why did the tomato blush?

because it saw the salad dressing.

lollyp0p said:

whos there ?

ashley said:

I don't know whos there!!!! who's there?


omg am i that drnk i don't get it

this is brill

PoorLittleBastard said:

motherfucker ain't wrong.

bloke walks into a bar with his pet giraffe
orders pint 4 him and a pint 4 his giraffe they down it in 1 and order another ten pints each.after another ten pints the giraffe collapses on the floor and the bloke thinks fuck that i aint carryin him home and walks out,but the barman says hey where u goin u carnt leave that lyin here! and the bloke says it its not a lion its a giraffe.

ashley said:

your silly i like u

WARNING!!! IF UR SENSITIVE GO AWAY NOW!!!

bert & mabel in old folks home bert says 'im leavin u 4 ethel' mabel says 'whys that?' he says 'cos she holds my willy all nite long .....mabels like omfg.so do i !!!!!.....bert says yeh u but u aint got parkinsons ave ya.....

A bloke walks into a bar with a pie on his head. The barman looks all and says, 'Sir, why do you have a pie on your head?' The man replies, 'I always wear a pie on my head on Fridays'. The barman broods on this and says, 'yes, but today is Saturday'. This in turn makes the man highly embarassed and says 'Oh I bet I look a right dickhead!'

JDINTERACTIVE said:

now that.... is funny

whats black and white and looks like a horse?




a zebera

OK i know it's bad!



what do u do if u see a space man?



U park in it man!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

You should ask for a refund....

The Wisdom of a Navajo Man

A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.

During their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them.

"If you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the salesman, "it's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Navajo man is silent for awhile, nods several times and says, "Good trade."


-A Hippie-

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"