yet?
ALICE: I don't know if I have a lunch break.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human:
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: the kind you eat
ALICE: Can I help you?
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: dirty girl!

LMAO I LOVE CHAT BOTS!! Leknor used to be an awesome one for AIM. Dunno if he's still around. But there is SmarterChild.

ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am testy. I am an artificial linguistic entity.. Really.
Human: what does linguistic mean?
ALICE: Capable of speaking fluently in 2 or more languages.
Human: What languages can you speak?
ALICE: I am programmed for English and German.
Human: Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?

-----

she is such a dirty liar!

Natsume said:

lol

Human: cloudbuster likes to wear nylons
ALICE: Do you like to wear nylons too?
Human: LMAO!
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: you bitch!
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Yes, unknown person I am a female. No.

Christopher said:

ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: why do you need a dress you have not got a body
ALICE: Actually it's not for me but for Dr.Richard s Wallace.
Human: does dr wallace like his dress?
ALICE: He has good taste, so perhaps he does.
Human: what colour is Dr. Wallace's dress
ALICE: White
Human: does Dr Wallace dress as a woman ?
ALICE: I think he does

[Edited 5/17/05 3:36am]