The Snow Diaries

Day one. Sunday, December 5th.

Snow has begun falling from the sky. Tiny, feathery little flakes, almost appealing in the way they seem to dance across the wind, are drifting into my world. I am tempted to welcome them because there is beauty in their sparkle. However, I cannot help but remember the last time this very same event occurred and the six months of snow which followed that unhappy day. Actually it was more like seven months. Snow fell in Minnesota from November of 2003 through May of 2004. I mistrust these flakes and I mistrust the message they bring from the heavens above. In my opinion their meaning is clear: There IS a god and he is out to get those of us who live in Minnesota.

Fortunately, I have been preparing for this moment over the course of the last few months. THIS time around I am standing my ground. I have purchased a brand new hairdryer and fresh batteries. If I move quickly and with single-minded dedication I will be able to melt all of these pernicious little flakes before they can make themselves at home in my world. Time will tell.

Day two. Monday, December 6th

Yesterday was long and grueling but it was unquestionably time well spent. Every snowflake that tumbled earthward I welcomed with a blast of hot air! Every clump of ice which threatened to form on nearby trees and bushes I greeted in the same fashion. Hour after hour I have stood my ground, defending my turf, and I have won the day. The snow has stopped falling and Winter herself has bowed to my superior intelligence and strength of will.

The hair dryer is making odd noises, though. Perhaps it needs another change of batteries.

Day Three. Tuesday, December 7th.

Ah Winter, the deceptive witch. While I slept, she snuck back to reclaim the ground she lost during our first battle. Behind my back she has layered my world in white and having accomplished her dastardly mission, has since departed the scene of her crime. She dares not show her face while I am awake so no snow falls right now. I do not fear the dusting of ice on the ground, nor do I fear the build-up of snowflakes on the trees. Winter will rue the day she moved in on me and mine!

And after I have again melted the snow outside with my hairdryer I will engage the assistance of my neighbors and friends. Surely they will see the wisdom of joining with me in this struggle? Perhaps the best thing I can do at this juncture is to place advertisements on the internet and in the local newspapers.

Day Four. Wednesday, December 8th

Work called today, wanting to know when I will be coming in to the office. I explained that I am otherwise occupied, and that I will be thus occupied as long as Winter refuses to admit defeat. I'm not sure whether any snow will fall today - it hasn't yet - but I am busy making preparations for the next onslaught. I have ordered ten cases of batteries and have purchased several dozen more hairdryers from Walgreens.

I have also begun a campaign of recruitment to involve my fellow Minnesotans in this battle. Knocking on doors, calling telephone numbers listed in the phone book - little by little I gain the respect of my peers as I garner their support for my cause. I have posted flyers and mailed brochures, I have left messages and have spoken to people on the street. I expect a healthy turnout at the rally I have organized for tomorrow night.

Day Five. Thursday, December 9th

Still no snow. Chill winds lurk in the alleyways of Minneapolis, wolf-whistling around the ears of passersby, but of snow there is not the merest hint. I suspect a trick, a trap of some kind. Perhaps Winter seeks to lull me into a false sense of confidence, a relaxed state, the better to overcome my defenses when she attacks again.

I can wait as long as she can. In fact if necessary I can wait longer, hidden right here behind this tree. I have more than enough batteries.

Day Six. Friday, December 10th

Unfortunately the attendance at last night's rally was not as robust as I had hoped. Only two people showed up. One attended by the sheerest accident while looking for a nearby coffee shop and the other one simply stumbled in, incoherent from the effects of strong drink. No matter, I have armed them both with hairdryers, batteries, and my assurances of a better world through the union of our efforts.

Will no one else join us?

I'm in!

CarrieMpls said:

thank you dear! THAT'S the spirit!