I have a lot of friends going out with women much younger than they are. I don't have a problem with it at all. But their ex wives can't stand it. What do you think?

either no one wants to touch this one or I am the only one paying attention at the moment. Take your pick!

If they're legal, they're fair game.






Unless the older person involved is, like, 90. Then it gets spooky.

I don't think it's right

My husband is only 8 years older than me, i met him when i was 16 and he was 24 and i resent the fact that i was a child and was easily lead...

i think older people can unintentionally use there experience to mould a nice young play thing into what they want, young and eager to please partners don't realise until it's too late and they have been well and truely screwed in every way possible

I thought i was old enough at 16 to handle a relationship but now looking back it wasn't the best thing for me.

and i blame him cause he should have been old enough to know better.

so knowing what i know i would not even consider may i use the word "abuse" ok maybe to strong a word but i can't think of another.

ohhhh serious again

lollyp0p said:

Similar situation here. Lately I've been feeling that way about my boyfriend. I met him when I was almost 17, and he was 26.

theVelvetRoper said:

isn't it just terrible when you finally realise????

I think it is selfish to go out with someone that much younger than yourself.



I've really got to stop posting serious stuff I'm getting all

lollyp0p said:

Why is it selfish if the feeling of love between them is reciprocated?

If you have to ask, then maybe it shouldn't be done.....

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I'm only talking from personal experience but i felt like i had been used as a play thing when i look back....

something easy to mould into what he wanted. At 18 you are very impressionable and i was quite shallow and materialist too,

when i say selfish i mean why get into a relationship with a person that much younger than you, it's more than likely lust and if it isn't you should think about the other persons need to grow and develop


I don't think it's done intentionally at all..... don't get me wrong but i am agains't it

but then again

my dad is quite a bit older than my mom and they are still together. so i guess it can work

JD your confusing me

lollyp0p said:

I don't think it's really confusing at all. The flip side to the argument is, why get into a relationship with a person that much older than you if you are aware in yourself that you need to grow, experience different relationships and develop emotionally. To say it'w wrong is to basically suggest that the younger in the relationship is too naiive to enter the relationship. I think it depends entirely on the two people involved and whether they want to enter a relationship with the other.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I can see the other side, BUT who at 18 thought they were still emotionally fully developed, i know i thought I knew everything and could make my own decisions.

I thought i was able to handle a relationship like that but....

looking back i was naive and i think as the older person entering the relationship having already made that journey you should be more aware of the emotional development of a 18 year old

i wouldn't change my past, i ended up with two adorable children and i learned alot

but do you really think its right to go out with someone that much younger than yourself?

lollyp0p said:

Well I suppose my answer cannot be objective because I've certainly not been out with someone 10-14 years younger than me and only had a few brief flings with someone that older than me. However, I still do really believe that is down to both the individual and shouldn't be considered wrong. If either of the two thought it would be so than surely they wouldn't get involved at all.
[This message was edited Sun Aug 29 6:39:55 2004 by JDINTERACTIVE]

JDINTERACTIVE said:

want to agree to disagree?

No,this was my situation for years . He was NO PERVERT. He was a Wonderful Mentor.

lollyp0p said:

Yes!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

thank goodness for that

Zelaira said:

i didn't say the word PERVERT


lol my childrens father is not a pervert just inapropriate



did i say pervert???

I'm pleased that it worked out for you

as i said it did for my parents too.

lollyp0p said:

Lately it's just been sinking in, and it's a bad pattern that I've had since I was 16, getting with guys who were a lot older. I know my boyfriend didn't intentionally try to manipulate me, and I love him, but a lot of me feeling resentful lately is because of bad experiences with older guys before him. And it's almost 5 years later, but now I'm starting to think about how I lost my virginity in a really awful way. Back then, I didn't even realize it, I was in such a rush to grow up and I thought I was more mature then I was.

Oh, God, now I'm depressed now!

theVelvetRoper said:

i know exactly what you mean



wanna go out and get drunk ???

Hell no!

If that was the case, there would be many perverts locked up that had sex with me 14 years older than I

lollyp0p said:

Sure!

And then we can go pick up some younger men!

theVelvetRoper said:

I like you

lollyp0p said:

You're right about this. And this is threading on shaky grounds. I don't agree with a 16 year and 24 year old being together.
[This message was edited Sun Aug 29 7:44:50 2004 by CCII]

lollyp0p said:

Get lost in the plush of the sensation rush, for it doesn't matter the age or the page that the number's touch.

And as long as my song's enough to move your soul, then the age of your rage is but a story told dear one.

Bisou.

Depends on the people and the situation.



Cheesy ''Morning Papers" reference here.

It really depends upon the people involved. I don't personally feel a blanket 'yes' or 'no' answer will suffice here.

Case in point: My mother is thirteen years younger than my father. They have been married almost thirty-eight years. That experience has made me evaluate potential girlfriends in somewhat different terms (presuming, of course, that they are of legal consenting age).

Still, I have not dated a woman who was significantly younger than me (yet...). It is not necessarily a healthy situation for everyone, but it is not necessarily manipulative, either. In that way, I suppose it is much like more 'temporally conventional' relationships.

It's never perverted to have sex with an 18 year old