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Thread started 05/13/15 1:25pm

SoulAlive

Article: 10 Non-Singing Ass Singers That People Swear Can Sing

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin

Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.

There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.

BURN!

Ahem.

1. John Legend

I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend

2. Keith Sweat

Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.

Speaking of that singer…

3. Carl Thomas

No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.

4. Slim from 112

From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly

Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.

5. Ameriie

This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.

6. Mary J. Blige

Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!

7. Alicia Keys

I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?

8. Ralph Tresvant

This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.

9. musiq aka The Husel

My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.

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Reply #1 posted 05/13/15 1:29pm

MidniteMagnet

avatar

Anyone with a throat can sing. I love all of their voices!

"Keep in mind that I'm an artist...and I'm sensitive about my shit."--E. Badu
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Reply #2 posted 05/13/15 1:34pm

SoulAlive

I don't know who this journalist is,but some of his comments are hilarious biggrin

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Reply #3 posted 05/13/15 1:35pm

SoulAlive

is it true that Musiq has become a rapper? confuse

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Reply #4 posted 05/13/15 2:44pm

BlackCat1985

avatar

This was funny. But John Legend, Mary, and Alicia can sing. They have their bad moments but overall they can sing.
BlackCat1985
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Reply #5 posted 05/13/15 6:47pm

TonyVanDam

Real talk, I find the article somewhat racist. What about non-singing ass white singers?!?

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Reply #6 posted 05/13/15 6:53pm

MusicAddict95

TonyVanDam said:

Real talk, I find the article somewhat racist. What about non-singing ass white singers?!?

.

That list would probably be too long, tbh. lol

.

Sorry, couldn't resist wink

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Reply #7 posted 05/13/15 7:00pm

starbelly

avatar

Alicia CAN sing when she's singing within her range. All that screeching and forcing herself to hit notes she can't is just.. confused I don't know why she does it.



I heard "Diary" on the radio the other day was reminded how good she can sound. Love that song.



Keith Sweat I agree with. He's just whiney lol

[Edited 5/13/15 19:01pm]

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Reply #8 posted 05/14/15 2:52am

mancabdriver

I absolutely love Amerie’s voice – not a vocal power house. But beautiful and sweet nevertheless.

Check out one of my favourites from her and Carl Thomas (who can also carry a tune)

If you want to discuss people who can’t sing – SAM SMITH MAKES MY EARS BLEED!!!!!!!

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Reply #9 posted 05/14/15 3:57am

MattyJam

avatar

John Legend has an amazing voice.

This guy is clearly deaf.

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Reply #10 posted 05/14/15 1:43pm

SoulAlive

Keith Sweat can sing....it's just that his voice can be so nasally and whiny at times lol I guess the women like it,though

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Reply #11 posted 05/14/15 1:58pm

SoulAlive

TonyVanDam said:

Real talk, I find the article somewhat racist. What about non-singing ass white singers?!?

I think this article is focusing strictly on R&B singers

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Reply #12 posted 05/14/15 2:28pm

SoulAlive

here's the blogger who wrote this....

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

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Reply #13 posted 05/14/15 4:14pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

lol

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #14 posted 05/14/15 7:46pm

daingermouz202
0

SoulAlive said:

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin




Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.


There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.


BURN!


Ahem.


1. John Legend


I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend


2. Keith Sweat


Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.


Speaking of that singer…


3. Carl Thomas


No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.


4. Slim from 112


From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly


Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.


5. Ameriie


This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.


6. Mary J. Blige


Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!


7. Alicia Keys


I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?


8. Ralph Tresvant


This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.


9. musiq aka The Husel


My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.


I wholeheartedly agree with you on everyone on your list with the exception of John Legend and Carl Thomas. But there are so many others The Weekend,Chris Brown,Miguel, Trey Songs, Bobby Brown. The list is vast.
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Reply #15 posted 05/14/15 8:46pm

Gunsnhalen

I do think Alicia & Mary J Have good voices. But i also get annoyed when they croak on their high notes. And Mary J oversings the shit out of most of her songs.

Pistols sounded like "Fuck off," wheras The Clash sounded like "Fuck Off, but here's why.."- Thedigitialgardener

All music is shit music and no music is real- gunsnhalen

Datdonkeydick- Asherfierce

Gary Hunts Album Isn't That Good- Soulalive
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Reply #16 posted 05/14/15 9:07pm

RJOrion

i agree with this list, except for Amerie and Ralph Tresvant (to a certain extent)...

i admit she doesnt have a strong voice, but she does well with what she has... Ralph Tresvant sounded pretty bad as a youth, but by the time "Sensitivty" and his solo LP came out, he had improved to where he could hold his own on a track with the more talented Johnny Gil.."Can You Stand The Rain"...Ricky Bell from New Edition is the one who cant sing worth shit...

Amerie is reminiscent of Karyn White..another beautiful woman with a thin voice, but the ability to successfully carry out a tune..

i always thought Mary J Blige was overrated and the early comparisons to Chaka and Aretha were nonsense...

Raphael Saadiq should be on that list too (and im a fan of his bass playing and songwriting)..

Keyshia Cole too...

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Reply #17 posted 05/14/15 9:13pm

RJOrion

Macy Gray is a horrible singer too... but i never heard anyone "swear that she can sing", so she doesnt qualify

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Reply #18 posted 05/14/15 10:01pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

RJOrion said:

Macy Gray is a horrible singer too... but i never heard anyone "swear that she can sing", so she doesnt qualify

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #19 posted 05/14/15 10:45pm

Hudson

avatar

Weren't there supposed to be 10?

I don't want to get eaten alive
'cause you're so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't want to get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I don't ever want to be
Eaten alive
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Reply #20 posted 05/14/15 11:43pm

SoulAlive

Hudson said:

Weren't there supposed to be 10?

oops,don't know how I missed it lol

10. TOTAL

Kima, Keisha, and Pam can’t sing. See what I did there?

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Reply #21 posted 05/15/15 4:44am

Hudson

avatar

I've only heard Kissing You by Total and I agree.

[Edited 5/15/15 4:47am]

I don't want to get eaten alive
'cause you're so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't want to get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I don't ever want to be
Eaten alive
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Reply #22 posted 05/15/15 4:51am

Hudson

avatar

T-Boz should be here too.

I don't want to get eaten alive
'cause you're so dangerous
No more hearts I can trust, you see
I don't want to get eaten alive
To be eaten alive
Eaten alive
I don't ever want to be
Eaten alive
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Reply #23 posted 05/15/15 8:53am

Cinny

avatar

I LOVE (or have, at one time or another, loved) all of their voices!

And I do not care for Glee, Pitch Perfect, Pentatonix, American Idol, ... who all apparently are great singers?

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Reply #24 posted 05/27/15 12:27am

BobGeorge909

avatar

SoulAlive said:

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin




Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.


There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.


BURN!


Ahem.


1. John Legend


I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend


2. Keith Sweat


Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.


Speaking of that singer…


3. Carl Thomas


No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.


4. Slim from 112


From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly


Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.


5. Ameriie


This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.


6. Mary J. Blige


Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!


7. Alicia Keys


I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?


8. Ralph Tresvant


This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.


9. musiq aka The Husel


My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.


All these people sing better than janet jackson.
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Reply #25 posted 05/27/15 3:11am

Beautifulstarr
123

avatar

purplethunder3121 said:



RJOrion said:


Macy Gray is a horrible singer too... but i never heard anyone "swear that she can sing", so she doesnt qualify






What happened to her? I don't hear anything about her.
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Reply #26 posted 05/27/15 3:45am

mancabdriver

BobGeorge909 said:

SoulAlive said:

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin

Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.

There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.

BURN!

Ahem.

1. John Legend

I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend

2. Keith Sweat

Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.

Speaking of that singer…

3. Carl Thomas

No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.

4. Slim from 112

From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly

Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.

5. Ameriie

This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.

6. Mary J. Blige

Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!

7. Alicia Keys

I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?

8. Ralph Tresvant

This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.

9. musiq aka The Husel

My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.

All these people sing better than janet jackson.

You're obsessed by her. Must be a closet fan.

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Reply #27 posted 05/27/15 5:22am

BobGeorge909

avatar

mancabdriver said:



BobGeorge909 said:


SoulAlive said:

10 Non-Singing Ass Singer...ing » VSB biggrin




Last week, I dared various individuals to come and test me now in a battle regarding two somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta. As was expected, some people agreed with my points. Others called me names. Nanny nanny. Boo boo. Well in the midst of that discussion evolved a discussion of the lack of singing prowess of one of the leads from one of the somewhat-storied and not-really-fabled singing groups from Atlanta which gave rise to the phoenix of crappy R&B singers. Full disclosure: I’m a fan of crappy singers. I’m mostly a fan of effort. Because of that effort, there have been SEVERAL high profile singers that many folks SWEAR can sing. I’m a reasonable man so I know better. But despite them not really being able to sing very well they have still managed to have quite successful careers…at singing. God does indeed have a sense of humor.


There’s no judgement here; you are entitled to like who you like. This is how I’ve lived my life and if you look in my life you would see what I see. Sing that shit, Mary. Sing that shit. So here is a list (in no particular order) of singers that you and I both know can’t sing, who just so happen to put “singer/contractor” on their IRS forms at the beginning of the year, ya know, in those years when they’re actually paying their taxes.


BURN!


Ahem.


1. John Legend


I realize he is a Grammy-award and now Oscar-award winning artist. Clap for him. First, and I’ve never written about it with the fervor that I feel though I had every intention of doing so, “Glory” is trash. It’s absolute trash. But that trash is ONLY saved by John Legend’s crooning, non-singing ass which as you can imagine has given me agita. I won’t pretend that John Legend doesn’t have songs that I like because he does. I love “Green Light”. I also hated his voice on that song. John Legend sings like he’s got marbles in his mouth, but not like Michael McDonald. I guess they use different sized marbles. This is not a balls joke by the way. DEFLATEGATE BITCHES. Point is, John Legend sounds like crapola. One good note for John Legend, I did love the “Ordinary People” video because, domestic violence aside, he did illustrate -in slow motion mind you – the perfect way to slap a bitch. And by bitch, I mean anybody who brings you agita. Like John Legend. #slapjohnlegend


2. Keith Sweat


Keith Sweat may be the Patron Saint of bad R&B singers. Just like we screamed for ice cream, we all loved Keith Sweat. “Twisted” is a great song. Hell, his album I’ll Give All My Love To You was full of hits that I loved. You say no. I say yes. Girl, I’ll bet I can make you sweat. Now that I write that out, its a bit rapey. Real talk, older R&B and soul music was both very stalkerish AND rapey. Nevertheless, Keith Sweat is one non-singing ass negro. And lots of people love him and will tell you that he can sing. He. Can. Not. Like another artist on this list,I’ve gotten into a full scale argument with a friend of mine about whether or not he can sing. We’re still friends and all, but our relationship changed.


Speaking of that singer…


3. Carl Thomas


No.No.No.No. One winter night at the Times Square Applebee’s in NYC in February 2003, I formally met a beautiful woman that I’d known tangentially during our time in college. How did we formally meet? Somebody mentioned Carl Thomas and she started talking about how much she loves him. I said, “that nigga can’t sing.” She looked at me like I’d just slapped her mother. An argument ensued between she and I. That night was magic. She and I are great friends at this point. She still believes that Carl Thomas can sing. I still don’t. We still debate this point on occasoin. Summer Rain deez is usually how this conversation ends. To be fair, “I Wish” has long been one of my favorite Bad Boy songs.


4. Slim from 112


From last week’s post: “‘Round 112 way, we all know Slim is the lead – he’s the most prominent lead singer despite being the worst singer of the group.” #factsonly


Worst singer doesn’t really tell the story. For instance, saying that Nate is the worst singer in Boyz II Men is unfair. Everybody in Boyz II Men could sing and sing well but if you had to pick a “worst” he might be the pick. In the case of Slim, he’s not only the worst singer in 112, he also cannot sing. I don’t give a fuck what your mama who grew up listening to 112 thinks. Also, if your mother grew up listening to 112, get off the Internet do your homework. Now.


5. Ameriie


This one might baffle you because most reasonable people know that Amerie can’t sing. It’s kind of a given like police brutality and Apple dropping technology to replace the shit you just bought in six months. However, Amerie (her second “i” truly bothers me) has convinced people that she can sing forcing those people who have been convined – by Amerie – that she can sing to attempt to convince me that she can sing. Or at the very least, she’s not a bad singer. She is. She’s like the version of Mary J. Blige that can’t sing, eschewing sound-goodness for angst and passion.


6. Mary J. Blige


Wait, what? FIGHT ME BRO. You know Mary can’t sing. Now look, I love Mary J. Blige during her crack years. I haven’t purchased a Mary album post Share My Worldand I’m not entirely convinced she’s released an album since then. Sure, I’ve heard she did but whatevs. Point is. my love for Mary has come despite her lack of range. Or note delivery. I’ve always been surprised when folks like Mary (and Amerie) get live singing gigs, but not of their hits but of songs that folks who can actually SING usually perform. Like church songs. If Mary J. Blige comes to your church you might ask her to sing, not because she is a good singer and folks are about to be moved, but because its rude NOT to ask a person who has made a livelihood singing to sing a song. Nobody is clamoring for Mary acapellas. Speaking of acapella: PITCH PERFECT 2 BITCHES!


7. Alicia Keys


I probably don’t even have to say anything on this one. I think most people accept this to be true. Right?


8. Ralph Tresvant


This one hurts me a bit. I love New Edition. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, Ralph, and Johnny too were like my favorite group for years. Ralph Tresvant and Bobby shared lead vocals early on then when Bobby left to release arguably the greatest post-soul R&B album ever, Don’t Be Cruel, (I can argue this with ease), Ralph took the reins solo and……well. Look, I love Ralph. “Sensitivity” is also one of my favorite songs. I’m listening to it right now. Drake owes a debt of gratitude to Ralph. Ralph is not a good singer. I know women loved him. I get it. He had swag. He had grace. At the same damn time. But he’s the third best singer in the group behind Johnny and Bobby. And I might be able to argue that Ricky had a better voice than him. Also, this is “best voice” in a none of them can really sing that well (aside from Johnny Gill) so who is the best of the worst kind of thing. New Edition Forever #doe.


9. musiq aka The Husel


My man Musiq. I love Musiq. I really do. “Half Crazy”? My shit. The Soulstar album? Also my shit. “Merry Go Round”? My shit too. But have you heard “Love”? This is the song where he really goes for it vocally. He doesn’t really succeed. Also, he’s a rapper now, going by the name The Husel. For the life of me I cannot understand this. He’s a great songwriter. He’s not a good rapper. He’s a much better singer than rapper. Think about that.



All these people sing better than janet jackson.


You're obsessed by her. Must be a closet fan.


Nah....she cool...but faaaaar from obsessed. I dont know how u drew that conclusion. Lol. Can't sing a lick but pretty as hell. I made comments on a Janet thread...but they're not flattering.
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Reply #28 posted 05/27/15 6:18am

CynicKill

All credit was shot when he put John Legend at #1.

He can't sing everything, but he sure can sing.

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Reply #29 posted 05/28/15 8:23am

TD3

avatar

Mr. Legend career is a mystery to me, zero talent. confused (IMHO)

None of these people on this list would have been signed a record label in the 50's 60', 70's? Hell no. Put any of these people in front of an audience .... Apollo in New York, Regal, in Chicago, in Philly, or Memphis. The "singer" would have been thrown off the stage not booed off. Mary J, Blige, who's been in the game for a while, ol' girl still has a hard time singing on key. disbelief

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Forums > Music: Non-Prince > Article: 10 Non-Singing Ass Singers That People Swear Can Sing