20. "If I was a sculptor
But then again, no"
--Elton John's 'Your Song'
(lyrics by Bernie Taupin)

Well, then stop bringing it up already! This line has been wasting our time for three decades.




19. "Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don't confuse
Them with mountains"
--Shakira's 'Whenever, Wherever'

The woman makes a lot of sense. And lucky that Sacagawea wasn't more buxom or Lewis and Clark might not have found the Pacific.




18. "I love you like
A fat kid loves cake"
--50 Cent's '21 Questions'

Gangsta, schmangsta -- brotha should write Hallmark cards.




17. "There's an insect
In your ear
If you scratch
It won't disappear"
--U2's 'Staring at the Sun'

It's sure hard to tell that U2 scrambled to finish their 'Pop' album. At least Bono didn't mention "driving rain."




16. "Relentless lust
Of rotting flesh
To thrash the tomb she lies
Heathen whore
Of Satan's wrath
I spit at your demise"
--Slayer's 'Necrophiliac'

Never mind 50 Cent, these guys should write Hallmark cards.




15. "Leaving was never my proud"
--R.E.M.'s 'Leaving New York'

Sorry, Michael, but we scoured all of our reference books, and "proud" just doesn't wash as a noun. Lions do live in prides, but we don't see the relevance.




14. "I ain't never seen
An ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee-pee go
'Doing-doing-doing'"
--Eminem's 'Ass Like That'

Undoubtedly poetic stuff, but do pee-pees really go "doing-doing-doing"?




13. "There were plants
And birds
And rocks
And things"
--America's 'Horse With No Name'

Like in New York, nouns are scarce in the desert, and apparently our poor soft rockers simply ran out of them. Too bad they didn't consult Michael Stipe: "There were plants and birds and rocks and prouds."




12. "Time is like a clock in my heart"
--Culture Club's 'Time (Clock of the Heart)'

Awesome analogy. Time is soooo like a clock, because, well, it's freakin' time!




11. "I wish it was Sunday
That's my fun day
My I-don't-have-to-run day"
--The Bangles' 'Manic Monday'
(lyrics by Prince)

We're cool with the easy rhymes of Monday to Sunday, and even Sunday to fun day, but "I-don't-have-to-run day"? No, now Prince is just messing with us.




10. "I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel"
--Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn'
(lyrics by Anne Preven)

Can you say filler line? Like, oh, we get it, this is how you feel -- because it's been so darn long since you told us how you were all out of faith.




09. "Now you're amazed
By the VIP posse
Steppin' so hard
Like a German Nazi"
--Vanilla Ice's 'Play That Funky Music'

Dude took the original song's "white boy" lyrics a little too literally. Good thing he specified German though, because those Austrian Nazis were way too light on their feet.




08. "My panty line shows
Got a run in my hose
My hair went flat
Man, I hate that"
--Shania Twain's 'Honey, I'm Home'

Horribly trite stuff ... but we do always enjoy the word "panty."




07. "I don't think that I've
got the stomach
To stomach calling
you today"
--Saves the Day's 'See You'

And we're betting that this clever emo fella doesn't have the eyes to eye you, the hands to handle you ... or even the mouth to mouth your name. Oh, the humanity!




06. "Your butt is mine"
--Michael Jackson's 'Bad'

The worst opening line in pop history. However, we hear it's huge in Dubai.




05. "But if this ever-changing
world in which we live in ..."
--Paul McCartney and Wings' 'Live and Let Die'

Dangerous combination: Sir Paul having so much money and prepositional phrases being so cheap. Any junior-high English teacher would take points off for everything after "world."




04. "Young, black and famous
With money hangin'
Out the anus"
--Puff Daddy and Mase's 'Can't Nobody Hold Me Down'

Sometimes the only things more crude than slang terms are their anatomically correct counterparts.




03. "I don't like cities
But I like New York
Other places
Make me feel like a dork"
--Madonna's 'I Love New York'

So, so true. Which is of course why Paris is so famously known as the City of Dorks.




02. "War is stupid
And people are stupid"
--Culture Club's 'War Song'

Boy George again, and this time he's illin' like Bob Dylan. We wrote a song just like this in seventh grade, but the next line was, "And your mom is stupid."




01. "Coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago"
--Sade's 'Smooth Operator'

Sade was born in Nigeria and grew up in London, but her biggest hit reveals that she's clearly not a smooth navigator.




http://www.spinner.com/20...ver-no-20/
[Edited 7/13/09 14:18pm]

Anything Madonna has written in the last ten years.

Hudson said:

I never noticed that!

2 examples I like to give

"She had the face of an angel
smiling with sin
The body of Venus
--with arms"

AC/DC Touch too Much. but was she completely white & made of stone?


"We'll live each day in peace
and hope that we will one day reach
the rest of the world
when they are ready to be teached"

Lenny Kravitz I Build This Garden. Lenny teached me how to read & rite!

01. "Coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago"
--Sade's 'Smooth Operator'

Sade was born in Nigeria and grew up in London, but her biggest hit reveals that she's clearly not a smooth navigator.


I think this line gets a bad rap because I alway see her really saying- Coast To Coast/ LA to Chicago.. Meaning these are 2 separate lines:

He's flys from coast to coast, [plus] he flys from LA to Chicago. It's just the ways it's sung that makes it sound wrong.
[Edited 7/13/09 21:38pm]

19 + 14 aren't so bad.

This article was post-Laffy Taffy era. Wonder why it ain't gets no mention

By FAR the worst lyrics I've ever heard (and that's saying something being an ardent Madonna fan) is the song "Life" by Des'ree:-

"I'm afraid of the dark,
'specially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,

Ooh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news"

Truly horrific!

DaveT said:

Beat me to it!

SURELY the worst lyric of all time?!

besides, what kind of stupid person goes walking round parks in the dark?!
[Edited 7/14/09 5:46am]

rocknrolldave said:

Aw, man...I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thinks this is the worst song ever, lyrically speaking. I thought it was a joke when I first heard this song on the radio!

DaveT said:

I've never heard that song but those are pathetic. Did she write those in 5 seconds?

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows, just what the facts is.
He ain't gonna let those two, escape justice.
He makes his living off of, the people's taxes.

WORST. SONG. EVER.

I'm surprised no one brought up "Let 'Em In" from Wings. My friend Pam just hates that song because of the overt simplicity to the lyrics.

Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door
Somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favor,
Open the door and let 'em in(repeat)
Sister Suzie, brother John,
Martin Luther, Phil And Don,
Brother Michael, Auntie Gin,
Open the door,let 'em in.
Sister Suzi, brother John,
Martin Luther, Phil and Don,
Uncle Ernie,Auntie Gin
open the door, let em in

It never gets much better from that.

Worst for me are Xtina's :

i never quite got these lyrics from 'Wanna be Startin Somthing'

You're A Vegetable, You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You, You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet, You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You, You're A Vegetable

why is he singing about vegetables?

From Alice Cooper's "School's Out":

Well we got no class
And we got no principles
And we got no innocence
We can't even think of a word that rhymes


From Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love?":

And only time will tell
If we stand the test of time


From Sisqo's "Thong Song":

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
Baby move your butt, butt, butt
I think I'll sing it again
She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
All night long
Let me see that thong


From John Melonhead's "Jack And Diane":

Suckin' on a chili dog
Outside the Tasty Freeze


From Lil John's "Get Low":

I done came to the club about 50 11 times
Now can I play with yo' panty line?


From Jessica Simpson's "I Think I'm In Love":

I don't know what's gotten into me
but I kinda think I know what it is


Good grief.

Hudson said:

no exclamation marks?

i love this line

IRON BUTTERFLY:

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey,
Don't you know that I love you?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Don't you know that I'll always be true?

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey,
Don't you know that I love you?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Don't you know that I'll always be true?

Oh, won't you come with me
And take my hand?

Oh, won't you come with me
We'll walk this land

Please take my hand!

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby,
Don't you know that I love you?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey,
Don't you know that I'll always be true?

Oh, won't you come with me
and take my hand?

Oh, won't you come with me
We'll walk this land

Please take my hand!

that double dutch bus song from way back in the day that still gets radio time every now and then:

izzy kizzay wizzay
Izzay Kizzay Wizzay is da double da dutch



or some shit.



Sisqo

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck,
body like what, what , what
all night long



or some shit
[Edited 7/22/09 10:54am]

cubic61052 said:

It should have been "In the Garden of Eden" but the singer was too drunk or high to get it out while recording the song.

b3xy said:

He's not.

shit

I talk to myself
Cuz there is no one to talk to


-Christopher Williams.

She's like the wind, through my trees


-Patrick Swayze

musicman said:

That's always the way I've understood it.

What about this one?

"There's a mountain and its mighty high
You cannot see the top, unless you fly"

My Humps

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you,

She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you,

She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.

(A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, a-ha) [x4]

She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

[Will.i.am]
So real [x17]




[Edited 7/23/09 5:24am]

NDRU said:

I always gave Lenny a pass on that. He's gettin fun and funky there.

jillybean said:

That's one of the GREATEST lines ever, LOL! How cool!

I also like in "Elected", if you listen as the song fades out, Cooper says something like, "New York, LA, Chicago - everybody's got problems. And frankly, I...don't...care".

LMAO.

cubic61052 said:

You know that was "In the Garden of Eden", right? Dude was stoned one day, and it came out "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" and they ran with it.

You Remind Me of Something" R Kelly

You remind me of something
I just can't think of what it is

[1] - You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it
Something like my sound, I wanna pump it
Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it
And something like my bank account
I wanna spend it, baby

It's something about your love that's got me going crazy
Baby, you know I want you real bad
And girl I really like your freaky style
How can I be down with you?
So get a little closer to my ride
I wanna get to know you lady
And hip me up on how to get inside you
Listen, pretty baby

[2] - I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it
Is all I wanna do for you baby
Girl, it's something kind of sexy
Goin' on about you babe
[repeat 1, 1]

Now I would like to take you on a ride tonight
Girl, you know we'll have so much fun
And give you everything your body needs
Satisfaction guaranteed
So pull up to my bumper and let the system sound
Girl, I bet cha' I can drive you crazy
And let me be the one to drop you off
Babe, listen to me
[rpt 2, 1, 1...1]

Don't be alone, don't be alone
I'm comin' through your door
Turn off the lights, turn off the lights, baby
It's something about this moment
[rpt 1, 1, 1...]