The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
> retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
> retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
> between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what
> those
> two points would be.
>
> The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top
> of
> his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
> out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
> out with $96,000.
>
> The third one was a grizzly old Master Chief who, when asked where he
> would like to be measured, replied "From the tip of my penis to my
> testicles."
>
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider;
> explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had
> received. But the old Master Chief insisted and they decided to go
> along
> with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The
> medical officer arrived and instructed the Master Chief to "drop em,"
> which he did. The Medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
> the Master Chief's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly
> exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
>
> The old Master Chief calmly replied: "Vietnam."
[Edited 4/21/05 4:55am]