Sorry about the long rant, but I'm not having any better a holiday than Teacher...

Well, it's not all bad. Right now I'm walking around in a bathrobe and playing Trans Siberian Orchestra CDs way too loud and singing at the top of my lungs. I'm letting the dogs up on the furniture and I'm eating all the junk food I want, and I'm getting a lot of housework done because no one is distracting me or standing there criticizing but refusing to help. The house is all decorated, well except for a tree because I ran out of money... I'm just starting a new job that's walking distance from my house and it's pretty pleasant so far. I only have to work two hours on Christmas Eve. And I finally have time to go Christmas shopping tonight. But still... I have to spend Christmas alone again!

My boyfriend went home to his mommy this morning... Just to be nice to me, he asked "permission" to stay at his own house here for a few extra days to be with me. Reluctantly his mother agreed, so they picked their little baby up this morning, instead of last week, and drove him "home"... Now, don't get me wrong. He's not exactly happy about this. It's not like he actually wanted to go with them. But he's so submissive to them. They tell him "no" and he says "ok" and forgets about it. They tell him he has to do something and he just says "aw why do I have to..." and does it without hesitation. All they have to say is "Dad's getting mad" and he gets scared and runs to do whatever they order him to do. He's twice the size of both his parents. He's in his 20s and he has his own place and responsibilities here. I think they all need to take a reality check, don't you...

I realize the reason they "have" to take him "home" today is because on Christmas day they're leaving for a three hour car trip to New Jersey to see his aunt and her roommate and a few members of the family for Christmas. I was supposed to go with them. I'm always supposed to go with them actually. That makes baby feel better, they think, to pack pet Mandy up in her cage and take her along on trips... They never ask if I'm busy or if I want to; they just tell him to tell me I'm "allowed" to come along and expect me to be happy about it... But they never stay overnight anywhere.

This is how it'll go. They'll leave the house at about 8 AM to start their trip. Around 11 they'll arrive at Aunt Debbie's house and everyone will stand uncomfortably in a circle in the kitchen, trying in vain to make conversation, usually just asking everyone how school and work is going and teasing Dad about how many damn cars he keeps buying and how overbearing he is with his kids. It's funny how he thinks they're joking... Then they'll eat dinner, open some presents and pretend to be happy about it, and then after 4 or 5 in the afternoon, while everyone is starting to get drunk and have a good time, my boyfriend's parents will announce they're leaving. And they'll make the three hour trip back to their tiny cold dark dirty little house and sit and stare at each other in the living room for like the next four days. Then maybe after a week or so, my boyfriend will work up the guts to "ask" if he's "allowed" to go back to his house. And of course they'll say no because they "need him here" for New Years. Yep, the purpose he serves sitting on the couch staring at the floor is invaluable... Then like two days before the new semester starts, they'll remember that he needs to buy books, so they'll pack him in the car and take him to State College to buy his books. He'll come drop them off at the house, not even notice I'm here because all his attention is on his screaming parents at the moment, and then I bet they'll either spend the entire day at the house making me feel unwelcome or they'll tell him he "needs to come back home".

Besides all this, they don't know the dogs live here. They don't even know I live here. They're whole-heartedly against any such situation, not because of morals or allergies or anything. Just because the dogs bring down the property value of the house, which they intend to sell in 6 years and then have their baby son, who will be 27 at that point, come back "home" and send me away... And of course if I'm around, the dogs will undoubtedly be around, so they don't want me here either because I'm such a nuisance; I bring "animals" with me when I come around... This morning I stood in the rain out in a field, no shelter to be found, watching the car sit in the driveway, with the poor dogs looking at me like "what the hell are we doing?!" for hours as we got soaked and frozen, while his parents sat around the house clueless, eating lunch, moving our stuff around, and packing baby for his car trip...

I can't stand his parents or their house, so I'm glad I ended up having to work. I don't see how a one-day trip involves a week or more at their house, and I don't wish to be part of it again... Sure, three hours is a long drive, but it's a 2 1/2 hour drive to come pick him up here and they're sure willing to make that drive whenever they "need him home". So why should it take so long...

Now just when it can't get any worse, I ask my brother if he wants to come spend Christmas here with me. He seems excited about it, but somewhere along the way my parents find out that he's planning the trip... Ugh, my parents... To be continued. This is long enough. Sorry for the rant but I'm about to go crazy I'm so mad about all this...

I think all of us lonely Christmasers need to go on Yahoo, connect a picrophone and have a conference chat on Christmas eve

Okay, part 2... My parents...

Born again Christians. Now I know a lot of people in these forums are very religious and that's fine. Personally I'm not, but I won't criticize you for what makes you feel good to believe in. My parents, though... They're obsessed. They're the kind of people even the super-religious people want to avoid. They're hippocrites... They believe in no sex unless it's for the purpose of reproduction, day care and preschool are the devil because they take the children away from their parents who should have 100% influence and socialization is useless, drinking, swearing or watching movies or listening to music with even one dirty word or vulgar reference is forbidden and the offending piece of entertainment should be destroyed and complained about immediately, going to church every Sunday is enough to make you a good person, the list goes on and on...

But they don't practice what they preach. They're always judging everyone. They can just look at a person and make some stupid assumption about what kind of person they must be. And they stick to that and treat the person accordingly. They curse everyone and demand constant attention and undue respect from everyone. They always brag about their health problems and get mad if people won't pity them. And they're obsessed with their son. In their eyes he can do no wrong, even though he gets himself into more trouble in a week than I ever have in my life. I am not even kidding; when I was growing up they told me and treated me like I was worthless because I was born a girl and I couldn't play football for them. It was disgusting... See? They're those kind of people. So sad that I'm sitting here stereotyping, but I'm sure you know exactly what I mean...

They found out my brother was planning to visit me for Christmas. So even though for months my mother has been making every excuse she can think of not to visit me, now the whole family is planning a trip. I do not get along with my parents and I do not want them in my house. But what can I do? If I lock the doors, surely they'll break a window or something and I'll be in trouble for damaging the precious house and bringing down the "property value" (see previous post...).

I have always fought with my dad. He has always looked at me as incompetent and weak and in need of constant instruction, which he believes himself to be the only one qualified to give... When I have something to say or something has me mad, he says I'm acting "insane", "immature", or "irrational". The way he says it, you can really tell this is his insecurity about himself coming out, much like Teacher's dad in her post from earlier. But my mom always backs him up. She says he's the smartest man in the world and I'm being "selfish" by refusing to admit I'm that bad a person. See why I don't want them visiting... It will NOT end well... Well a few months ago I got in a real big fight with my dad, and I told him never to talk to me again. I told him he was dead to me, and I was not kidding. It would make me very happy to never see or hear from him or about him ever again. He's caused me nothing but grief in my life, done nothing but ruin everything I've ever tried to do, and of course never missed an opportunity to tell me he owns me, or that I'm shit and he's better than I'll ever be. He told me I was acting insane and to calm down and now he's acting like nothing ever happened. I've kept to my word and not given him an ounce of attention since the fight. No matter how many times he calls I don't answer the phone, and when he sends me messages via my mother, I just avoid the subject because she'll never leave me alone if she finds out I've told him to stay away from me. I'd prefer that she just keep her distance too really, so I avoid saying anything that'll get her to talk to me any longer than she has to...

And they're coming over on Christmas day! What a way to ruin a holiday! They're coming to visit the dogs THEY tried to starve to death a few months ago, which is why I'm hiding them here. They're coming to walk around my boyfriend's house like they own the place and comment on everything like they have any right to. They're coming to sit on our furniture smelling like dirty cats and people who just don't know how to wash their clothes. They're coming to "cook dinner" and make a mess in my kitchen, because they think I can't feed myself. What should I do? I can tell them not to come, but no guarantees they won't make the trip anyway and then guilt me into letting them in because they drove all this way. What do I do if my dad tries to talk to me in front of my mom? What can I do to make them understand they can't go snooping around the house, going through our stuff and commenting? And what should I do when they start ranting about what God would have to say about my life and the things I own and the movies I watch and the music I listen to...

That concludes my rant. Sorry for being boring and overly dramatic... I just needed to get that off my chest...

Make the best of your holiday!

Jeez, I feel bad saying this, but I'm kinda glad I'm not the only one looking forward to having a horrible Christmas.
Let's hope soemthing great happens and we all end up having a great one!

I should be happy. I'm just expecting to have a horrible, lonely New Year's Eve. I could go to a bar.

Nah, Tetris and IK+ all the way.

Yeah, Christmas is gonna probably blow for me too. So I DO intend to drink banana daquiris til Im blind...

Case said:

Actually that sounds like a plan.
And New Years Eve, that's not looking great either.

Now do you feel better?