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Reply #30 posted 05/28/15 8:33am

BlackCat1985

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BobGeorge909 said:

mancabdriver said:



BobGeorge909 said:


SoulAlive said:

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin




Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.


There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.


BURN!


Ahem.


1. John Legend


I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend


2. Keith Sweat


Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.


Speaking of that singer…


3. Carl Thomas


No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.


4. Slim from 112


From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly


Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.


5. Ameriie


This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.


6. Mary J. Blige


Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!


7. Alicia Keys


I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?


8. Ralph Tresvant


This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.


9. musiq aka The Husel


My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.



All these people sing better than janet jackson.


You're obsessed by her. Must be a closet fan.


Nah....she cool...but faaaaar from obsessed. I dont know how u drew that conclusion. Lol. Can't sing a lick but pretty as hell. I made comments on a Janet thread...but they're not flattering.

But why do you single Janet out then? This comment applies to so many others. But yet you only say her.
BlackCat1985
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Reply #31 posted 05/29/15 9:14am

2freaky4church
1

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D'Angelo cannot sing. Yea, I said the shit. Fuckers.

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #32 posted 05/29/15 2:43pm

BobGeorge909

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BlackCat1985 said:

BobGeorge909 said:


Nah....she cool...but faaaaar from obsessed. I dont know how u drew that conclusion. Lol. Can't sing a lick but pretty as hell. I made comments on a Janet thread...but they're not flattering.

But why do you single Janet out then? This comment applies to so many others. But yet you only say her.

I presume it's cuz she was on my mind cuzza the other thread. There was a person so defensive on the other thread of miss jacksons talent...i took this opportunity for anoter swift jab. They might have took a peek around this corner and got caught.
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Reply #33 posted 05/29/15 9:09pm

starbelly

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2freaky4church1 said:

D'Angelo cannot sing. Yea, I said the shit. Fuckers.

Now y'all just trippin! lol

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Reply #34 posted 05/31/15 12:09pm

thetimefan

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Is this dude flame baiting with his blog post or did he write it just for the lol I haven't really heard much of Ameriie, but the others for sure can sing. Just that they might not be to everyone's taste.

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Reply #35 posted 05/31/15 2:22pm

dancerella

TD3 said:

Mr. Legend career is a mystery to me, zero talent. confused (IMHO)





None of these people on this list would have been signed a record label in the 50's 60', 70's? Hell no. Put any of these people in front of an audience .... Apollo in New York, Regal, in Chicago, in Philly, or Memphis. The "singer" would have been thrown off the stage not booed off. Mary J, Blige, who's been in the game for a while, ol' girl still has a hard time singing on key. disbelief




John Legend is so boring to me. I don't understand his appeal. Is it simply because he's "safe" and clean cut? Non threatening? ?
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Reply #36 posted 05/31/15 2:25pm

dancerella

Keith Sweat may not be a great vocalist in the traditional sense, but i like his vocal stylings. It's different and distintive.
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Reply #37 posted 06/01/15 2:47pm

chriss

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Rihanna - her voice annoys me...

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Reply #38 posted 06/01/15 3:09pm

Genesia

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100% dead-ass accurate.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #39 posted 06/04/15 2:25pm

Hamad

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I loved Mary J's voice when she used to stick to her vocal limits.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/QLH82
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Reply #40 posted 06/06/15 8:59am

midnightmover

Keith Sweat has a great voice and he uses it well. I understand it might not be to everyone's taste, but you can't fault him technically and it's got a lot of character.

John Legend is shit. Complete and total shit. If I ever needed a cabaret act to play background music at a supper club I'd probably book him. But I'd be hoping the chatter of the customers drowned him out.

When I first read this thread title the first artist I thought of was Madonna. Pretty much everyone on this list can outsing her.

[Edited 6/6/15 9:20am]

“The man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them, inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.”
- Thomas Jefferson
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Reply #41 posted 06/06/15 3:48pm

phunkdaddy

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I think Chocolate 1 definitely wrote the analysis of Mary J. Blige particularly the

part of asking her to sing at your church. lol

Off that list I think Alicia Keys is definitely the most talented imo. She just hasn't had that

consistency since Diary but she's had a few fine tracks since just not a great album since.

I got burned out by Keith's nasal whiney voice back in the mid 90's.

Musiq Soulchild now known as Burger King put out good product but word is he's not a good

live act. John Legend is hit or miss with me. He's certainly not a great singer by any means but I believe he's more

talented than other acts out on the market now.

Don't laugh at my funk
This funk is a serious joint
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Reply #42 posted 06/06/15 7:29pm

vainandy

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It doesn't matter if they can sing or not. Even if someone had the best voice in the world, if they ain't making no actual jams, then it's boring as hell.

Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #43 posted 06/06/15 7:55pm

phunkdaddy

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vainandy said:

It doesn't matter if they can sing or not. Even if someone had the best voice in the world, if they ain't making no actual jams, then it's boring as hell.



Quit fronting Vain. You know your ass be home on some Saturday nights listening
to your Malaco Records artists Denise LaSalle and Little Milton. lol
Good to see you back dude.
Don't laugh at my funk
This funk is a serious joint
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Reply #44 posted 06/12/15 3:18pm

Cinny

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vainandy said:

It doesn't matter if they can sing or not. Even if someone had the best voice in the world, if they ain't making no actual jams, then it's boring as hell.

lol

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Reply #45 posted 06/16/15 7:47pm

SoulAlive

rolleyes you're missing the whole point of this article.First of all,the focus is on R&B singers and secondly,it's a list of singers that people swear can sing.Nobody walks around saying that Madonna is another Aretha or Patti nuts Even her hardcore fans don't hype her up like that.

midnightmover said:


When I first read this thread title the first artist I thought of was Madonna. Pretty much everyone on this list can outsing her.

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Reply #46 posted 06/17/15 9:27am

SoulAlive

vainandy said:

It doesn't matter if they can sing or not. Even if someone had the best voice in the world, if they ain't making no actual jams, then it's boring as hell.

lol true

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Reply #47 posted 06/17/15 5:52pm

Adisa

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How did I know Ralph was going to be on this list? lol Because, I've been telling y'all. And to be real about it, it's not so much that he can't sing as much as that he is just not on par with other R&B/ boy band front men. I'd probably have a slightly differnet opinion about him if he was always a solo artist.

I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired!
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Reply #48 posted 06/17/15 5:54pm

Adisa

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And I think the blogger intentionally left off people like Janet, T-Boz etc. because that's like including dogs and cats on the 10 list of house pets: tell us something we dont know.

I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired!
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Reply #49 posted 06/17/15 11:55pm

lrn36

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purplethunder3121 said:

RJOrion said:

Macy Gray is a horrible singer too... but i never heard anyone "swear that she can sing", so she doesnt qualify

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Reply #50 posted 06/18/15 2:23pm

SeventeenDayze

Beyonce can't sing, she screams....can't stand it.

Trolls be gone!
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Reply #51 posted 06/21/15 7:54am

midnightmover

SoulAlive said:

rolleyes you're missing the whole point of this article.First of all,the focus is on R&B singers and secondly,it's a list of singers that people swear can sing.Nobody walks around saying that Madonna is another Aretha or Patti nuts Even her hardcore fans don't hype her up like that.

midnightmover said:


When I first read this thread title the first artist I thought of was Madonna. Pretty much everyone on this list can outsing her.

Her fans do swear she can sing. And she's got a lot of fans.

Maybe you're right though since no non-fans harbour any such illusions about her.

“The man who never looks into a newspaper is better informed than he who reads them, inasmuch as he who knows nothing is nearer to truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.”
- Thomas Jefferson
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Reply #52 posted 06/21/15 8:51am

starbelly

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SeventeenDayze said:

Beyonce can't sing, she screams....can't stand it.

I think she sounds much better singing in the lower tone but yeah she is definitely a screamer. It's hard to find a song where she's not screaming. lol

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Reply #53 posted 06/21/15 12:16pm

jaawwnn

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I mainly like vocalists, not singers. Good (possibly over exposed) quote by David Byrne -

'The better a singer's voice, the harder it is to believe what they're saying.'

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Reply #54 posted 06/21/15 1:59pm

Wolfie87

Jason Derulo. Heard him at the E3 press conference for Ubisoft. That was really bad.

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Reply #55 posted 06/25/15 12:46pm

SeventeenDayze

Wolfie87 said:

Jason Derulo. Heard him at the E3 press conference for Ubisoft. That was really bad.

Yeah he's a studio artist.

Trolls be gone!
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