This Gino Vanelli song comes pretty close in the horrible lyric pool:

Mama Coco

Mama coco hey you’re lookin heavy
Mama coco ho you’re lookin’ good
Mama coco yes I’ve been getting hungry

Mama coco feed me woman food
I don’t have fancy shacks or multi-colored cadillacs
But I have three months of loneliness
So mama have a drink relax
Mama mama so glad to have you here

I love you mama coco
Mama coco such anticipation
Mama coco mam you’re blowin’ my mind
Mama coco I’m just a male caucasian
Mama coco I’m virgin to your kind

Now don’t get paranoid
I ain’t a horny little mongoloid
All I wanna have is a little bit of love and joy

Mama mama so glad to have you here
I love you mama coco
Mama mama so glad to have you here
I love you mama coco

God, what dreck.

http://www.brunching.com/...yrics.html

Alanis Morissette lyrics generator. Generates miserable pop song lyrics so you can cry all the way to the bank just like Alanis.

Hilariously convoluted (and goofy) Alanis lyrics from the new record:

Every time you raise your voice
I see the greener grass
Every time you run for cover
I see this pasture
Every time we're in a funk
I picture a different choice
Every time we're in a rut
This distant grandeur

Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached
D-days and structure responsibility

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent
I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be

Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers
Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others

All wont be lost if I’m governed by my own uniqueness
Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless
Won’t deem me had if I'm led by my own rulelessness
My fire wont quell and I’ll be harm-free and distressless
Trust me

Line towing, and helping, expectations up to living
Inside box obeying, inside line cutting

Sometimes I think she takes a suffix and builds a whole verse around it. Doesn't matter if it makes sense - it rhymes! (well, kinda).
[This message was edited Thu Jun 3 14:44:50 2004 by VoicesCarry]

VoicesCarry said:

I cant stand that awful woman.To date I think the best thing she's done is Kevin Smith's "Dogma" .And only because she was silent for a change...

prince - animal kingdom.

Blind Man's Penis by John Trubee


I got high last night on LSD
My mind was beautiful, and I was free
Warts loved my nipples because they are pink
Vomit on me, baby
Yeah Yeah Yeah.

A blind man's penis is erect because he's blind
It's erect because he's blind, it's erect because he's blind
A blind man's penis is erect because he's blind
It's erect because he is blind

Let's make love under the stars and watch for UFOs
And if little baby Martians come out of the UFOs
You can fuck them
Yeah Yeah Yeah.

The zebra spilled its plastinia on bemis
And the gelatin fingers oozed electric marbles
Ramona's titties died in hell
And the Nazis want to kill everyone.

A blind man's penis is erect because he's blind ... etc.

This song is not horrible, but it IS goofy....and really cool:

Lemme Take You To The Beach - Frank Zappa

Lemme take you to the beach
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Lemme take you to the beach
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lahhh

Bring the weenies
I'll bring the soft drinks
And the cookies
Everybody's in love!

Lemme take you to a show
Wo-wo-wo -wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo
Lemme take you to a show
Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo~wo-wohhh
Eat a candy!
You are dandy!
Can I kiss you?
Maybe I'll just hold your hand-eeee!

Lemme take you to the beach again
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Lemme take you to the beach again
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lahhh

At the freak out
Later we'll peak out
You're on restriction
So you'll probably sneak out!

Maybe not the worst but definitely down there is :

"This morning I wanted a cup of coffee but I dint have any cream

Last night I wanted some inspiration but I didn't have any dreams"

kdj997 said:

dammit I love those lyrics!

some people just don't get it!

New kids on the block
"Tonight":-


"Remember when we travelled 'round the world,
we met lots of people and girls"

also Milli Vanilli "Girl you no it's true"

Check out spoken intro:- Girl: I really meen that much to u?
Bloke: Girl, u know it's true!


"Girl u know it's true, oh,oh,oh I love u"


All those crack me up! The lyric to the Newkids song is possibally the best line ever (the second one listed that is), what the hell kinda line is that! "We met lots of people AND GIRLS"!

" She is crazy like a fool, daddy daddy cool" -Boney M.

Give me a HO if you've got your funky bus fare…HO

There's a double dutch bus comin' down the street
Movin pretty fast
So kinda shuffle your feet
Get on the bus and pay your fare
And tell the driver that you're
Goin' to a Double Dutch Affair
Fe Fi Fo Fum
Well I'll be darn here it comes
The Double Dutch Bus is on the street
You'd better get off the curb
Move your feet

Bus fare trans-pass
That's the way my money lasts
Ain't got no car to get around
When I go to work I've gotta go downtown
Now I've missed my train
That's a darn shame
When I'm running late no sleep's to blame
If you've gotta wife you know I'm right
Gotta special man well I can understand
Uptown, downtown everybody's getting down
Say uptown say downtown
Well I've missed my bus I know I'm late
I've gotta do something I knio0w I hate
I'm gonna walk to work fifteen blocks
I already got a hole in my socks
Go ahead and laugh that's okay
Cause what I really wanna say
I got bad feet my corns hurt
To top it off I'm lost for work
Let me tell you what I say
When I'm dealing with the funky sidewalk
Let me show you how to walk
When I gotta do my funky walk
Let me tell you what I say
When I'm dealing with the funky sidewalk
I say sssss-sugar

(Rep with children)

Bip, bomp, bam alakazam
But only when you're grooving
With the Double Dutch Man
Put on your skates don't forget your rope
Cause I know I'm gonna see you
At my Double Dutch Show
Rebecca, Lolita, Veshawn and Dawn
Everytime you do the Double Dutch you really turn it on '
Bilzarbra, Mitzery, Milzetty, Kilsan
Titzommy, Kitzerrance, Kilzommy that's my man
Come on get on my Double Dutch Bus
(The Double Dutch Bus)

Let me hear you say do that
(Do that)
Let me hear you say Do that again
(Do that again)
Let me hear you say do the do
Let me hear you say do the do the do
Do the do, do do do do do

"No member of the animal kingdom
nurses past maturity
no member of the animal kingdom
ever did a thing to me
That's why I don't eat no red meat or white fish
no funky funky blue cheese
We're all members of the animal kingdom
leave your brothers and sisters in the sea"

Possibly the worst lyrics ever written by Prince. Made me wanna go out and order a huge steak, and I was damn-near a vegetarian at the time!!!

Hotwax - Beck

It takes a backwash medecine to backwash soul
Like a frying pan when the fire's gone
Driving my pig while the bear's taking pictures
in the grass And my radio's smashed
And I like pianos in the evening sun
Dragging my heals 'til my day is done
Saturday night in the Captain's clothes
Tin horns blowing with my jewelry fros
Yo soy un disco quebrado*
Yo tengo chicle en el cerebro
I can't believe my way back when
My Cadillac pants going much to fast
Karaoke weekend at the suicide shack
Community service and I'm still the mack
Shocked my finger spicing my hand
I been spreading disease all across the land
Beautiful air-conditioned sitting in the kitchen
Wishing I was living like a hit man
Face down in the guarantees
Jaundiced marshalls getting busy with ease
Because I get down I get down I get down all the way
Yo soy un disco quebrado*
Yo tengo chicle en el cerebro
Sawdust songs of the plaid bartenders
Western Unions of the country westerns
Silver foxes looking for romance
In the chain smoke Kansas flashdance ass pants
And you got the hotwax residues
You never lose in your razor blade shoes
Stealing pesos out of my brain
Hazard signs down the Alamo lanes
Radar systems using the souls
You never get caught with the wax so rotten
All my days I got the grizzly words
Hijacked flavors that I'm flipping like birds
Yo soy un disco quebrado*
Yo tengo chicle en el cerebro
who are you?
I'm the enchanting wizard of rhythm
why did you come here?
I came here to tell you about the rhythms of the universe
*chorus translation: "I'm a broken record I have bubblegum in my brain"



Beck once said: ' it's not about what you say, it's about how it sounds!'

Sorry to say, but this TTD lyric is just awful.

The answer is yes
My sweet babe how many times do i have to tell you?
How many ways do i have to find
To tell you that you're mine all mine
Does a moth fly to a flame?
Does a man cling to his name?
Turn your head around my sweet babe
Look at me and

Read my lips i dig your scene
Read my lips i dig your scene
I'm a match and you're kerosene
Read my lips i dig your scene

My precious dear push your coins aside
Draw the veil above your fears
And lay back in the coming tide
Does a player play the game?
Would i seek to cause you pain?
Baby baby baby i'm not a player
I'm your dragon slayer

Read my lips i dig your scene

well.these aren't song lyrics but it sounds just as goofy 2 me.

THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT....
THIS IS THE MALT THAT LAID IN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
THIS IS THE RAT THAT ATE THE MALT THAT LAID IN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
THIS IS THE CAT THAT KILLED THE RAT THAT ATE THE MALT THAT LAID IN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
THIS IS THE DOG WHO WORRIED THE CAT THAT KILLED THE RAT THAT ATE THE MALT THAT LAID IN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
THIS IS THE COW WITH THE CRUMPLED HORN WHO TOSSED THE DOG WHO WORRIED THE CAT THAT KILLED THE RAT THAT ATE THE MALT THAT LAID IN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.

whew!...some of the things i remember from childhood.

avatarfunk said:

LMAO...damn this song is worse than I thought.
These are just terrible.

Bip, bomp, bam alakazam
But only when you're grooving
With the Double Dutch Man
Put on your skates don't forget your rope
Cause I know I'm gonna see you
At my Double Dutch Show
Rebecca, Lolita, Veshawn and Dawn
Everytime you do the Double Dutch you really turn it on '
Bilzarbra, Mitzery, Milzetty, Kilsan
Titzommy, Kitzerrance, Kilzommy that's my man
Come on get on my Double Dutch Bus

Rock Lobster by The B-52's



We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean
Oooo Wooo
His air hose broke
Oooo Wooo
Lots of trouble
Oooo Wooo
Lots of bubble
Oooo Wooo
He was in a jam
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves
Mermaids wavin'
Wavin' to mermen
Wavin' sea fans
Sea horses sailin'
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'
Clam shells clappin'
Muscles flexin'
Flippers flippin'

Down, down

Let's rock!

Boy's in bikinis
Girls in surfboards
Everybody's rockin'
Everybody's fruggin'

Twistin' 'round the fire
Havin' fun
Bakin' potatoes
Bakin' in the sun

Put on your noseguard
Hit on the Lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter

Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jelly fish
There goes a dog-fish
Chased by a cat-fish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal

HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!!!!

MY WIG FELL OFF
Hey, wait a minute
Don't step on it
My toupee is out on the floor
Watch out for my mood ring!
Nineteen button shirts in all the latest designs
I'm wearing all twelve astrological signs
And what's worse?- You know let me tell you about it:

Trying to pass for eighteen
Is a tough thing to do
You can't make it in the disco
When you're forty-two
I been lookin' for love
Every disco in town
My wig's gettin' shaky
My truss is slipping down
My wig fell off
Don't step on it out on the floor
My pacemaker's busted
My Polygrip won't hold no more
These girls laugh
At my fish net shirt
When they call me grandpa
That really hurts
Looked in my mirror
Didn't look forty-two
All that shakin' and sweating
Musta come unglued
My wig fell off
Hand my toupee to me
I'm quitting the disco
I'm almost forty-three

Hey, look out, buddy
Get off my wig
Oops, I didn't -realize
you was quite so big
G-o ahead and keep it
Keep my mood ring, too
Gimme back my denture
Or I'll have to use kung fu- ugh, ugh!
My wig fell off
Hand my toupee to me
I'm quitting the disco
I'm almost forty-three
My wig fell off
My elevator shoes, my hip jewelry
Sell 'em at a yard sale somewhere
Anybody wanna buy all twelve astrological signs?
Anybody wanna buy eighteen button shirts in all the latest designs?
Anybody wanna buy a wig?-- you can have my wig for next to nothin'
I'm quittin' the disco, I'm quitting the disco, y'all
I can't take it no more
Too much heartbreak- too much pain
Too much heartbreak- too much pain
Hey..., I didn't, I didn't see you in this place before...

My God, anything by LFO. Remember "Summer Girls"? I wish I didn't!

Yeah..I like it when the girls stop by...in the summer
Do you remember, do your remember, when we met that summer

~Chorus:~

New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick
And I think its fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch
I'd take her if I had one wish
But she's been gone since that summer...
Verse 1:


Hip Hop Marmalade Spic and Span
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see
The great Larry Bird jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cuz I can't speak baby
Somethin in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer the went back home
Macaulay Culkin was in Home Alone
Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
~Chorus~


Verse 2:

Cherry Pez, Cold Crush, Rock, Stud, Boogie
Used to hate school, so I had to play hookie
Always been hip to the b-boy style
Known to act wild and make a girl smile
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Reminds me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love Hip Hop and Rock &Roll
Dad took off when you where 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
~Chorus~


Verse 3:

In the summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a Hip Hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike
Boogaloo Shrimp and Pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there, oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man, Mr. Limpit
Think about that summer, and I bug cuz I miss it
Like the color Purple, Macaroni and cheese
Ruby red slippers, and a bunch of trees
Call you up but what's the use
I like Kevin Bacon, but i hate Foot Loose
Came in the door, I said it before
I think I'm over you, but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name is Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch
~Chorus~


Verse 4:

Summer girls come, and summer girls go
Some are worth while, and some are so so
Summer girls come, and summer girls go
Some are worth while, and some are so so
Summertime girls got it goin on
Shake and wiggle to a Hip Hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey, like I stole your bike
~Chorus~

And this gem by LFO may be worse than "Summer Girls". You be the judge. Here's "I Will Show You Mine":

I Will Show You Mine
Hook:
Cherry bubblicious and coco-pop

Got you on my mind, and it just won't stop
Tilt-a-whirl, baby girl, Slip and slide
We can swing it left, cuz I think you're fly
Verse 1:

You got the curves, the sway, I can't look away
Girl, you got my pure devotion
With every move you make, I'm so hard I could break
Girl, you're poetry in motion
~Chorus:~

Ohh, baby you know you're drivin' me crazy
But tonight i'm watching every dream I had come true
You say I will show you mine, if you will show me yours
And one by one we're throwing all our clothing on the floor
You say don't blow out the candles, cuz I want you to see
And suddenly you're naked standing right in front of me
Baby I see you
Verse 2:


You got the mouth, the lips
Girl I've got to kiss
All your body's made for pleasure
You make me feel like a man should feel
Like a man of steel, you've got a hidden treasure
~Chorus~

Rap:

Pop rock baby, you don't stop

We got this, met her on the L-train, radiator hotness
Orange tootsie pop, and a colgate smile
Visions in my mind of me and her gettin' wild
Shimmie coco-pop, boogie down, fluffer nutter
Once you get with me, then there will never be another
Come on everybody, let's all get down
I need a real love baby, won't you please come around
~Chorus~


@ HOOK: Cherry bubblicious and coco pop!

And O-Town's "Liquid Dreams" just disgusts me!

Posters of love surrounding me, I'm lost in a world of fantasy
Every night she comes to me and gives me all the love I need

Now this hot girl, she's not your average girl
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine
And she's so fine designed to blow your mind
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child
Just a little touch Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile, throw in a body like Jennifer's
You've got the star of my liquid dream

Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss in the dark
Underneath Cindy C's beauty mark
When it comes to the test well Tyra's the best
And Salma Hayek brings the rest

Now this hot girl, she's not your average girl
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine
And she's so fine designed to blow your mind
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child
Just a little touch Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile, throw in a body like Jennifers'
You've got the star of my liquid dreams

Looks ain't everything she's got the sweetest personality
Like Halle B
My mama thinks I'm lazy, my friends all think I'm crazy
But in my mind, I leave the world behind every night I dream
Oh..

Liquid Dreams, my Liquid Dreams
Waterfalls and streams, these liquid dreams

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child
Just little touch of Madonna's wild style
With Janet Jackson's smile
Throw in a body like Jennifer's
You've got the star of my liquid dreams
My liquid dreams

flipwilson said:

They Might Be Giants have plenty of goofy lyrics, but this one's near the top:

Shoehorn With Teeth

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair but he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

Tour the world in a heavy metal band
But they run out of gas
The plane can never land

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?

He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

theVelvetRoper said:

BAAAHAAA I can't stop laughing at this....unreal

They may not be the goofiest but there in the running for most ignorant.Is this what happened to rap?

artist(being nice) BOO GOTTI

Yo, I got a empire with ni__as with thug in they blood
I admire dem ni__as, My desire is figgas
Rockland bitch, why hire some killas?
Gotti heat like hail son and fire dem ni__as
Pop off 2 clips, Top off new six
Rock frost blue wrist, still cop two bricks
Cook crack in the pot, Push pats on the block
Cock the glock, pop up like jack in a box
He crazy insane, mommys say loco
I even push 'caine when the blow is slow
And when the dough got low, I got the high 'fo
Back in the same hood on the block for 'mo
Doorags, saggin pants, I'm baggin grams
Ni__as smokin the joke, and den laughin at
"What if I get to blast a man?"
Aw shit! Boo watch out!

da-da-deee da-do-dau
da-da-deee da-do-dau

kdj997 said:

Close! But the real answer is "Give back the chains! If you don't you'll die! Nothing should come between you & I!"

Also R.Kelly "You remind me of my jeep"

theVelvetRoper said:

This isn't goofy, just plain awful.

The Frogs - I'm Sad The Goat Just Died Today

I'm sad because my goat just died today
I'm sad my goat just fell in the hay, hey
We're all sad the goat just died today, well, well, well
We're sad enough to cry, cry-ay-ay-ay
Sad the goat just died tonight
We're sad, his funeral's gonna be out of sight
We're so sad, but in a way we're happy
He didn't suffer too much
He only got the cramps once
Sad, oh, the piece of poop wouldn't come out of his belly
Sad, we had to call Doc Nelly
We're sad