Her Toenail clippings are sold as boomerangs

that Babies still can't Climb Out.

wherever you sit in the room you're next to her.

When she gets a cut, she bleeds Crisco.

that a SUV can't Hold Her.

...When she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

heheheh

Your momma's got so many cats in her house, them shits all get together and form Voltron.

she wears hula hoops around her ankles to hold up her socks.

...she uses a queen-sized mattress 4 a maxi-pad.

She jumped in mid-air and got stuck.

that when She jumps people think it's a Bomb going off.

Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.
Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.
Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."
Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.
Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.
Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.
Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.
Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.
Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.
Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.
Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.
Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass.
Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a fuckin' dog.

Much love Pochacco

Yo mama's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levi's?"
Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors.
Yo mama's so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.
Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.
Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop.
Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
Yo mama's so stupid, she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box.
Yo mama's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.
Yo mama's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got shot running to the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.
Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.
Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama's so stupid, she married Yo daddy.
Yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."
Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.
Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know".
Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clock-radio.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post office.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thailand was a men's clothing store.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the Internet was something you catch fish with.
Yo mama's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took lessons for a player piano.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to insult you and started with "Yo mama's so..."
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo mama's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.
Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!"
Yo mama's so stupid, she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said "I think I'll take the physical challenge."
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.
Yo mama's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit.
Yo mama's so stupid, she wouldn't know up from down if she had three guesses.
Yo mama's so stupid, the bitch snuck on the bus and paid to get off.
Yo mama's so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her two front teeth.
Yo mama's so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd grade.
Yo mama's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F, and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mama's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she said "Ok, but what's the teams?"
Yo mama's so stupid, when I gave her a dollar and asked for a quater back, she gave me Dan Marino.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled Macy's wrong."
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the small one's are gone."
Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.
Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and got toilet paper.
Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.

Much love Pochacco

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Dayum! That's just wrong!

Pochacco said:

stop reading from tha book of snaps, and git ya own

Yo mama so stoopid, I told her to take the 4 Train & she took the 2 Train twice.

Yo mamma so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped yo mamma!

Yo mamma so tall, she did a cartwheel and she kicked Jesus!

Yo mamma so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Yo mamma so stupid, she went to White Castle and asked where the king was!! hahahahahahahaha!

Mmmmoohoohooahahahahahahahaha...

Yall so poor, yall use a cigarette as a light
[This message was edited Thu May 15 9:59:53 PDT 2003 by paisleypark4]

Yo mam is so ugly she used 2 b rich, but when the government saw her, they put her back on welfare checks

she wore a 'Malcolm X' jacket and helecopters tried to land on her back...

Yo mama got 1 leg talkin 'bout "Aint No Half Steppin!"