1. did you take a notebook to the theater?

2. i can't believe you PAID TO SEE THIS PIECE OF SHIT. they got you coming and going hahahahahaha.

starkitty said:

I caught the matinee. $6.50 ain't a bad price to fulfill my curiosity.

EvilWhiteMale said:

you should have asked me.
i would have told you (see above) AND i wouldn't have charged you.

now maybe you should go see Sixteen Candles to cleanse your palate.

AVP is entirely science fiction, i'm sorry to be the one to break it to you.

starkitty said:

Sarcasm just doesn't translate well into the written word, I guess - not that what I said was hysterically funny, mind you...

Okay, here's the problems with this piece of shit:

1. The characters sucked. I didn't believe or care for them at all. In the first 2 Aliens and first Predator, I actually gave a shit about the characters, and was convinced by the actor's performances. In AVP, I wanted every single character to die a horrible death.

Agreed, although I will admit that I didn't go see it for the characters. I just wanted to see the Aliens and Predators fight.

2. They tried to make another Ripley with the lead actress, even though she was more chicken shit at some times. First of all, she sucked. I didn't believe for a second that she was the character she played, and was annoyed by every scene she was in. She should have been one of the first to get killed with the way things were going.

She was completely unbelievable.

3. The Italian guy was ridiculous. He steps into this place and immediately translates and understands everything about the pyramid, including the Aliens and Predators. It was basically a way to explain the story quickly.

That totally cracked me up! Why did we need explanations for this shit anyway?? Who was coming to see this movie who hadn't seen the other films?

4. What the fuck was Bishop doing in this century? He shouldn't have been born for a shit load of years into the future.

That wasn't Bishop (besides, Bishop was an android, so who's to say when he was "born"). The character was Charles Bishop Weyland, ancestor to the creator of the Bishop android. He is also the founder of the company that will eventually evolve into the one Ripley works for. This at least explains why the company knew of the existence of these creatures in Alien. I actually liked this touch

5. Sorry, but Spud from Trainspotting will always be Spud. That guys will never be able to play a serious character in anything.

So he should never play any other characters?? Sorry, but I don't agree with this.

6. All that damn adjusted shutter speed motion was annoying. It seems that every action film has to have this in order to make the action appear more vigerous. All it does is make it difficult to see what the hell is going on.

Annoying as fucking hell, and I'm really tired of seeing it.

7. In the first Alien, the face huggers would attach to the victim, lay it's egg, and the egg would hatch. This process took about a day or so. In AVP, it took about 4 minutes. Amazing, ain't it?

There is a precendent in the Dark Horse comics that the Predators sometimes did things to engineer the hunt. Its possible that these aliens were genetically altered to speed up the process. Of course, this was never explained in the film, and it wouldn't explain why it took the regular amount of time for the one gestating inside the Predator.

8. Why do we need to see corny crap? When the chick befriended the Predator, I almost vomited. It was probably the most ridiculous thing I've seen.

That wasn't what bugged me. I couldn't buy that the Predator would accept her simpering, whiny ass. In the original Dark Horse comic, the leader of the colony under attack winds up kicking all sorts of alien ass. As a result, she gains the respect of the Predators and is accepted by them. This chick cringes in a corner and barely manages to run one through with her spear. I think it would take a little bit more for the Predator to decide she was worthy.

9. The Alien's blood seemed to eat away the floors and walls. If the place was made of stone (as it appeared), this would be impossible.

Why? I've worked in chemical warehouses with acids that ate up concrete. Why would it not work on stone?

10. When the Predator chopped the head off the Alien and gave it to the chick to wear on her arm, WTF?! Wouldn't the acid melt her hand, and wouldn't it be too heavy for her to carry around like that?

In all fairness, the Predator did seem to be able to be putting some sort of neutraliser on it as he field-dressed it. This was supposed to be a coming-of-age ritual for the Predators, so it makes sense that they would have been provided tools for this purpose.

11. How many times do we need to see the final Alien suffer the same fate. In the first two Alien films, they got blasted off into space. In AVP, it got yanked down into the ocean. Same damn way.

They should have had the last two of both species fighting it out to the bloody end! Oh, and there should have been NO human survivors.

12. How exactly did the chick stay so warm even after throwing off her coat in the middle of one of the coldest places on earth?

This was completely ridiculous.

13. The story was sloppy and just thrown together. There was no real flow to this thing and it all happened way too fast. They had to pack in as much action as possible.

And yet, it still had less action than Aliens

14. The film was obviously made only to make money, not to be in the least bit an intelligent sci-fi film like the first installments. Even though the film was doomed from the beginning by being a "Vs." film, they could have done much better.


They should have just directly adapted the first Alien Vs Predator mini-series from Dark Horse. It had much better characters, a superior story and fantastic pacing. Paul W.S Anderson got it in his head that the fans wanted to see the Aliens on earth, and that the film needed to be a prequel to Alien, but a sequel to Predator 2. Why?? The Dark Horse comics have done a superb job of weaving an intricate history of these two races. This film barely touched on that.

Still, it was better than Alien 3

EvilWhiteMale said:

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[This message was edited Tue Aug 17 7:04:10 2004 by JediMaster]

A couple other things that didn't make sense:

1.The pyramid was 2,000 feet below sea level. Wouldn't the pressure down there have killed them?

More than likely, yes. Maybe someone with a little more scientific knowledge could give us a yay or nay on that?

2. As the one Predator was busy getting killed by the mother Alien, how come none of the other Predators jumped off the ship which was nearby behind a cloaking device & assisted him??

Because it was a coming-of-age ritual for a hunt-based society. Predator culture is such that, if the young hunters died during this ritual, then they were not worthy. The reason the one gets taken onto the ship and given a place of honor is because he DID manage to kill the Alien Queen, even though it cost him his life in the process.

I agree with a lot of your points. I felt that the lead actress should have done a lot more than what she did to gain the Predator's respect. But, at that point his 2 comrades had been killed, so maybe he figured he could use her.
I paid $6.50 as well EWM, so I didn't feel so bad.

AVP.

That right there is fucking stupid. You gave it a title, now use it. It bugs me that they market it as AVP. Just the initials. This stupid acronym fascination is garbage. Acronyms should happen naturally, shorthand for something that is being discussed. To market it with the acronym is presumptuous. Me thinks.

madartista said:

dude

Anything with the words "Vs" in the title is gonna be shit (...them's the rules)