This guy can't be serious , n'est ce pas?
(5 stars) in my opinion, a pop/rock masterpiece, November 1, 2003
Reviewer: Jeffrey Bedard (see more about me) from Lewiston, ME
"LET GO is an incredible piece of rock music from one of the best new voices I've heard. For a long time I've privately lambasted modern acts for not having anything new to say or a new way to say it. Avril Lavigne's album is a bright silver lining on an ever darkening cloud. Avril's voice is the most striking feature of the entire album. From hard rock, acoustic pop and balladry, she can sing it all and hits each note full and strong. Her versatile singing is shown to best effect on my favorite song of hers, "I'm With You." Her melodies are creative and all catchy, even on the darker sounding songs. This is an album which will not sound horribly dated in years to come. The production is clear and vibrant. Avril is a musician to watch. I'm eager to hear her second album. "

If you have time to lose, post yours about anyone/ anything..
*
[This message was edited Mon Nov 3 13:44:56 PST 2003 by jn2]

jn2 said:

Good thing Amazon.com user reviews aren't graded or else everyone would receive a big FAT F!

Is it me or do amazon.com user reviewers tend to overcompensate with the stars?

Oh, this guy is FAMOUS. Here are some more. Absolutely hilarious:



The Last Temptation ~ Ja Rule
5 Stars
TRUE gangsta rap!!

A lot of people think Ja and Murder, Inc. are wack. But they got it all wrong. Ja Rule is real, true HARDCORE hip hop with some serious beats and mad flava. He's got more skills than Em, 50, DMX and all those other fake wannabe thugz. My only complaint is this record doesn't have any tracks featuring Justin Timberlake. But this record is so tight, I didn't mind. Ja Rule is LEGIT and is givin' it to you straight from the streets. Don't listen to the haters who try to bring him down.


Senorita [CD-SINGLE] [IMPORT] [ENHANCED] ~ Justin Timberlake
5 Stars
J Dawg does it one more time with another classic!

I don't see how anyone could give this less than 5 stars. All the Motown artists owe a HUGE debt to Justin Timberlake for his amazing contribution to music. Yeah, I know Justin got dissed by Ashton what's-his-last-name on that MTV show Punk'd, but Ashton is a straight up loser, mainly because he's dating a woman who's a hundred years older than he is. But getting back to Justin: this single is awesome. In 50 years time, Justin's legacy and influence will live on, while Ashton will likely grow old and fat and penniless.


The Writing's on the Wall ~ Destiny's Child
5 Stars
Destiny's Child: the ORIGINAL all girl group

Forget what you heard about Diana Loss and the Supremes. Destiny's Child is the world's premier all girl group. Beyonce is a TRUE artist who would pave the way for a ton of wannabe divas like Diana Loss, who desperately wants to be just like her. This is a classic album that will soon go down as a masterpiece. Trust me, in 100 years time, everybody will be humming to "Bills Bills Bills" while overrated fluff like the Supremes' "Baby Love" will be long forgotten. Trust me on this, because I am never wrong.


Heavier Things ~ John Mayer
1 Star
wimpy

John Mayer looks like the loser from high school you bullied every day and took lunch money from. Believe me, if I could give this garbage lower than one star, I would. He's just getting by on Grammy hype and is NOT at all talented. This album deserves to flop.


Full Moon ~ Brandy
1 Star
Blandy

Brandy is about as bad as you can get for an R&B singer. She's ugly and has a big forehead and can't sing. Worse, her idea of a role model is Whitney "Crack Is Wack!" Houston. This record is just abhorrent. Janet Jackson is mucho better.


Justin Timberlake - Justified: The Videos (2003) DVD ~ Justin Timberlake
5 Stars
outstanding video collection from an amazing musical GENIUS

Justin Timberlake is an artistic genius whose masterpiece "Justified" brought back the soul in R&B. His style is extremely influential, as new artists like Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder desperately try to imitate him. But they can't touch Justin, because he's the REAL THING!! This video collection is the DVD we've all been waiting for, and the clips show that Justin is more than a pretty boy singing stupid love songs in NSYNC. I bought this DVD today, and it hasn't left my player ever since. Don't be fooled by wannabe artists who bite Justin's flava. Timberlake is a TRUE artist and an innovator of REAL soul.


diana [Deluxe Edition] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED] ~ Diana Ross
1 Star
lame album from a Beyonce wannabe

I was listening to this at a record store, and I almost fell to the floor because this sounds so much like a Beyonce record. Granted, Diana ain't no spring chick, but that doesn't mean she should try to copy Beyonce, who is a TRUE diva. I would avoid this and get Beyonce's "Dangerously in Love" instead. I'm sorry, but Diana is just too old.


This Is Me...Then ~ Jennifer Lopez
5 stars
five stars is not enough

Jennifer Lopez is a fearless and bold musical artist. This album is bangin' with beats and sharp lyrics that reflect the maturity of this accomplished 33 year old woman. Aside from Kylie, J. Lo is the most talented singer since Paula Abdul. "This Is Me...Then" is pure genius and will be remembered in 50 years time, long after phonies Tori, Fiona, and Alanis are forgotten.


Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) DVD ~ Spencer Tracy
1 Star
overrated movie with Sidney Poitier and Katherine Heartburn

This movie is a mess. Bad acting, bad casting, and an unbelievable plot. Black people do NOT talk like Sidney Poitier. Maybe if Bernie Mac played Sidney's role the movie would be more convincing. Plus, the whole interracial dating thing in movies has been done before. "Jungle Fever" and "Monster's Ball" are better movies and both feature Halle Berry, who is a better actress than Katherine Heartburn could ever hope to be. I'm serious, here.


( ) ~ Sigur Rós
1 Star
oh, give me a break

Now here's a marketing ploy I haven't heard before: let's give our album a title nobody can even pronounce! That will trick people into thinking we're "intellectual" and "ironic" and they'll buy our album! And we'll get a 4-star review in Rolling Stone! Sorry, lads, but I didn't fall for it. This is another HUGELY overrated album whose creativity starts, and ends, with the album cover. Where's the music? Well, you won't find it here, that's for sure. Stick with Janet Jackson, folks. At least her albums have titles you can pronounce.


Rock Your Body [CD-SINGLE] [IMPORT] ~ Justin Timberlake
5 Stars
my dawg Justin has done it again

If it weren't for Justin Timberlake, there would be no Stevie Wonder, no Al Green, and definitely NO Michael Jackson, who desperately wants to be like him. Justin Timberlake is THE originator of soul music, and with the help of Timbaland and the Neptunes, he has recorded one of the greatest albums of all time: "Justified." Speaking of "Justified", this single is from that album, and it sounds amazing. Don't listen to the haters who call Justin a phony white kid in NSYNC. He is as real as soul singers come. This single is so good, it'll blow ya mind.


Songs in the Key of Life [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED] ~ Stevie Wonder
1 Star
Justin Timberlake rip-off

I was listening to this album at some party, and I almost died in shock because Stevie Wonder blatantly copies Justin Timberlake on this record. The music sounds EXACTLY like Justin's "Justified" CD. The music, the vocals, the lyrics: everything!! It's sad we live in a day and age where artists like Stevie Wonder have NO originality and try to rip off an artistic genius like Justin Timberlake. I'm sure Justin would be fuming if he heard this album, because it copies his style right down to a T. Don't get me wrong, Stevie does have promise, but next time around he should strive for something a little more original.


Breathe ~ Faith Hill
1 Star
this is NOT an R&B record!

One of my homiez told me about this singer called Faith who sings hip hop and her producer is P. Dummy. I got her CD, and it was NOT what I expected! It's country music, and not only that, it's BAD country music. Come to find out, this isn't the Faith that was married to Biggie but the Faith that sang that yucky "Pearl Harbor" song "There You'll Be." Oh well, at least I can give this disc to my pit bull as a chewing toy. But everyone else should watch out--this is NOT an R&B record!


Off the Wall [Bonus Tracks] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED] [EXTRA TRACKS] ~ Michael Jackson
4 Stars
this is almost better than Justin Timberlake!

This album is so funky, it's almost better than Justin Timberlake's "Justified" (and that's saying a lot). Michael Jackson was a really cool singer, and this is a great collection of songs that were clearly influenced by Justin Timberlake. I don't blame Jacko for wanting to be like Justin, though. If you're gonna steal ideas from an artist, you may as well steal from the best! Anyhow, "Off the Wall" is a good album.


Nevermind ~ Nirvana
5 Stars
wow! this is even better than Janet Jackson

Kurt Cobain was a great songwriter. In fact, he was so good, he was even more talented than Janet Jackson. "Nevermind" is the album that made them millions and made them stars. We miss you, Kurt!

thanks Ellie

HAH! I love the Justin Timberlake piece!

These are my favourite reviews...right here...

Maggot Brain - Funkadelic

I Simply Can't Understand It..., October 1, 2003
Reviewer: WILLIE A YOUNG II (see more about me) from Houston, TX.
1 Star

...but something about this LP continues to repel me. After spending some more time with it and listening very closely to the whole affair, my opinion has not changed. Eddie Hazel's guitar work just doesn't appeal to me. The title track always depresses me and sends me running for some Beatles, Parliament or Nick Drake. Anything...is better than this mess of an album. I can't explain it, but "Maggot Brain" remains one of the worst releases I've ever heard. Maybe it's a mental thing, but to me, this shouldn't even exist, let alone be called a masterpiece, just my humble opinion. I will never listen to this again...it just has a weird, unnerving effect on me. Strange.


FALSE ADVERTISING!, July 17, 2000
Reviewer: A music fan from Wisconsin, U.S.A.
2 Stars

i was very disappointed when i purchased this album, since i already had some of george clinton's other work (including the awesome Parliament's Funkentelechy VS. The Placebo Syndrome). Even the most musically illiterate people would know that this is not funk. From the monotonous title track which is just one long Pink Floyd-esque guitar solo stretching ten minutes to the long and uninspired "Wars of Armageddon" everything is under average Clinton. The only exception is the interesting and somewhat acoustic "Can You Get To That". I respect George Clinton's attempt to get serious, but what's the point if the outcome is worthless? Do yourself a favor and buy a Parliament album instead.




[This message was edited Mon Nov 3 13:58:30 PST 2003 by MaggotBrain]

Blue ~ Joni Mitchell
3 stars
not as good as Janet Jackson, but she's getting there November 2, 2003

I dig Joni Mitchell. She's just alright. She still remains in the shadow of Janet Jackson, but over time, I think Mitchell will really come into her own. This is a really good album, even though it gets boring in some spots. But I think if she stays focused and works more on her lyrics, she'll be just as great as Janet Jackson. This I can be sure of.




Spice ~ Spice Girls
5 stars
yes! the Spice Girls RULE!! November 2, 2003

I listen to this CD every morning when I wake up and it gets me in such a perky mood. It's a fantastic album from the most talented British singers in history!! "Wannabe" is the work of TRUE genius and it's so original. Sporty, Scary, Baby, Ginger, and Posh could give the Beatles a run for their money ANY DAY. If all singers were as honest and as talented as the Spice Girls, the world would be such a better place. I'm so glad I got this album and you should get it too!



Luther Theatrical Release
1 star

Luther Vandross is NOT in this movie! October 15, 2003

Somebody told me that this was going to be a documentary on soul sensation Luther Vandross, the most talented R and B singer next to Justin Timberlake. Instead, it's an overrated art house bore with no special effects, cool stunts, or even an appearance by Halle Berry. Skip this and rent "Friday" instead.





The Bends ~ Radiohead
1 star

I would give this 5 stars, but. . . September 25, 2003

. . . it's Radiohead, the dullest and most overrated group this side of the Beatles. What's the big whoop with these wankers, anyway? Their music stinks!! Rumor had it there's a hidden bonus track that's a duet with Kylie, but I didn't find any such song on this album. That's unfortunate because if this record has Kylie in it, I'd give "The Bends" five stars in a heartbeat. But it's just another album of mopey Brit rock so the best I can do is give this is one star. Oops!



Casablanca (Two-Disc Special Edition) (1942) DVD ~ Humphrey Bogart
1 star

"Gigli" is MUCH better than this August 28, 2003

This is one of the most overrated movies ever...Bogart is just not a very good actor, and the whole movie sounds dated and it drags forever. For a REAL American masterpiece, you have to turn to "Gigli," featuring J. Lo and Ben Affleck, who are already on their way to becoming the Spencer Tracy and Katherine Heartburn of our generation.

.
[This message was edited Mon Nov 3 14:20:02 PST 2003 by minneapolisgenius]

This Is Me...Then ~ Jennifer Lopez
5 stars
five stars is not enough

Jennifer Lopez is a fearless and bold musical artist. This album is bangin' with beats and sharp lyrics that reflect the maturity of this accomplished 33 year old woman. Aside from Kylie, J. Lo is the most talented singer since Paula Abdul. "This Is Me...Then" is pure genius and will be remembered in 50 years time, long after phonies Tori, Fiona, and Alanis are forgotten.

JANFAN4L said:

It seems to me this is largely a product of the times in which we live. People have so many ways of sampling all of the songs on a project prior to purchase these days. If, after sampling a CD, people decide to purchase it, they will likely give it a four- or five-star rating. If the CD does not sound appealing, people just don't buy it -- and most people don't bother to spend time reviewing projects that they deemed unworthy of investment.

these reviews made my day! thanks for posting them all!

Ellie said:

Glad know of those are mine. I used to like writing reviews on there but for some reason I keep writing one for "Erotica" that never gets posted. Kind of gave up on it.

And the fucking one for "Diana" is insane for about 10 reasons and it is so short! Could you imagine if they went on! "And she is no Janet Jackson"...I realize it is probably a joke but I hate the fact that these people don't even listen to the albums. I heard one song on the radio indeed.

And the Faith Hill one. Stop it!




[This message was edited Tue Nov 4 7:25:48 PST 2003 by VinnyM27]

Ellie said: