Michael Jackson's 'rabbi'


As a rabbi of over 30 years experience, I was both appalled and disappointed in the story by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach concerning his friendship with and impressions of Michael Jackson. In so many ways, Rabbi Boteach crossed over the line of propriety and professional ethics.

Rabbis along with other clergy, along with the practitioners of all the helping professions, are bound by definite rules of confidentiality. It is precisely this rule which enables us to assist people who depend upon us to preserve the sacred bond of trust. What we discuss or experience with people who seek our assistance are meant to be kept absolutely private.

There are no exceptions. In fact, physicians and lawyers who violate this trust lose their licenses to practice should their breach of confidence be discovered. Even when those that we have counseled or befriended are no longer living, the same rule applies.

It is only because of this assurance of total confidence that people feel they can be open with us. All of us in these professions also understand that there is no real difference between professional and personal connections. The things we learn or observe in our personal relations are just as sacrosanct.

I have had numerous experiences with well known people but I have never spoken and certainly would never write about these experiences for two reasons. First, it would violate the trust of these individuals who believed they could be open and candid with me. Second, it would severely curtail my ability to be of help to others since they would feel that I was not trustworthy.

When Rabbi Boteach spoke publicly and also wrote about his experiences with Michael Jackson, he did serious harm to all rabbis and other clergy as well. No doubt Rabbi Boteach felt he was advancing his own career and public profile as the "rabbi to the stars."

Perhaps he has, but at the expense of his own trustworthiness and also that of other rabbis. I also must wonder what kind of friend he really was for him now to exploit Mr. Jackson's tragic death with grandstanding.

Rabbi Boteach should have given more thought to the serious damage he was doing. As he must know, he also violated several of the sacred principles of our Jewish religion which specifically prohibit tale-bearing (even when the tales may be true), gossip, and "lashon ha-ra" (meaning evil speech).

Rabbi Michael Sternfield, Chicago Sinai Congregation