Tuesday, July 8, 2003

Beyonce Sounds Dangerously Quite Good

By Malcolm X Abram
Beacon Journal staff writer

DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE
Beyonce

By Malcolm X Abram

Beacon Journal staff writer

Dear Ms. Lopez,

First let me say I really enjoyed your work on In Living Color, and it's those fond memories of your formidable gyrations that have prompted me to write and warn you.

I know you're feeling pretty good right about now. You've got that doughy hunk Ben Affleck on your arm and the multiplatinum success of your boring sophomore CD and your continuing movie career. Good for you. But I'm wondering if you hear the juggernaut coming up behind you.

Her name is Beyonce, and I'm sure you know her from Destiny's Child, the group her father and business manager Mathew Knowles put together, raising her to be the focal point. You may not realize this, but she's coming after you. She's just as photogenic as you are, and has no qualms about highlighting her easy-on-the-eyes form or wearing skimpy clothes, as evidenced by the four two-panel glamour shots made available in the booklet of her debut solo disc, Dangerously In Love. She's even half of an ``It'' couple just like you.

Dangerously In Love is no masterpiece, but it is a funky, lightweight collection of contemporary R&B that will fly off store shelves. Perhaps you've heard the lead single Crazy In Love featuring her boyfriend Jay-Z, who gets writing credits on five songs, though he appears on only two. That song, with its sampled Chi-Lites horn loop and syncopated beat, is an undeniable club banger and the only upbeat tune on the disc.

Mostly Beyonce, who co-wrote and co-produced much of the disc, sings about love, good and bad. With considerable help from producer Scott Storch (Snoop Dogg, Busta Rhymes and The Roots to name a few), Beyonce has tapped into the right-now sound of commercial R&B radio.

Did I mention that she can actually sing? The success of folks like you, my dear Jenny Lo-Lo, and the tone-deaf Amerie prove that singing talent isn't necessary but it is certainly a bonus. Beyonce has definitely improved as a singer and she's discovering the merits of actual melodies. She's learned a little about restraint and she's found a breathy sexy, kittenish voice, which she uses to good effect on the Middle Eastern-flavored Naughty Girl and the dirty funk-infused Hip Hop Star featuring Outkast's Big Boi.

She borrows a little too heavily from past greats. The aforementioned Naughty Girl ``interpolates'' Donna Summer's Love to Love You Baby, and That's How You Like It uses lyrics from Switch's I Like It. The old school-style funk ballad Be With You takes its verse melody from Strawberry Letter 23 and its chorus from Bootsy's I'd Rather Be With You, which I think we both can agree is pretty lame. Unfortunately, for you and other old fogies like me, many fans who are Beyonce's age or younger won't notice or care.

Her ruminations on love are just about right for a 21-year-old. She has no keen insights on emotions our interpersonal relationships to offer. But come to think of it, J.Lo, you wrote a song about your fiancee that was awfully corny, and Ashanti is a young superstar whose lyrics consist primarily of cooed ``oh baby's.''

Me, Myself and I (which is built on actual chords rather than just beats) will have jilted young women all over the country feeling empowered. Speechless, another sparse ballad, should have the unjilted staring dreamily into their lovers' eyes.

Ms. Lopez, I'm no hater and I'm certainly not trying to start any beef between you two. I just thought you should know because I'm not sure there's room at the top for two light-skinned R&B divas with prodigious buttocks and long hair. You probably have a lot on your mind, what with your eventual marriage (third time's a charm, girl!) and all.

But you should be aware that Beyonce's father, to whom she sings a sickly sweet ode on a hidden bonus track, will ensure that his baby girl is inescapable for the next several months. I'd hate to see a moderate talent like yourself be swept aside by the Beyonce fever Dangerously In Lovewill surely create.

Cat Fight! lol

that's pretty funny, but i mean J-Lo always has acting(not the greatest but...) and/singing.. Beyonce can sing better, but J-lo can act in movies better. i wouldn't even compare the 2 just because they are 'lightskinned with long hair and protigious buttocks'doesn't exactly put them in the same category.
nevertheless that was a funny post

Did a grow person write this?

I love Beyonce.

Please, a letter like that does not dictate what will get to the top of the charts. Sounds like the person got it in for J.Lo and why? From the outside, yes Beyonce and J.LO are almost two of a kind, and for the people buying those records, well, that's just all that really matters. J.Lo, no matter how low some people might think she is, will be focusing on other things besides music and movies, which she's already invested in, even if some other young pop star tries to push her out of the way, and I'm not in for no hateful letters for NO apparent reason either, even if it was kinda meant to be funny, so...
[This message was edited Fri Jul 11 20:41:03 PDT 2003 by Starmist7]

Was this sent to her? There's difference btwn writing and sending

Shoot, J-Lo, Be, Ashanti, Aaliyah (yes, STILL!), Mariah, Kelly Rowland, Monica, and to a lesser extent, Mya, have shared pieces of that "cutie" pie for a few years now. For someone to promote this image of one "coming after" the other.

Actually, Meshell, Res, Missy et al. are making better records than the "redbones."