By KONSTANTINE SIMAKIS
THE PLAIN DEALER (Cleveland, Ohio)




I have a theory.


In the early 1970s, some foreign power developed a top-secret plan to undermine the American spirit. That project, code-named Operation Karaoke, aimed to convince our nation that it was a good idea to put amateur musicians onstage, whereupon they could instantly ruin any good party.


Within months of its institution in bars and party centers across the United States, millions of Americans had fallen under Karaoke's spell. Few clubhoppers could resist the temptation to shame themselves, their families, and friends with glass-shattering renditions of the Police's "Roxanne." Operation Karaoke succeeded grandly, and America was heartily embarrassed. United Nations meetings would never be the same.


.....our nation may well never recover from the Karaoke Crisis.