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my brother and his wife were about 3 weeks past her due date, and unfortunately the baby (Levi) died not long after she started going into labor, presumably he was strangled by the umbilical cord, and i am at my house for the first time since monday. we have been camped out at the hospital, waiting waiting waiting... for the deceased child to be delivered. i gave up tonight, my nerves are fried and i have had little sleep and could not deal with the endless onslaught of members from his church anymore. they are nice enough people, but they are all trying to run the show, all trying to make this tragedy about themselves. in the 2 and a half days i spent at the hospital, i only got into the room to see my sister-in-law 3 times, and only one of those lasted more than a few minutes, because the room was constantly packed with church friends. my mother and other brother and i, being the polite people we are, would just wait for the throng to clear out, assuming as family members, they would respect that we might like to spend some time with them, but they never did.

the only time i was able to spend a few minutes with them was when i had to discuss funeral arrangements with them. the job fell to me because they, being Jehovah's Witnesses, don't really like to see my mother being the power person from our side of the family, and since my peice of shit father has been cut out of the picture, i was left with the unpleasant task.

i have been through a lot of unbelievably painful things in my life, but having to ask my brother and his wife what they wanted me to do with the body of their unborn deceased child is truly the most painful moment of my life. and having to do it in a calm manner and hold off my breakdown untill we were 7 floors below them was... hell... to say the very least. to then follow it up by going to their house and removing (at their request) the baby clothes, supplies and accsesories laid out for levi's trip home was excruciating. the worst was finding the matching Red Wings jerzeys that someone had given them at the baby shower. my brothers and i grew up watching hockey, and being michigan natives, naturally our favorites were the Detroit Red Wings. someone heard aaron and i waxing poetic about it one time, and remembered when it came time for the shower, and ordered a matching set of the official jerseys, both with "BORGMAN" sewn on to the back.

she has now been in labor more than 72 hours, and still has not delivered the baby. because of her religious convictions she won't take blood transfusions, and signed a DNR (Do Not Recesitate) order, the doctors are very scared to perform a cesarian, and my brother and sister-in-law are determined that she will deliver the baby vaginally. because her water has broken and the baby has been dead for 3 days, the body is rapidly decomposing, surrounded by her body temperaure. because she has a decomposing baby in her womb, she has goten a rather severe infection that sent her into a 101 degree fever. so now, on top of the epidural and the medicine that induces labor, she is on an antibiotic as well. and she won't push the baby out. every time she starts to, the pain overwhelms her, and she stops pushing and falls asleep.

and one of their church members barged through the family and stormed into their room and started screaming at the two of them that it was their fault the baby had died because they had gotten a midwife and were planning to do a home birth, and told them that what they got was divine retribution for not listening to her. rather than throwing the bitch down and slamming her head into the floor until she bled as i wanted to do, i calmly but firmly took her by the arm, and pulled her from the room, explaining in a very rage contained voice that in fact, the doctors had repeatedly said that this was not the case, that the baby had probably suffocated just before she went into labor, and that they could not have prevented it either. i then put her into an elevator, waited for the door to close, and punched the metal door.

it's nice to be back in my bed, but i can't sleep. i am waiting for the phone to ring, to tell us that this hellish week is finally over, that she has delivered the baby.

sometimes life really fucking sucks.

so please, if you believe in prayer - pray. if you believe in sending good karmic thoughts - send. whatever it is, it is appreciated. i have found myself praying, something i really don't believe in a whole lot, just because i can't think of anything else to do anymore.

His name is (was) Levi Borgman, and his family is hurting

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[This message was edited Thu Jul 22 0:15:12 2004 by cborgman]
[This message was edited Thu Jul 22 23:25:28 2004 by cborgman]
[This message was edited Thu Jul 22 23:26:04 2004 by cborgman]
[This message was edited Sat Jul 24 10:31:48 2004 by cborgman]

Im sorry to hear about this terrible situation.....I will send a prayer to you and your family

Wow Chris....

I'm sorry to hear this.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Oh borgman, this is terrible.

One of the worst things I have ever heard.

So sorry to hear of your pain. I will send a prayer for your family. This is a hard time for all involved. Try and sleep and know that things will work out.

Holy crap, dude! You and your family will definitely be in my prayers.

thanks guys. it's nice to know i can come back ot this place and still know that there are people who are so compassionate in the world who will send prayers out to someone a world away who they have never met in parson.

it is much appreciated.

i am gonna try and sleep now, i think being on the computer will only keep me up.

Chris our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. May you find peace soon

I'm so sorry to hear this

thank you for being so candid about the situation... it really stinks, and I feel so awful. I'm sorry chris...

I know how you feel and had a similar incident myself. Do you and your family a favor, keep those folks away from your family. All you need is your minister at this point and time. You don't need a bunch of busy bodies getting on your nerves. I sent those folks packing everytime I saw them coming. They will make you loose what patience and manners you have left. I will pray for your family and your strength. It is ok to be selfish sometimes to get your peace of mind back and to heal. Don't let folks start dictating what is in Gods plan. That is not what you need or your family. I recommend fictional and comedies to distract you for a minute. I will not make the pain go away but it will distract you so you can get a moments peace. I continue to Thank the Lord for bringing me through even though I don't feel it. Simply because if I weren't going to make it I know I would not be on this earth. Just start praising him for the blessings! Levi is in His hands! Be Blessed!

i am so sorry to hear about this, Chris. you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Awww shit.

My sister and her husband lost their baby when it was 4 weeks away from being born. She just had a bad feeling and they went to the hospital. They could find no heartbeat of the baby. It was dead... She chose to deliver it natural rather than c section. Imagine giving birth to a baby you know is dead. It had strangled itself with its umbelical cord, the doctor says it was trying to free itself and ended up strangling itself. Plus there was something wrong as baby was underweight. It was a beautiful girl. The hospital took pictures and took a lock of her hair. Today they have 3 children and the youngest is a girl. She is "daddy's little girl". My sister still grieves... It just was not that baby's time to be born yet..... My heart goes out to you. Just be there for those parents that lost their child. If she does not deliver that decaying baby she too can die from the infection.

for Levi. i'm so sorry.

Oh my God, that is truly awful

My thoughts are with you, your family and Levi. I really hope
this terrible situation ends as soon as possible and you all can
get some peace again.

oh jesus christ this is awful.

i cannot fathom the pain everyone is going through during this extreme time. i can only imagine the grief you felt in removing all the baby items from the house, reading it is heart breaking but doing it... my heart goes out to you.

this is such a difficult situation. delivering the baby that had grown and been alive inside of your body - this is tragic.

i have so many things i want to say and suggest but that is not the point.

i am terribly, terribly sorry for what you are all going through. your sister in law is going to be severely depressed due to hormones and tragedy. i feel for her.

i will be praying for all of you. i am so sorry.

luv4u said:

that is really the only consolation there is.

now, mom needs to think about herself, because religious beliefs are good and well in theory but i'm positive no one wants to be burying her as well.

i hope i'm not stepping over a line here, but all this hits a little close to home.

My heart goes out to you and your entire family. You're in my prayers, bro.

I will respectfully leave my anger out of this.....

Chris, I am so sorry you had to experience that nightmare. I certainly have you in my thought and my prayers. Continue to be there for your family and know that we all care about you.

Love you

For Levi (That's a beautiful name)

.
[This message was edited Thu Jul 22 8:00:53 2004 by SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy]

Many prayers to you for strength, and understanding...

Much love to you Chris..

Chris...it sounds like you're doing the best you can in this horrible-beyond-words situation. My prayers, thoughts and love go out to you and your entire family.


<--- For Levi...

Oh, Chris.

I can't imagine the grief that naturally comes with a situation like this. And the fact that there are human beings who are capable of taking such a personal tragedy and making it even more hellish for the family involved is unfathomable.

I'm sending you love and strength and long-distance hugs.


Erin

Chris, my prayers are with you and your family.

luv: good luci to you

i hope your sister in law lives through this experience. i hope she allows the doctors to perform the necessary c-section and give her a transfusion if necessary .. .. i'll pray she survives

my heart goes out to you and your family. Hang in there, Chris

i'm so sorry to hear about this. i really feel for you it sounds like a truly dreadful experience and I wish you all the love, best, peace and harmony that I can muster. I'm proud of you for keeping your cool it takes a lot of courage and for that you deserve praise.

Sending you a whole lot of love,

Jane xXxXx