when i was reading CC thread about opening up to loving again.... he made an interesting point. it says,

CCII said:

first of all, let me say, im sorry for your loss CC


now, that being said..

how many of you here have loved someone sooooo much, then something went wrong, on either side, and things will never be the same ????? it is so sad to think that such a great thing can scar your heart so deeply that you will never love that way again.....

love is bittersweet.....love sucks

BabyGirl said:

well think about it.....

we remember the good times we have, thats a great thing... it helps us to form the "type" relationship that we want in the future, but, if the bad things hold us from ever trusting again like we did in the first place..... can we ever love like we used to ??? or will that scar always keep us from getting what we are looking for again ????

does that make sense ??

nakedpianoplayer said:

makes perfect sense....i think the scars are always there, and hard to get past for most of us....love is not easy in the first place and even harder once youve been hurt....i stay optmistic though and believe it can be felt again, just as much as before

BabyGirl said:

thats probably the most healthy outlook we could ask for


- just because

nakedpianoplayer said:

I have a feeling that I'll be at that place again. It has taken time but I'm starting to feel ready. I won't rush it. BUT I swear being hurt like that makes you feel like you're being smoothered.
[Edited 9/25/04 8:18am]

nakedpianoplayer said:

I ended a 6 year relationship in feb 2003. My ex still hasn't moved on, in fact he says he never wants to have a relationship again because he can't stand the thought of going through the heartache of splitting up again. This makes me feel incredibly sad, not to mention guilty.
I've had shitty relationships, been cheated on etc, but i won't let it stop me from trusting other guys. If we go about guarding our feelings all the time, we deny ourselves the chance of true happiness.
Each new relationship should start with a clean sheet - drop all the baggage and take a chance on people i say.

Abbie said:

how can you drop all the baggage ??? i mean, how can you REALLY drop it ????? its part of you, its what forms who you are today.. theres no way to get rid of it - short of having a memory loss due to an accident.

okay, what i meant was, you don't have to treat previous experiences as "baggage" that will forever hinder future realtionships. Of course our past is what makes us who we are today, and you can't erase things that have happened. I meant, to not allow hurt and pain from the past to keep clouding things, to have a positive mindset that gives you the freedom to keep on taking chances, even though you may be leaving yourself wide open to being hurt again. Putting defences up will probably not stop someone pissing you about, if they're going to then they're going to. I'd rather get on with it without the guardedness and have a good time while it lasts. que sera sera.

anybody that has ever really loved someone else and it went sour, has been throught this.... mine was from many years ago..... nothong will ever be the same.... I have changed immensely, but what I feel is for the best.... I hated her for years..... I'm over it now, and as a matter of fact appreciate what she did for me....

I know I'm not the greatest man, certainly not the prettiest man (thanks to CCII's pic topic.... handsome bitch! ), but I give all I have.....