'Blender' Names 50 Worst Songs

NEW YORK - According to Blender Magazine, "Don't Worry, Be Happy," and "Dancing on the Ceiling," may have been catchy tunes and big hits, but they still stink.

The music magazine is publishing its list of the 50 worst songs in its May issue. The songs were selected for "crap-tastic melodies," were poorly performed, or just didn't make any sense to the folks at the magazine.


Starship's "We Built This City," from 1985 topped the list. "The truly horrible sound of a band taking the corporate dollar while sneering at those who take the corporate dollar," the magazine said of the tune.


Billy Ray Cyrus "Achy Breaky Heart" was second, followed by Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight." "If this song was a party, you'd lock yourself in a bathroom and cry," quipped Blender.


Rounding out the top ten worst songs ever are Huey Lewis and the News with "The Heart of Rock and Roll," "Don't Worry, Be Happy," by Bobby McFerrin (news), Eddie Murphy (news)'s "Party All the Time," "American Life," by Madonna (news - web sites) and "Ebony and Ivory," the duet by Stevie Wonder (news) and Paul McCartney (news).


The post-Sept. 11 anthem "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue," by Toby Keith (news) was Number 22. The magazine says Keith's song was "so vengeful, it makes 'The Star-Spangled Banner' sound like 'Give Peace a Chance.'"


Even The Beatles made the list with "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," which the magazine said sounded like "the desperately chirpy songs Cockneys used to sing to keep their spirits up while the Luftwaffe rained death on them during the Blitz."

I really can't take Blender seriously after their last "Top 50" list, the Top 50 Worst Artists Of All Time.

And I guess they haven't heard Joyce .

PS: Anyone else think these endless Top 50 lists are pretty damn stupid?

VoicesCarry said:

purplegypsy said:

Okay, I hate Blender, but that was funny.

And they stole my word!!!! CRAPTASTIC!!!!

I guess I'm just going to have to start using "sucktacular" from now on....

VoicesCarry said:

They may be stupid but they are quite entertaining!!

I love the comment about "We Built This CIty" I never liked that song. Talk about radio overkill back in 1985!

VoicesCarry said:

Has anybody heard Joyce?

theVelvetRoper said:

Only in my dreams

Anxiety said:

Or craptacular.

I think i'm the only person in the entire universe who ever defends Ebony and Ivory, but it's got a great melody in this irrelevant Frog's opinion.

AMERICAN LIFE IS A GOOD SONG!


NOTTTTT!

i like american life. and the awful rap adds a comic relief moment, lol!

purplegypsy said:

theVelvetRoper said:

Yeah, what happened to her? I think Janet distracted us all!

Sdldawn said:

Yeah, that's great too.

purplegypsy said:

How can people hate a song that wasn’t even played on radio? If bad a song gets played in the woods and there is nobody there to hear it...

VinnyM27 said:

Think of the trees! Think of the poor trees.

Where is "Hot Hot Hot"

I agree with "The Heart Of Rock & Roll" Good lawd..

my most hated though would be right now.. "Takin Care Of Business"

TheFrog said:

I really like Ebony and Ivory as a song, but its the song's message and its video that makes it a scam.

Im pretty sure its the reason its in this pointless Top50 chart but E+I's video was not shot with Paul or Stevie together, their parts in the video were shot separately and edited in to make it look like they were there together...

Then listen to the songs message...

How do you go from "White Rabbit" and "Somebody To Love" to "We Built This City On Rock and Roll"????

JeezUS.

Supernova said:

I agree.Ive been "studying" the Airplane's albums lately and I feel that the decline of the Starship ( or should I say "into the Starship" ) damaged their reputation greatly.I would say that Jefferson Airplane was one of the best groups of the 60s .Not as important as the Beatles , or the Stones or Jimi Hendrix , but influential nonetheless.However , they barely get a mention today.

To be fair tho, only Grace Slick was involved with the abomination mentioned above.By that time ,the REAL band (Jorma Kaukonen& JACK CASADY!) had long since moved on.

MrTation said:

Slick was the only original member of Starship? I didn't realize that. That explains a lot. I knew Craig Chaquico and Mickey Thomas were new members, but didn't know Grace was the lone original ranger by then.

Supernova said:

By 1973, Jefferson Airplane was done.Paul Kantner formed Jefferson Starship with Slick and Chaquico a year or two later.Airplane founder Marty Balin joined them for a time as well, along with Papa John Creach on fiddle.

Actually, this period wasn't that bad (just a bit sappy: "Miracles").

Their low point was in the 80s when Kantner left ( taking the "Jefferson" with him)leaving Thomas to his cookie cutter 80s pop,and making Slick and Chaquico guilty by association.

Blender is a shitty rag.

Cloudbuster said:

yes!!!!! darn stupid.

I agree with some of their choices...


"Dancing On The Ceiling" by Lionel Ritchie
"We Built This City" by Starship


those songs are unforgivable

MrTation said:

I love "Sara". Sure, their 80s stuff was pop shit, but some of it was fun nonetheless.

dude, i was just about to post this myself!

i like a lot of these songs. most of them, in fact, are simple, fun, innocuous little tunes.

let's do better next time, blenderheads!!

i do agree w/ their number one choice, however.

silly, silly song.

Whats funny is, I went to Best Buy last night & they were playing all of these songs!