So erm what you sposed to do if you are in love with your best friend who happens to also be your partners best friend ?

And what if you tell em and they say they aint in love with you ?

Do you..

(a) commit suicide
(b) get on with your life
(c) split up with your partner
(d) somethin else... (give another option...)

PuppyBreath said:

Hmm thats a pretty hard one!!!.. Although i do think it depends on whether your partners bestfriend feels the same way about you???
If it is just a crush then most definitely get on with your life, although if you believe that this person is the one for you.. you could possibly tell them, although that would ruin both your relationship with your best friend and your partner!
So my advice to you would be to leave it alone and move on!! There is always more fish in the sea!

PuppyBreath said:

Hmm thats a pretty hard one!!!.. Although i do think it depends on whether your partners bestfriend feels the same way about you???
If it is just a crush then most definitely get on with your life, although if you believe that this person is the one for you.. you could possibly tell them, although that would ruin both your relationship with your best friend and your partner!
So my advice to you would be to leave it alone and move on!! There are plenty of fish in the sea!

I have already told this person and they said they didnt love me. But Im not sure whether that is because they are my partners best friend and being loyal or whether this person actually loves me too.

We have had a couple of "moments" where it could be interpreted as more than friends...

Thats why Im so confused.

Ive been friends with this person for over 12 years and 6 years ago introduced me to my present partner.

Yours Sincerely Fucked Up
PuppyBreath.

Well if you are in love with someone else regardless who, yeah I think you should break up with your partner.

PuppyBreath said:

Basically break up with your current partner then, and date your partners best friend, the one that you are truly inlove with.. if you reli think that he is your one and only mr right.. then go for it.. fuck morals.. just do it..

Tonylover said:

But I dont know whether shes in love with me or not...

PuppyBreath said:

lol i thought you were a female.. neways didnt you mentioned before that there was chemistry goin on, if so then you are definitely in with a chance.. just be careful not 2 do 2 much damage to your current partner in the process.. but do not.. i mean do not begin dating your partners best friend whilst you guys are still dating.. that is totally out of the question!

If you are in love with someone else, it sounds like you need to break up with your partner, regardless of if the other person returns those feelings for you or not. The one you are in love with also may have said s/he is not in love with you because s/he knows you are with someone!

You have to make some serious decisions, pahdnah.

bluesbaby said:

Yup cosign

bluesbaby said:

Not that easy though is it, I mean I have been with my present partner for 6 years and actually moved country and learned a new language...

I wouldn't stay with my current partner if I thought I was in love with someone else...just because if you loved your partner..you wouldn't have any romantic feelings towards someone else....yes you can be attracted to another while in a relationship...but if you act on that attraction..that's a whole other ballgame. Every man or woman finds someone other than their partner attractive, if they say they never do, that's BS. If they didn't admire others, then I'd say something's wrong there because it's nature to feel attracted to others. But ONCE you cross that line, you need to step back & re evaluate your current situation. Put yourself in your partners place & think how YOU would feel. Anyway....I personally would NEVER have a relationship with my other half's friend..no way!!! That's kind of crossing that fine line imo, just because I look at that as the same thing if it were my friend and if my other half wanted to start seeing my friend...it's like ..I duuno,,,you just don't go there you know???? And if it's a really really close friend I would think that's an even bigger no no. Talk about awkward situations now, eh??? You had better think of the right thing to do because if the person you are thinking of makes it known to your partner about what you said you felt, don't you think it's bad if that's where the news comes from rather than from you???? Please be sensitive in 'splainin if you do talk about this....good luck let us know how it goes.

Know what you mean Kellie but the person in question is also my best friend and wouldnt say anything about this to my partner anyway... Very sure about that. So she is actually in a very difficult position at the mo, after what I have said.

Love her to bits and dont want her to come to any harm so this is so fucking fustrating...

Ok...Gotcha Puppy Maybe you should take a break from your partner, have some down time & see how your feeling about your other friend after some time away.....No one can decide what's best obviously but you. Gosh..dilemmas, huh?
I mean I know it's easy to say what one would or wouldn't do, unless they have walked in your shoes....so what I mentioned before applies to what I personally would do for me, BUT, I have also never been in your situation either so....just be true to yourself is all i can say ....and good luck again..

This happened to me in the Nineties. I was in love with my best friend Hillari and she didn't feel the same way back towards me. Basically, she had a bad boy fetish and I was the "nice" guy, so I didn't exactly light her fire. It got pretty damn sticky for a while and we almost stopped being friends as a result. Things just worked out after I got over my feelings (which took a long time).

Basically, you just have to see if you can fall out of love with the person. And be careful of those platonic relationships with the opposite sex--they get very tricky.

don't go there. i'm sorry but it can seriously hurt a friendship....i've been there. i used to have a close male friend and since we 'went there' our friendship hasn't been the same. its really hard to get over romantic feelings when the other doesn't feel the same way and you desperatly want to be friends but it hurts to even look at him. having a relationship with your 'best friend' could possibly be the BEST thing to ever happen to you however its a big risk to take...i can't imagine my life without my 'best' guy friend however sometimes it still hurts to try and be his friend...


good luck.

[quote/]Basically, you just have to see if you can fall out of love with the person. And be careful of those platonic relationships with the opposite sex--they get very tricky.[/quote]

Most of my friends are actually female, aint had any probs with them, this is the first time Ive fallen in love with one of them, after 12 years.

Kellie, Case, Lillith thanks for your thoughts much appreciated.

xxx

Does the other person have feelings for you?

Otherwise pursue someone else.

I feel for you.

I'm in a similar situation at the moment. I am best friends with this guy that I really like, and so is my boyfriend.

Things got kinda shitty one time, and my boyfriend and my best friend fell out, and I can't help but think it's all my fault. Nothing happened, just flirting, but I feel to blame for two best friends breaking up.

Worst thing is, I know my best friend has feelings for me, 'cause he's told me many a-times, but I just cannot act on these feelings.

I would hurt my boyfriend, and who's to say the relationship between me and my best friend would last anyway?

sawah said:

Back at you ! Feel for you.

Luckily my partner has no suspicions, so there is no friction between them. I just feel so guilty about it cos I know its wrong but I just "cant stop this feelin I got". Hopefully it will wear off with time.

Take care sawah

PuppyBreath said:

c + b.

Ace said:

co-sign

Get on with your bloody life or get one !!

No point in stewing over it, it'll just eat you up.

Your really need to seriously think about your current relationship as well.

I just remembered the old saying.."Out of sight, Out of mind"....maybe you can try that & see how it goes..maybe this is just lust & not love, you know??? Maybe being by yourself with no one right at the moment will help you sort out what you may or may not think you are feeling....Maybe you can go talk to a counselor???? I wish I could help you there...BUT... I am a grief/bereavement coordinator, which is about the same thing as a grief counselor...so..sorry can't help you on that.....

is it love or lust?

lust is pretty much natural, as I see it.
But if you are in love with someone other than yuor partner, then you probably should break up with your partner, since it's not fair towards them.

WHen i was younger, I fell HARD for a friend of mine.. we were soooo close.. We use to talk all the time, laugh on the phone, hang out occasionally,.. we got alone great! Somehow, we went hung out with the same people and he found out this other kid really liked me and backed off.. Years later, I found out he told my mom and sister he really liked me, but didn't want to ask me out becuse of his friend that liked me. I was shocked but mad too.. I was heart broken when we stopped talking when we were younger. I always thought i did something wrong...

Kellie said:

I do know the difference between lust and love... remember Ive known this person for over 12 years.

But I know what you mean about "Out of sight.." its just not that easy as we are such close friends both me and my partner with her.

Though I am going to see a counsellor about it, I imagine this is going to be like dealing with grief. Coping with something that isnt there...

Heavenly said:

I agree...

petski said: