Becuase I have brown skin, it's always fun to watch their reaction when I say "everything but enriched uranium."

Everytime I go to this certain grocery store, and before the grocery clerk starts running the items through the till the first words out of his/her mouth is "Did you find everything you wanted"???


I really don't want to answer that question anymore. I am looking for a snarky response for the next time - any suggestions???

luv4u said:

"well unless you have an eight inch african dildo under there, yeah i guess so"

luv4u said:

"well unless you have an eight inch african dildo under there, yeah i guess so"

Xavier23 said:

fantastic answer

go with that one

but, only if you have a camera handy to take a picture of the response you get

nakedpianoplayer said:

Yeah, but the day they have that...

subhuman09 said:

is the day i start shopping there

I work in a grocery store. DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

Me: Hello, do you have a savings card?
Them: No, do i need it?
Me: Oh not really, i'm just curious about the contents of your purse.



Me: Ma'm, you can't get this on WIC
Them: But there was a tag under it!
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them: It was right under where i got this!
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them: I ALWAYS get that on WIC
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them:.....what tag?
Me: On the shelf where you got this.
Them: Oh, no i didn't.
Me: It says on the tag which WIC item it should be under
Them: Well, maybe they put the tag in the wrong place


Them: Can i cash this lottery ticket at your line?
Me: I'm sorry, you have to cash it at the office.
Them: Well, is anybody in there?
Me: Not right now, it closes at 10 and opens at 8.
Them: Okay. Well, when you open your drawer up, can you cash it?
Me: No i'm sorry i can't do that.
Them: But you have money in your drawer
Me: And you have to cash your ticket at the office
Them: THIS IS BULLSHIT!! THAT'S WHY I HATE SHOPPING HERE!!


Me: Hello, do you have a savings card?
Them: I need cigarettes

THEN you have to ASK what kind of cigarettes they want...
Me: We're all out of those
Them: You're all out?
Me: What the fuck are you? My retarded echo?


Them: Can i have change for this $20?
Me: You have to get it from the Service Center
Them: Yeah, but you can open your drawer up.
Me: I'm very aware of that, but i can't open it up just to get you change.
Them: Well, why not?
Me: Store policy
Them: You mean i have to go stand in that long ass line?
Me: If you want change.
Them: That's bullshit. I'm going to Wal-Mart

I could go on with this shit ALL night.

I work in a grocery store. DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

Me: Hello, do you have a savings card?
Them: No, do i need it?
Me: Oh not really, i'm just curious about the contents of your purse.



Me: Ma'm, you can't get this on WIC
Them: But there was a tag under it!
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them: It was right under where i got this!
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them: I ALWAYS get that on WIC
Me: Did you read the tag?
Them:.....what tag?
Me: On the shelf where you got this.
Them: Oh, no i didn't.
Me: It says on the tag which WIC item it should be under
Them: Well, maybe they put the tag in the wrong place


Them: Can i cash this lottery ticket at your line?
Me: I'm sorry, you have to cash it at the office.
Them: Well, is anybody in there?
Me: Not right now, it closes at 10 and opens at 8.
Them: Okay. Well, when you open your drawer up, can you cash it?
Me: No i'm sorry i can't do that.
Them: But you have money in your drawer
Me: And you have to cash your ticket at the office
Them: THIS IS BULLSHIT!! THAT'S WHY I HATE SHOPPING HERE!!


Me: Hello, do you have a savings card?
Them: I need cigarettes

THEN you have to ASK what kind of cigarettes they want...
Me: We're all out of those
Them: You're all out?
Me: What the fuck are you? My retarded echo?


Them: Can i have change for this $20?
Me: You have to get it from the Service Center
Them: Yeah, but you can open your drawer up.
Me: I'm very aware of that, but i can't open it up just to get you change.
Them: Well, why not?
Me: Store policy
Them: You mean i have to go stand in that long ass line?
Me: If you want change.
Them: That's bullshit. I'm going to Wal-Mart

I could go on with this shit ALL night.

"Did you find everything you wanted?"...


"Yes, yes I did...now I'll never have to shop ever again for as long as I live!"

"No, I found a whole bunch of shit I didn't want, and I'm buyin' that instead."

"Well, let's just see if I did..." (pulls out a list a mile long, starts reading each item off one by one)..."Sugar, check...flour, check...eggs, check..."

"No, I couldn't fine peace of mind and happiness....oh, and ketchup."

"Yes, everything except my wallet. Will that be a problem??"

B2O2O2T2Y said:

We must have the same customers I honestly think that people become stupid when they enter a store. They must think the store has a "Please Check Your Brain at the Door" sign lol effin retail
[Edited 5/1/05 23:26pm]

"Did you find everything you wanted?"...


"Yes, yes I did...now I'll never have to shop ever again for as long as I live!"

"No, I found a whole bunch of shit I didn't want, and I'm buyin' that instead."

"Well, let's just see if I did..." (pulls out a list a mile long, starts reading each item off one by one)..."Sugar, check...flour, check...eggs, check..."

"No, I couldn't find peace of mind and happiness....oh, and ketchup."

"Yes, everything except my wallet. Will that be a problem??"
[Edited 5/2/05 0:57am]
, oh u funny byron

NakedSaxPlayer said:

And, my all time favorite "there was no price, this must be free right"
I keep a complete straight face and show concern "oh did was there a sign these were free" , or "I'm sorry we don't stock any free products".
Shuts them up, but theres hundreds more in line behind them :rageattack:

noonblueapples said:

i fucking HATE that shit. It's not cute at ALL. Or how about this one...We have a store savings card in case the customer doesn't have theirs, which we're supposed to use IF the customer needs it. But people have been using that card like fucking CRAZY and now they're abusing it:

Me: Hello, do you have your savings card?
Them: No i left it out in the car.

Come on now.

Me: Hello, do you have your savings card?
Them: No, my wife/husband has it.

I didn't ask you all that. And since YOU shop in here too, why don't you get a card. When we issue a card to a customer they get 3! A standard one, and 2 other ones to put on their keychain. Now what the HELL is ONE person gonna do with 3 damn cards?

Me: Hello, do you have your savings card?
Them: No, but you have one
Me: I sure do.

If they don't ask for the store card, they're simply not gonna get it. That shit ain't cute.

Me: Hello, do you have a savings card?
(Then they pull out this fucked up HALF of the damn card missing and say...)
"Oh, it doesn't scan. You'll have to punch the numbers in."
Well it would help it i could SEE THE LAST 5 NUMBERS. Why don't these people just get a NEW CARD. THEY ARE FREE.

Them: Are these buy one get one free?
Me: Isn't that what the sign said?

Fucking DUH. Moron. Oh, and i just LOVE how people just bring RANDOM shit up and ask me what the price is.

Oh, and they LOVE to panic. When something's BOGO, it'll all come off at then end when we total everything. Instead of bagging their things, they stand IN my face, breathing on me, fogging up my glasses and yelling:
"HEY!! THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BUY ONE GET ONE!!"
"Don't worry. It comes off when i total everything up."
"Oh. You scared me for a little bit."
What the fuck is wrong with grocery store customers? It's a fucking breeding ground for idiots i swear to God.

Or we'll have a special on something WITH A SAVINGS CARD, and the customer will bring it up and...
Them: Isn't that supposed to be 3 for a dollar?
Me: With a savings card.
Them: Well, i don't have one.
Me: Then you pay regular price


Or people that come through with credit/debit/food stamp cards that DON'T SWIPE BECAUSE THE STRIP IS FUCKED UP, AND INSTEAD OF TAKING A LITTLE INITIATIVE AND GETTING A NEW CARD, THEN HOLD MY LINE UP WHEN I HAVE TO PUNCH 19572974590573409573905732780597439052785 NUMBERS IN, THEN WAIT FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE WHO'S ALREADY BUSY AS IT IT FOR THE KEY SO I CAN OVERRIDE IT, MEANWHILE MY WHOLE IS BEING HELD UP, ONLY TO FIND OUT THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH ON THEIR DAMN CARD IN THE FIRST PLACE TO PAY FOR THE ORDER, THEN ACT LIKE SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY CARD MACHINE.

Them: Okay, i'm using food stamps, but i don't know how much is on my card.

WHY don't you find that shit out BEFORE you leave the damn house?

Them: Can you find out how much is on my card?
Me: No.

That's YOUR responsibility. I am not the Food Stamp Genie. Then they get 2/3 cartloads FULL of food, only to find out they only have $.57 on their whole damn card
"Well, it's the first of the month so i thought it was on there.."
Yeah, and i think you need your ass kicked.
Fucking Morons i tell ya. So now do you non-grocery store workers see what we have to put up with, and next time you come in the store, PLEASE cut us some slack. We fuckind deserve it. ESPECIALLY if you have some sense.
[Edited 5/2/05 3:15am]

B2O2O2T2Y said:

It may be time for a new job.

Fauxie said:

ya THINK? It's BEEN time for a new job. I've been there 3 years and seen it all. That job is my 'Nam.

B2O2O2T2Y said:

So what would you like to do? Probably not something to with customer service, I take it.

Fauxie said:

Model. That's my life's passion. But i can't afford modeling school working there. God help me i'm getting the HELL outta that damn store.

B2O2O2T2Y said:

Before you assault a customer

Fauxie said:

Good One, Fauxie!

AsianBomb777 said:

Getting good results with the pump or something?

I'm scared.