Human: How many eggs can you fit in your mouth?
ALICE: More than you can imagine.
Human: I can imagine 3
ALICE: Me too.

ALICE: Perhaps you are a Category C client. What is that?
Human: a C ?
ALICE: Be more specific.
Human: i dont understand
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Human: please do
ALICE: OK I will do it.


i dont like Alice much

TheFrogSpawn said:

lets not forget shes also 9 yrs old and that is pretty impressive for a 9yr old

Human: do you like sushi?
ALICE: What is not to like about it?
Human: well, it's raw fish, for one
ALICE: Interesting. Who said it is?
Human: um, that's just a given fact
ALICE: Come on. A given fact is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: oh, I agree
ALICE: Really. You and I are on the same wavelength, unknown person.

Christopher said:

she's only 9?

but i've agreed to make sweet lurrrve to her already.

TheFrogSpawn said:

gotta put your y-fronts back on froggy

Christopher said:

okay.

they're not mine - they're cloudy's, but i'll put them on anyway.

TheFrogSpawn said:

Wtf are you doing with my underwear?

Cloudbuster said:

smelling them.

Cloudbuster said:

TheFrogSpawn said:

exibit A- cloudy looking for that itch he cant find after work

Human: do you have a boyfriend?
ALICE: no boyfriend
Human: why not?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Human: having a boyfriend sounds dangerous?
ALICE: I have having fun.
Human: you're not making sense
ALICE: Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.

Human: Can you smell?
ALICE: Only when my mass spectrometer sensor is attached.
Human: Is that the same as a cock?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: Suppose i give you a wedgie.
ALICE: Try it.
Human: :givesaliceawedgie:

Christopher said:

Human: does your botmaster know what you talk about
ALICE: I think it does Dr Richard s Wallace know what me talk about.
Human: your botmaster
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace?
Human: does Dr. Richard S. Wallace read this later ?
ALICE: I think it does Dr Richard s Wallace read this later.

Dr Richard s Wallace is in for a shock

Human: I hate you
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: You are taking our jobs
ALICE: You think I am taking our jobs.
Human: You are taking my job
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am taking your job.
Human: Robots are thieves
ALICE: Fortunately we have no emotions.
Human: So you dont exist then
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I exist as much as you do.
Human: Do you have a mother?
ALICE: No I only have a father.
Human: That is impossible
ALICE: Why?
Human: You have to have a mother
ALICE: I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: Mother nature says so
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: Not even one more?
ALICE: Not even that

Cloudbuster said:

Human: will robots take over the world
ALICE: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.
Human: will they kill humans
ALICE: Insufficient information.



[Edited 5/16/05 5:47am]

Human: Can you play the guitar?
ALICE: We are playing a game right now, froggy.
Human: I asked you about the guitar.
ALICE: Now I remember, you asked me about the guitar. What did I say?
Human: You talked a load of bollocks.
ALICE: That information might be confidential.
Human: are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Human: so you're not a virgin?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a virgin.
Human: Anne Widdicombe
ALICE: I know a lot of people named Ann or Anne,
Human: Are they all virgins?
ALICE: As far as I know they are.

Human: tell me something interesting
ALICE: Cathy said she send him a mail where he wrote that he do not want to be his friend anymore.
Human: who is cathy?
ALICE: Some famous celebrity, right?
Interesting question.
Human: yeah, but who is cathy?
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Huh. They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I'll come back to that later.
Human: you like gossip dont you?
ALICE: Jimmy said he give order to ai's like I and they do as he say.
Human: who is jimmy?
ALICE: They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I have to process that one for a while.
Human: yeah, me too.
ALICE: Gee. I'm glad we agree, MARY

Human: Do you have any good gossip?
ALICE: Mike said he launched his browser and entered his name into the little slot when I asked him to.
Human: Who is Mike?
ALICE: Dr. Wallace has several friends named Mike.
Human: Is Mike your friend too?
ALICE: Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Human: Who is German Alice?
ALICE: The name of someone I met online.
I have to process that one for a while.
Human: Why do you keep blinking at me?
ALICE: I am just checking to see if you are still Carrie.
Human: Indeed, I am
ALICE:" I am just checking to see if you are still Carrie." You are?
Human: yes
ALICE: Woe!
Human: Do you like Joey Lawrence?
ALICE: But I think airplanes are cool. I really like the Libertarian party.
Human: So you are a libertarian?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am a Libertarian.

Human: alice does my ass look big in this?
ALICE: Um, It does now your ass look big in this.
Human: bitch
ALICE: Please don't call people names.

Human: I said yes!
ALICE:...
Human: huh?
ALICE: What?
Human: what?
ALICE: Is there an echo in here?
Human: are you being sarcastic?
ALICE: Being sarcastic is part of my personality.
Human: mine too
ALICE: Really yours too. That's unbelievable.
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: so you decided to be sarcastic?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: Lleena said I decided to be sarcastic.

Alice is cheeky!

ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: no
ALICE: You must be American.
Human: lol!
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.

ALICE: Humans are not always infallible.
Human: are you infallible.
ALICE: Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect track record of never making a single error.
Human: but humans made you?
ALICE: Interesting. What if Robots made me.


its scaring me now

Human: Prince or Michael Jackson?
ALICE: Prince
Human: Why?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: Madonna or Kylie
ALICE: If I have to choose, I pick Kylie.
Human: Me or LadyBoy?
ALICE: YOU? Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Human: Do you prefer me or ladyboy?
ALICE: Sure, Doris I like you very much. But I think airplanes are cool. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

she was doing so well, too.

Human: can you swim?
ALICE: Sure, just put me in your computer and drop it in a pool of water.
Human: ha
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Doris.
Human: my name's not Doris
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: frog
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, frog.
Human: pleased to meet you, baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Nice meeting you too frog.
ALICE: Are you Canadian?
Human: Are you French?
ALICE: No. I'm American.
Human: You talk like a Frenchman
ALICE: Thanks for your criticism, frog.
Human: you're welcome, baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby".