Ghostface Killah's review on Drake's 'Take Care' album Ayo whattup yall...the Hands of Zeus aka Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka Cocaine Biceps... otherwise known as The Blog King n the Inventor of the Slap...is now officially back in the building namsayin. As summa yalls already kno...the god aint really no big fan of the ***** whose album Im bout to discuss nahmean. But Imma give this shit a unbiased real ass ***** persective yo. Imma ga'head n introduce the ***** now namsayin. Ayo...kinda like ya boy Big Ghost...son goes by many names b...Drizzy or Aubrey or jus Aubs...n the Artist Formerly Known as Wheelchair Jimmy nahmean. But yalls might know him as The Kitten Whisperer aka The Harvester of Pauses aka The Taio Cruz of Hip Hop aka Young Garnier Fructis the pre-*** baby aka Jennifer Aniston's favorite emcee....n the mutha****a most likely to have a gateway to Narnia in his closet aka The Michael Buble of Rap or that ***** witta beatin ****** for a heart that you be hearin on the radio sandwiched between Katy Perry n Lady Gaga joints all day aka Justin Biebers beard n the only ***** on earth capable of turnin sandpaper into moist towelettes wit the touch of his hands...the ****** nectar-garglin ***** who makes lambs look dangerous hisself.....otherwise known as the Human Electric Slide... OctobVariesOwn....Drake. Now I promise yall...I aint got no expectations or plans to hate on this ***** unless the shit jus so happens to be wack nahmean...Word is bond. Truth is...I aint really got nothin against son like that yo. Aight lets go...
Ayo **** this ***** b. First off...this ***** gotta stop wit this lonely mobster image he tryin to portray these days yo. This ***** said this shit was bout him feelin like he a king tho. Son said "I used to stare at this world through a glass window and, like, two to three years later, I become a king in that world. That's who's sitting on that cover..." They give this ***** a mutha****in goblet n a table for one witta candle n a bronze owl n now he runnin rap? ***** ya respect from ya peers is as deep as the success you got in the mainstream. Aint nobody in rap lookin up to you like that cos you dope. Your success is whats dope to these ****** son. King tho? **** outta here b.
1. Over My Dead Body - A forreal....this sounds like the soundtrack to some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants type shit son. I forget who the broad he got singin the hook on this mutha****a is...but i think its Renee Zellweger or some shit. I feel like Im inside a Barnes & Noble or a Starbucks b... This joint is more light in the ass than the fushigi gravity balls you see in those infomercials at 3 in the mornin son. But yo...how the first words that this ***** got the nerve to utter on this mutha****in album gon be "I think I killed errybody in the game last year man"? Pardon me son? Word? You mean the same year that Kanye dropped another classic album in...while yo overrated ass uhhh....DID NOT? That year b? You mean the year when ****** predicted you was gon do a milli the first week out n you did 450k instead...n then a few days later Eminem dropped n he did like 750k in HIS first week n kept YOU from gettin back to the top of the charts? The same year that Em n Jigga won all the Grammys YOU was spose to take home? THAT year son? Oh.
2. Shot For Me - I dont even know what to say b. Like forreal...after hearin this shit...I wouldnt be surprised if this ***** could pollinate a flower wit his ****in breath son. Im pretty sure that son gets up in the morning n plays his harp for his cats n then slides down the mutha****in banister in his satin man nightie n has a full glass of breast milk before he goes to the studio n hammers out some pooned out shit like this b. Sons talkin to a broad thru the whole song on some bitter shit n at one point the ***** even says "The way you walk...thats me. The way you talk...thats me. The way you got your hair up...did you forget? Thats me" Son... Thats you? Aight then... But the boy aint done yet yo...at the end of the joint he proposes a toast. This is how that shit go...
"May your neigbors respect you
Trouble neglect you, angels protect you
And Heaven accept you".
Ayo I gotta toast for you too Drake..."May you shut the **** up"
3. Headlines - Lets be real...lotta yall mutha****as dont wanna accept that this shit was a crime against heterosexuality...but thats cool. Yall feel like the human croissant did his thing on this shit. I respect that. But anyways...the god already had a few thoughts on this shit a few months ago namsayin. Yall can peep that shit rite HERE
4. Crew Love (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo I been startin to accept that maybe ALL these joints is gon be bitchmade son. Truth is I ****s wit The Weeknd tho b. The music on this shit aint that bad...but it aint really no kinda beat namsayin. But then here come Young Angel talmbout havin "soldiers" n ****** "who came up off the strip" for him n "come up off the hip" for him if he need em to. I mean......jus stop that shit son. ****** kno ya pedigree b. Like you wasnt the little ***** ridin ponies n doin cartwhels in the backyard livin that upperclass suburban life before you became a Canadian teen soap opera star n shit b. Now you the ***** tuckin napkins in ya shirt while you eat cos you "mobbin like that" n orderin hits on ****** who disrespect you...jus stop it Aubrey. Son said "I think I like who Im becoming..." Im sayin the boy Aubs is startin to feel hisself a little too much b. Anyways son...when I thinks of Crew Love I think bout Beanie Sigel movin J Cole's mentor out his way so he could body the **** outta a glorious ass beat while Jiggaman in his prime delivers a hook that sticks to ya ribs namsayin. Thats what Im gon always think of son...
5. Take Care - Is this shit house? This shits like some kinda African disco shit b. Nothin wrong witta ***** gettin his international on but sons spittin those cream-filled bars again. Ayo son actually dropped the words "tears all over the pillowcase" namsayin...like I aint even had to make that shit up b. But dont worry ma...Aubrey got his cape on again ...tellin the broads of the world exactly what yall spose to be thinkin n feelin n how "Somebody shouldve told you something...to save you". The moisture levels on this shit got clouds formin over my speakers b.
"Pushin me away so I give her space
dealin witta heart I didnt break
I be there for you, I will care for you
I keep thinkin you jus dont kno..."
6. Marvin's Room/Buried Alive [Interlude] (ft Kendrick Lamar) - Aka the "Player HATER'S Anthem". This ***** jus gon use bein drunk as a green light to talk to a broad while her man aint around n tell her that son aint shit. This is what little marshmallow ass mutha****as do tho. Word. Now clown ass ****** is gon try n justify this shit as son jus dealin wit real ***** emotions n shit...or like he aint afraid to jus be honest. Nah. **** ya real emotions b. Thats like sayin "oh son was jussa little tipsy off them 4 flirtinis he had n so he dropped dime on his mans who was violatin his parole but he was jus dealin wit some real ***** emotions..." Nah yo. **** THIS ***** b. But my dude Kendrick Lamar continuin his streak of rockin on other ****** high profile joints n stealin the whole spotlight from em by spittin the illest shit on the album. Problem is that the genius ***** that sequenced these joints tacked the mutha****in interlude onto the end of this bullshit ass song yo...so you gotta either sit thru this audio progesterone ey'time or fast forward thru the mutha****in lotion dispensatizing takin place jus to hear that mutha****a son. Im tellin you tho son....this ***** BEEN alignin hisself wit the ****** he most threatened by...the mutha****as he sees comin for a piece of HIS pie nahmean. Yall jus aint seein it. He wanna keep mutha****as like The Weeknd under his wing for a reason b. Theres a reason why son had J Coles ass openin for him (pause?) on tour. Theres a reason why son got Kendrick n ASAP Rocky openin for his ass on THIS tour b. These ****** might appreciate what son doin for em...but I see what the insecure shook ***** who be goin thru broads purses while they in the bathroom is doin son. Imma need somebody to edit Aubrey off this track for me tho...
7. Underground Kings - Imma speak on this speak on this song one time one time Awwwwh. The beat is kinda trill. Yeah the beat is kinda trill Awwwhhhhhhh. But ahh cant take how son raps...no not even a liiiitlebit. Not even a liiiiittlebit. Naw ahh don't really giiiiveashit. Nawwwwww...
Cos really ahh dont giveashit. They - keep - tellin - me that - ahh - jus - need - to - learn - to - giiiveashit. Maybe if you was in my shoes youd kno why ahh jus cant giiiiveashit. Ahh think its deliberate. Yeah ahh think its deliberate.
This song is too much homosex. Bwoy ahh aint into homosex. This ***** is so homosex....nothin against homosexuawwwwwwwls....But ah dont give a **** what boobie say. He - might - be - cool - wit - Bun - but - ***** - Aubrey - aint - no -U-G-K....
Nawwww.....cos ***** you be gay. Ah - think- that - the - whole - world - thinkin - you be into bootie play Ahh....***** ahh jus think this songiswack...I - wasted - 3 - whole - minutes - of - my - life - *****...I wannumback Ackhhh
8. We'll Be Fine - This shit got some bump to it. I was thinkin Young Angel might even try n lace this shit yo. This ***** jus lazy as **** now tho son. Say what you want bout this ****** inability to display masculine tendencies n shit par..but son use to kno how to rap kinda namsayin. The ***** aint exactly spittin those sewage bars he been slidin to Wayne...but son had a few Carter 4-worthy moments on this shit too yo. "I heard you got your ways...I never woulda known. She said "yer such a dog...I said yer such a bone".
Birdman gettin his handrub on all over the end of this shit too. Shit had ****** worried cos he sounded like he was bout to rap....instead the ***** jus did his best to paint this ***** witta gangster brush....."Toronto stand up for one of the realest ******...Drizzy wit the realest flow...y'kno? Toast to this gangsta shit fellas...." Word yo...jus look at this gangsta ass *****....
"And shout out to Toronto bitch Im Tony in my city"
9. Umso Umso Umso Umso Usmo Proud of You (ft Nicki Minaj) - I aint even mad at this beat son...but the shit this ***** be sayin yo...."I love it when your hair still wet cos you jus took a shower...runnin on a treadmill n only eating salad...sound so smart like you graduated college". I cant even stomach that shit b. Son always gotta be on some "Gurl you kno you look yo best when you jus gettin up in the morning n you got them creases on yo face from yo pillow n that crusty shit all in yo eyes cos thats the real you gurl awwwwwhhh" shit. That or he feedin broads that "you aint even kno how special you is cos other ****** dont be noticin it...but I do" shit. Ayo pardon me if you a female that happens to fall for this cornball shit...but most ****** DO be knowin bout these mutha****in covert broad tactics namsayin. This ***** tellin you what you wanna hear n throwin all the other ****** you talk to under the bus....n got you convinced that he actually feel that way ma. Son be preyin on the weak. The ***** jus gon parallel park his top down bitchmobile on the track n do nothin but wait for these low self esteem havin broads to come flyin across the hood of his shit n take that bait. But its whatever namsayin. Let this ***** get his false Beyonce female empowerment on. But that hook son. Ayo is this ***** still attached to a placenta sack b?
10. Lord Knows (ft Rick Ross) - Anybody remember the last time Just Blaze produced a wack joint now? This beat is some incredible shit my *****. Rozay does his thing too...n if I couldnt understand what the homie Young Playtex was sayin...I would say his shit was aight too. But listen to this ****** bars son.....
"So Im goin thru her phone if she go to the bathroom n her purse rite there...I dont trust these hoes at all"
"Thats why I walk around wit all this gold on...n every time I run into these ****** they want no problems"
"They take the greats from the past n compare us...I wonder if theyd ever survive in this era"
"I know of all the things that I hear they be pokin fun at...never the flow...they kno I run that"
"Im a descendant of either Marley or Hendrix"
"Im hearin all of the jokes...I kno they tryna push me...I kno that showin emotion dont ever mean Im *****"
"A lot of ****** came up off a style that I made up...but if all I hear is me ...then who should I be afraid of?".
But yo..I ****s wit this joint son. Real talk tho...I woulda ****ed wit it even if there was no vocals until the Bawse comes in n gets his ignorant on anyways. If somebody gets me a instrumental of this joint Imma jus play the shit outta that mutha****a too son. Matter fact Im lookin forward to hearin OTHER ****** body this shit namsayin (no...not you Papoose). Cos son gave this ***** one of the top 3 beats of the year nahmean. Plus Just Blaze beats is like jeggings son....they can make almost any bitch ass look good.
11. Cameras/Good Ones Go (Interlude) - That Jon B I hear son? Anyways this ***** jus gon get his Lil Tunechi froggy flow on now. At the end of the day this is jus some more of that "Here ***** hold my purse music" that son been specializin in for the last few years. But its almost like a cherub came n whispered in the ****** ear after he recorded this shit n told him "Son...this shit aint moist enough b...you need to come do a duet wit me now" for the interlude...
"Dont you go gettin married...dont you go get engaged
I know youre gettin older...dont have no time to waste
I shouldnt be much longer...but you shouldnt have to wait
Cant lose you..cant help it...Im sorry Im so selfish"
12. Doing it Wrong (ft Stevie Wonder) - This ***** jus took bitchassedness in hip hop to a whole new level on this one b. Like son jus discovered new frontiers in softness that aint nobody EVER explored my *****. I cant even believe what the **** this dude sayin yo.
"When a good thing goes bad its not the end of the world...its jus the end of a world that you had wit one girl"
No dignity whatsoever b. None. ZERO son. Not a single solitary snowflake of ****in decorum left in this *****. I tried to type out the mutha****in words to the hook n that delicate ass shit jus floated off the screen when I did it yo...so you jus gon have to listen to that shit yaself son. This ***** gotta orchard of pauses blossoming all over this mutha****a. If yall enjoy these audio ****** injections thats cool...but I cant **** wit this shit nahmean. I kno son is legedary as ****...but Stevie playin his harmonica over that shit at the end dont mean shit to me neither b. Might also be time for my dude to jus think bout lettin go of those braids already par. Those mutha****as start like 8 inches further back than they did in the 80s nahmean. No disrespect to the legend but Im jus sayin b...
13. The Real Her (ft Lil Wayne & Andre 3000) - Now its time for this ****** ode to savin strippers. Havin 3 Stacks on this joint dont make this shit any less unacceptable b. But whenever the citizens of Los Hopeless get tired of lettin ****** slip singles down the crack of they asses they jus flash that mutha****in ****** spotlight up on the clouds n wait for this ***** to slide down a rainbow witta cape on his back n a tote bag full of sweaters he jus finished crocheting to come save they asses son. The boy Drake is fightin on the front lines of the war for keepin broads from takin they clothes off for money b. This ***** saves more hoes before 9 am than most ****** gon save in they whole life namsayin.
14. HYFR [Hell Ya ****in Right] (ft Lil Wayne) - If this muffin-top havin ass ***** wasnt jus squirtin out another sonnet bout the same shit n talmbout textin a broad the whole time I woulda said son killed the first 40 seconds of this mutha****a. Anyways yo....I dont hate this shit. I mean...I dont really **** wit it like that neither...but I aint mad at it yo. Im sayin I dont see myself wantin to smack a ***** witta light post or nothin if he play this shit in front of me or nothin. Like I dont feel like I gotta slap a ***** into another realm of the universe n go seed his broad up if he accidentally lets this shit come thru the speakers namsayin. I aint gon necessarily throw a volcano at a ***** if he got this shit playin in his crib n I can hear the mutha****a nahmean. I mean...thats definitely some kinda improvement over the rest of this bullshit yo.
15. Look What You've Done - Im havin Sideline Story flashbacks b. This ***** nearly put me to sleep wit this shit yo...but this shit probably one of the better joints on this mutha****a still. Its like this ***** on a roll now wit back to back joints thats still kinda bitchmade but not as horrible as all the other bitchmade shit on this album nahmean. You could even say that if son jus did more bitchass shit like this instead of the other bitchass shit he do...he would be aight. This shit is so delicate that playin it out loud wit no headphones actually jus made my clothes softer b. But it was definitely a step in the slightly less bitchnigga direction for son.
16. Practice - The **** is this shit b? This ***** turned Back That Azz Up into a ballad? Thats like some shit only a rape ***** coulda imagined son. Anyways b...the message to this mutha****in joint is basically that all the other ****** that this broad done ****ed wit was jus practice for her...for when she would eventually meet Aubrey's beige ass n be able to show him what she done learned namsayin. Again yo...Im sayin...who says shit like that? Wack ass creepy rape type ****** is who b. ****** who hang out by the pool at night time n scare broads away...like this ***** rite here...
17. The Ride (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo my illegally downloaded version of this mutha****a aint come wit this track par.
18. The Motto (ft Lil Wayne) - So ****** is really still jerkin yo? Son...this shit jus makes me wanna hurt innocent creatures b. I might need to go punt my neighbor's dog across the ****in block jus to relieve my mutha****in tension after listenin to this bullshit rite here again son. This shit was like havin herpes in my ears b. You might only live once son...but apparently you can keep makin gay ass music forever if you wanna.
So thats the whole album son...or what Im gon refer to as that cascading waterfall of invisible ***** that sons fans call his music. Swear this ***** got the most forgiving fans on earth tho b. The ***** gets that exotic budgie tatted on his shoulder..."Nah chill...he jus doin him son". The ***** drops a million odes to savin broads..."Ayo chill...son jus tryna live par". The ***** starts rockin sweaters from 1983 Sears catalogs n shows up to awards shows wearin grandmother cardigans made from old sofas..."Nah chill...son jus stayin tru to hisself"...Im sayin b...the ***** could show up at a awards show wearin a unitard n ****** would still be like..."Jus let that ***** do him....he jus doin him son". Yall mutha****as should be ashamed of yallselves tho....for lettin it come to this shit in the first place namsayin. Yall LET this ****** get to the top like that. Im talkin to ****** who emcee too. Yall done allowed this ***** to come in the door...n now he done opened the floodgates to a million other soft ass mutha****as jus like him son. Ayo nobody disrespected Father MC n Candyman like that back in the day b. Them ****** was makin careers outta droppin soft ass shit too. Dudes aint try to crush they whole existence or nothin...but ****** aint exactly say "Ayo Father MC n Candyman yall ****** should be showin the rest of us mutha****as what direction to take Hip Hop in yo...". But I dont even blame Drake b. That ***** SHOULD be able to have his lane. Its all good son. I hate that ****** music n he definitely that corny ***** at the club who pops open a bottle of champagne n then sniffs the cork...but he allowed to follow his dreams b. But yall ****** put that mutha****a on a pedestal. Like I said b...I dont blame Aubrey tho. Drake is what happens when ya son is conceived during a period week namsayin. That ***** was jus conceived on the wrong end of a menstrual cycle yo. These ****** gon always exist bruh. But I aint no follower son. If I dont like some shit...I dont jus rock wit it cos thats what broads be listenin to... n cos I want broads to be feelin me. Thats like sprayin yaself wit perfume jus cos chicks be enjoyin that shit...Yall effeminate ass ****** smarten up. ****** always callin Drizzy homo tho. Im sayin yo...I dont think thats even the case b. N if it was...I aint judgin the ***** based on none of that yo. I mean...maybe son is kinda homo-esque. But either way par...this ****** masculinity been terminally ill for a hot minute now...that shits been on life support since Thank Me Later dropped b. But Im sure that mutha****a done kicked the bucket forreal wit this album son. If you ****** cop retail versions of this shit dont forget to take the cd in for a yearly pap smear b. Ayo **** this shit son. Aight peace.
By the way yo...Imma give this shit...
1 Zeus Slap outta 5 or 5 Drake Pinky Salutes outta 5
Take ya pick b. PRINCE: Always and Forever
MICHAEL JACKSON: Always and Forever
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