Have you found yourself at a loss to explain why your love of music is so important to potential mates you are just meeting who don't seem to see the value in it?

I guess this goes for any "interest" that is not commonly shared.

But even if we don't like the same music here in Music:Non-Prince, I can at least count on the fact that whatever it is you are listening to, it is very important to you.

This is no way related to: http://prince.org/msg/8/309990

I had just been chatting on a different site and had to actually explain why music was important to me.

Interest in music is a major qualifier for a potential mate for me. All of my adult relationships have been with people who are professional musicians or at least musically inclined, so it's difficult for me to adjust to someone who isn't avidly interested in music. Actually they usually don't make it beyond 2 or 3 dates. I need to be with someone who reacts like this



when we go see a good show, or hear somebody play a kickass solo, or hell, just throw on a good tune on our laptops...

Ottensen said:

Me too, otherwise it is quite difficult to explain how my time is occupied

It seems few of my friends really have a deep love of music. No one I know really buys CDs or even songs in iTunes. I get anxious if I don't have music going in the background. I also think being a musician gives me an even deeper appreciation and NEED for it around me all the time. Other musicians might feel the same. It's more than a connection when you're a musician; it's a source of nourishment in a whole different way. The same way a painter feels alive being around his medium; or any other example like that.

That's dealbreaker for me. My friends laugh about it, but it's something important to me. I can't be in the car with a date and she turns my Art of Noise or Stevie Wonder off to put on some Lil Wayne or Bow Wow


...yeah, I'm gonna need to you to get the fuck outta my ride, please

ernestsewell said:

I remember visiting my sis and her husband for 3 weeks on vacation; I can't tell you how absolutely mortified I was to have all that quiet around me. I think her husband played maybe one cd during that whole time and I thought I would go stir crazy

* If the "mate" here refers to friendships and not to someone you are supposed to be "mating with":

All my male friends that I'd spend time with have always been music enthusiasts. I usually find it quite off-putting if I have a conversation with grown up males and they have the musical tastes of teenagers. I seriously tend to feel even sort of sorry for them and feel like I cannot continue the conversation on the issue (for example, if they are naively boasting about the greatness of some mainstream heavy metal / rap -group). I'm more comfortable speaking to females who don't care for music too much, because they are seldom that interested in the more marginal end of music anyway and so on. Even without having such interests themselves, women tend to be more open-minded about it though. However, we are so surrounded by music in our daily lives that I tend to think having developed no knowledge of or proper interest in it is bordering on inexcusable.

* As for romantical relationships:

I can't realistically expect anyone to "be into" the type of music that I do myself (abstract industrial that is). I am always sort of wishing that they'd like to listen to funk / soul / jazz -type of stuff though, because that's what I am playing at home most of the time.

Cinnie said:

For the first time in maybe 16 years, I'm embarking on a relationship with someone who is not a music industry professional...we're talking total straight laced corporate dude...but he does at least have a great love for music, his head is almost like a classical music and brasilian jazz encylopedia, and praise the lawd, the boy studies and plays classical guitar .So thankfully there's enough there between us musically where no one feels out of their comfort zone. Either of us can burst into song at any moment or throw a concert on the tube,or just randomly show up with some concert tickets and either one of us is totally down with it

Anybody who looks at music as noise....nope, I take off running by the 2nd coffee date

I think I've figured out that this is a pre-requisite for me. Not just music. I've dated a few people in the last year that have almost completely different interests and standards when it comes to music, film, literature, television... and I found that I really missed having that perfect complement of tastes. It kind of became even more clear to me when Lotus Flow3r came out that they might even have to be a Prince fan.


But I hope I'm not THAT crazy.
[Edited 6/2/09 23:54pm]

I definitely could never date a music snob. I could be friends maybe, but it'd still be mighty depressing being around someone who can't find any happiness in music or dancing.

The minute someone calls me "obsessed" with music, my whole opinion of them changes. Lack of respect for someone's main interest if you ask me.

novabrkr said:

depends on what heavy metal or rap they are talking about

i have a new girlfriend who likes the Black Eyed Peas so, we do not really talk much about music

i never expect anyone to be into music as much as i am

Well, most random individuals whom I have met haven't listened to Drudkh or Suffocation. The reference there was to individuals who seriously speak about acts like Metallica, Within Temptation or Cradle Of Filth like they've discovered the nucleus of alternative music - I tend to lose interest if people start talking about some rather typical "alternative" band and somehow try to convey of it as an example of their own cultured taste. It's funny how often relatively well-educated 20-30-somethings like to bring up artists like Radiohead / Tori Amos / Björk / System Of A Down etc. in a conversation and expect everyone to agree on their greatness. Not that there's anything wrong about listening to such music, but it can get sometimes a bit awkward.

In such cases I'd much rather discuss straightforward pop music, like Madonna or something.

I wouldn't even want to date a woman who has a similar taste in music as I do. That would be just plain scary.

Funny thing is if I find a mate and they have a preference of music, we'll have to come to a compromise, I'll play some old school stuff for him and if they're into some other stuff, I can be open to like it especially if I like what's being played. I can't just dump them because they don't like Al Green.

I am definitely drawn to those who are into music as much as I am, and musicians. I've been called "strange", "obsessed", "groupie"...
My friend's wife even told me I'm still single because I don't "go after the right kind of man".
But the thing is, if we can't go to a show and groove together, or kick back, listen and discuss, I'm going to lose interest.
And please be open-minded. I like a healthy debate, but I can't take the "stuck in one genre" Brothas.

I was engaged to a guy whose family were jazz musicians. His sister was a Jill Scott/Erykah Badu/Rachelle Ferrell wannabe.
They thought that my being a Prince fan was "crass". They teased him because I took him to a Musicology concert (where acted like an ASS!).

I'm dating a musician now who is wonderful.

Yes I am a music snob But the person does not have to be. Music is my air and if someone was to take it away from me? it would not be pretty.

...

I dunno... here's the weird thing--My wife and I (11 yrs, so far) are extremely close and in sync with each other--except when it comes to Music. I mean, we like some of the same stuff-- 60's/70's/80's Pop/R&B/ Funk tunes, Earth Wind and Fire, Lewis Taylor, etc...

but most of my music she could take or leave. She's just not a big music Freak--but she recognizes that I am, and she let's me wallow in it,

I just thought it was weird , because I assumed before that any lasting relationship would have to be with someone who was just as big a music freak as I was....







...
[Edited 6/3/09 6:14am]

paligap said:

Just for numbers sake, I hope this can be true

bboy87 said:

I can relate. In the early nineties i would be in my car listening
to some funk and my girlfriend at the time would change my shit to
listen to christopher williams. I said heffer the next time you
change my shit you gonna get your ass out and walk.
Chistopher Williams.
Never liked that pretty muthafucka anyway.

phunkdaddy said:

Good one.....

phunkdaddy said:

at the both of you.

Unfortunately never met anyone that loves music as much as I do or the type that I do. Fighting over the radio is a regular occurrence in my car. Now we’ve agreed on whoever drives has control on the radio. A decision that has sometimes left me wanting to fling myself out the passenger seat and into oncoming traffic.

Problem is when I would like to go to a concert. Do you take them with you and watch them be bored out of their skull for 2+ hours?

Cinnie said:

I usually find someone else who I know will really enjoy the show and not just because I asked.

I've slept with very people who have the same musical taste as me. I'm more interested in the taste of their dick than the taste of their music. As for sharing musical taste, that's what the org's for.

vainandy said:

JackieBlue said:

It's regular for me, be it friends, family....

Some of my friends have good taste in music but some have taste that is just

my guy doesn't listen to music for religious reasons

and no one has appreciated my interest in Prince's music....

Cinnie said:

In my case, I just take her to stuff I know she'd appreciate-- But if I'm going to see somebody like, say, Fishbone, or Allan Holdsworth, I'm goin' by myself,







...
[Edited 6/8/09 8:03am]

Music is pretty important to me, and plays a big part in most of my favorite activites, so I really couldn't see myself dating someone who didn't have a similar appreciation for it.

We wouldn't have to love all the same artists I suppose, but I couldn't bear to spend time with someone who's going to constantly put down the stuff I like or only wants to listen to stuff that I'm not a fan of