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7 habits of highly annoying stans. (image heavy, not dialup friendly!) Habit #1 - Pick an Annoyingly Pretentious Artist Roster
There is an unspoken competition in stan wars, which measures which stan can name-drop the most eclectic and obscure music references. The object of the game is to name musical references so obscure that other stans have to go to Google. (What's the point of listening to music if you can't rub your tastes in other people's face to make yourself feel superior?) That's not to say that it's impossible to like different genres of music while enjoying modern pop music, but I have to call bullshit on some of you stans. It's not the fact that you can barely spell the names of the artists that you "stan" for, but one could argue that if you had a true appreciation for artists of different genres and generations then you would know that many talented artists have never received a Grammy, a #1 single or even a gold record. Yet despite your appreciation of "real artists", you spend large portions of your day arguing about the Scandinavian airplay stats of artists who were created in a record label meeting room. That doesn't mean you can't play along with everybody else. The key to pretending to have a diverse musical palate is variety. Your artist roster should contain the following: 1. Your ACTUAL Favorite If you are having a hard time coming up with a pretentious-ass roster, use the Stan Wars Pretentious-Ass Artist Roster Generator.
Habit #2 - You ARE Clive Davis
Stans are amazingly imaginative people. In no other culture can people who make $6.75 an hour at Checkers have such creative and elaborate ideas for multi-million dollar album budgets. Gone are the days when we shut the fuck up and just enjoyed the music. Now stans think they are exectuives, A&R, set designers, video directors, stylists, managers, songwriters, concert promoters, etc...
Habit #3 - Everybody is a legend and everything is epic or iconic.
Habit #4 - Ask a Nonobjective Person For An Objective Opinion.
Habit #5 - Jump! Jump!Stans are incredibly loyal beings who don't care about charts and trends. When they start liking an artist they are making a lifetime investment in the growth and artistic evolution of that artist and will remain loyal regardless of how many records that artist sells.
Stans are fickle and unloyal little cretins who will stan for anything with an Instagram account and would stab their grandmothers in the eyeball if it would get their fave a Top 5 single and a million VEVO views. When given the choice between artistic crediblitiy and stan wars bragging rights they will invaribly choose the bragging rights. Stan wars isn't about artistic integrity, it's about living through other people's success --- which is hard to do if your favorite artist isn't currently successful. So if you find that your favorite is fading or falling off don't be afraid to jump ship onto another fanbase. Worst case scenario, you can always create new Twitter and message board profiles --- it's not like anybody knows what you look like anyway.
Habit #6 - Worry About Shit That You Have No Control OverStans don't know how to stay out of grown folks' business. They do the absolute and utter utmost when it comes to things they can't control. They can tell you when to release your single, who should produce your album, what color to dye your eyebrows, what shoes to wear, where you should live, and who should father your kids, but when it comes to things they actually have control over, they are nowhere to be found.
Habit #7 - Brew Your Own TeaStans are nothing, if not imaginative. Give them the smallest bit of information and they can create elaborate and whimsical fairy tales--- and then get pissed when they don't come true.
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LMFAO! This is so true!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAS!" ROTF | |
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G.O.A.T. Thread. | |
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"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
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Commonly Confused Ideas•Popularity ≠ Impact • People laughing at your failures ≠ People being jealous of your success • Being able to name drop obscure musical artists ≠ Superiority to other stans. • 10 million Facebook Friends ≠ 10 million records sold Most commonly misused words in Stan Wars:• Talented Pistols sounded like "Fuck off," wheras The Clash sounded like "Fuck Off, but here's why.."- Thedigitialgardener
All music is shit music and no music is real- gunsnhalen Datdonkeydick- Asherfierce Gary Hunts Album Isn't That Good- Soulalive | |||||||||||||||||||||
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I don't even know what a stan is but I thought that was hilarious! | |
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I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |||||||||||||||||||||
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