Back in high school, before my laptop-toting, Internet-accessing days, M.I.A. was one of the first artists I discovered who wasn’t Top 40.
Before she gained popularity with “Paper Planes,” I drove around bumping her CDs and trying to look cool. I have fond memories associated with her music, and I can’t wait for her new album to drop this year.
When I found out that I was doing the Super Bowl Choir alongside the rest of IU’s a capella group Ladies First, I was reasonably excited.
Although I’m not the biggest Madonna fan, it was still a very glamorous proposition.
When I found out M.I.A. was confirmed to be on stage with Madge, however, I was more than a little starstruck.
The first time I saw her, she strode across the bustling field of Lucas Oil Stadium for rehearsal, completely alone.
She didn’t have a handler or a stylist or an assistant with her. She was simply M.I.A., dressed in Ikat-printed leggings and genuine combat boots.
Compared to the Chanel-bedecked Madonna and Nicki Minaj’s very fake butt, she seemed out of her element.
I was prepared to let it slide. M.I.A. is releasing a new album just like anyone else, I thought, and she could use the publicity.
I don’t want to be one of those fans who is suddenly bitter when the world starts expressing interest in my preferred artist.
But here’s the thing.
As a firsthand witness, I can confirm all the rumors about how celebrities are in real life.
They’re weirdos and divas, to say the least.
Madonna was obsessive-compulsive and egotistical; at one point I was moved to the side of the stage because I “look too much like her,” and because she “can’t stand to have other blondes onstage.”
This is a direct quote from her personal choreographers.
Nicki Minaj refused to walk down the hallways underneath the stadium if it meant passing by the choir, because she didn’t want to give out handshakes or high fives.
She would only pass us in a golf cart.
Cee Lo doesn’t go anywhere without a posse of at least eight people in tow.
At one point, members of LMFAO were taking naps on the artificial grass and literally snoring during rehearsal.
They’re an odd bunch.
I suppose I expected M.I.A. to be the cool one. She’s such a badass. I wanted her to be everything I expected and more in real life, just like everyone does with someone they admire.
When she showed up at rehearsal on time and didn’t need the help of five people to do every small task, I got my hopes up.
Nevertheless, I’ve realized that, love her as I may, M.I.A. is a celebrity just like the rest of them.
A more minor celebrity, perhaps, but a celebrity just the same.
Her behavior at the Super Bowl only served to emphasize that fact.
Her verse in Madonna’s performance included the words “I don’t give a shit,” at which point she flipped the bird to the entire stadium.
She can talk all she wants, but if she really didn’t give a shit, she wouldn’t have been on such a stale stage with Madonna in the first place.
If M.I.A. was really too cool for school, she wouldn’t be doing a dance with pom-poms and cheerleaders.
If she was really that nonchalant and disdainful, she wouldn’t have shown up.
She wouldn’t have even considered it.
Some people say giving America the finger was ballsy.
I think it was the opposite: It was a desperate cry for attention in a huge, attention-seeking performance.
M.I.A. was, in that moment, like the sulky teenager acting out because she’s secretly insecure.
Madonna and everyone on stage were arguably more famous than she and acting out obscenely was only a ploy to divert the attention back to her.
If there’s anything I learned from being around those celebrities almost daily for a week, it’s that attention is what fame is all about.
It takes a special sort of narcissist to believe you’re that important.
I still look forward to her new CD, and her latest video is incredible.
My admiration now, however, is clouded with doubt about her legitimacy.
When someone you admire for being an outsider turns out to be just as caught up in the fame as the insiders, it’s hard to take her seriously.
M.I.A.’s finger to the world wasn’t a “f*** you” moment. It was the opposite.
When she proudly stuck it in the air, she was saying that she does, in fact, give many shits.
It may be backward, but she’s a dealer in fantasy just like every other celebrity.
I guess I just used to believe in it.
— kelfritz@indiana.edu