fuck'em.

There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy but you have to have a little asshole or a little darkness in you as well....Its all about balance can't go through life being completely or mostly good or bad nice guys gotta get gritty sometimes...

Joey: It is no understatement to say I know where you're coming from. So let me speak on this for a minute.

Disappointment and heartbreak is inevitable. But for those who try to be earnest, open, and kindhearted with people who they have feelings for, it hurts even more.

The thing about nice guys is that they often they are afraid, and the objects of their affection capitalize on their fear by stringing them along. Nice guys hand over their power so easily and define themselves by the reaction of those they like/love to their advances.

When the feelings of a nice guy are unrequited, it hurts. Experience that once, and you remember it forever. Experience it twice, and you start to wonder if something's wrong with you. Experience it on several occasions, and you begin to reconsider your approach.

So then you are tempted by a new approach. To be as unfeeling and calculating as the ones who are selfish, or aggressive, because they seem to get ahead with the ladies. You find yourself wanting some getback for those people who betrayed your generosity. You feel you can lure as you were lured, with empty words and carefree promises. And some might fall into your trap, and you might feel a rush from your new approach. But you're only hurting yourself.

I recommend a new openess. Express your feelings freely. Keep being the nice guy that you are. And if the woman doesn't respond, fuck'em. Move on, confident that what you have to offer will find a taker, sooner or later. And even if it never happens, you will have been true to yourself.

But don't give the object[s] of your spurned affections the power to shape the rest of your romantic life.

It's a challenging road, being the nice cat. For a time, I laid down my nice guy ways in the dating realm and found myself driven more by my need for misdirected "revenge" against those who cut me deeply. It is still a tempting alternative sometimes, but I found only more emptiness.

If my generalizations don't apply to you, then I am sorry. But I urge you to be strong enough to be your nice self. It may not pay off for you the way you want, but you will be true to yourself.

Joey: It is no understatement to say I know where you're coming from. So let me speak on this for a minute.

Disappointment and heartbreak is inevitable. But for those who try to be earnest, open, and kindhearted with people who they have feelings for, it hurts even more.

The thing about nice guys is that they often they are afraid, and the objects of their affection capitalize on their fear by stringing them along. Nice guys hand over their power so easily and define themselves by the reaction of those they like/love to their advances.

When the feelings of a nice guy are unrequited, it hurts. Experience that once, and you remember it forever. Experience it twice, and you start to wonder if something's wrong with you. Experience it on several occasions, and you begin to reconsider your approach.

So then you are tempted by a new approach. To be as unfeeling and calculating as the ones who are selfish, or aggressive, because they seem to get ahead with the ladies. You find yourself wanting some getback for those people who betrayed your generosity. You feel you can lure as you were lured, with empty words and carefree promises. And some might fall into your trap, and you might feel a rush from your new approach. But you're only hurting yourself.

I recommend a new openess. Express your feelings freely. Keep being the nice guy that you are. And if the woman doesn't respond, fuck'em. Move on, confident that what you have to offer will find a taker, sooner or later. And even if it never happens, you will have been true to yourself.

But don't give the object[s] of your spurned affections the power to shape the rest of your romantic life.

It's a challenging road, being the nice cat. For a time, I laid down my nice guy ways in the dating realm and found myself driven more by my need for misdirected "revenge" against those who cut me deeply. It is still a tempting alternative sometimes, but I found only more emptiness.

If my generalizations don't apply to you, then I am sorry. But I urge you to be strong enough to be your nice self. It may not pay off for you the way you want, but you will be true to yourself.


[This message was edited Thu Jul 29 22:44:04 2004 by namepeace]

There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy but you have to have a little asshole or a little darkness in you as well....Its all about balance can't go through life being completely or mostly good or bad nice guys gotta get gritty sometimes...

Be nice, but not too nice. If ur too nice, ppl will seriously walk all over U & take serious advantage. Not pleasant when ur on the receiving end.....

ABOUT TIME

HollowellSA said:

J0eyC0c0 said:

Everyone needs to make halftime adjustments. PanthaGirl and Sinister are right, you have to be more protective of your feelings and use discretion as to who gets "access" to you. But by now, or eventually, you should know the type of person who abuses your niceness. Stay away from them.