daPrettyman said:

Right. Stevie was always doing SOMETHING. He blesses Lula Mae for it because he felt he would've went off the deep end had his mama not set him straight. Marvin's mother by comparison coddled Marvin until he died. She was scared of her husband too.

Timmy84 said:

but there's a difference between receiving spankies and slaps for being cheeky or living in fear of your father.

btw, this makes me fucking wonder when stevie's two new albums will be out. In 2015?

graecophilos said:

Well his father was more cruel anyways, that's besides what DaPrettyMan was talking about.

Timmy84 said:

Oh man, you both are shocking me today. Time to go to bed anyway...

graecophilos said:

Goodnight.

Timmy84 said:

Okay he looks just like his mom, nothing like his dad! I did't know Marvin Gaye was in deep debt when he was recording "Got to give it up" from bad investments? I read the only sound investement he made was in "Famous Amos cookies" at the time. I always believed Tammy Terrell and him were lovers. Now I am finding out they weren't just good friends. Her death was tragic, she was complaining of headaches, to find out she had a brain tumor. Tammy had 8 surgeries, lost her hair, eyesight, and down to 85 pounds and wheelchair confined! Marvin Gaye is describe himself as a tortured soul, and his behavior was erratic especially after she died, he was devastated! Marvin battled depression also, these stars have or had stormy lives and it ain't all peaches and cream, the way I used to think it was as a child growing up.

Wow...was aware of Marvin's abusive relationship w/his father, but never actually "saw" him, def, not what I expected...and the obvious effeminacy completely threw me....
[Edited 5/26/09 23:26pm]

daPrettyman said:

Yes, Michael, and Prince both turned out SO mentally sound...and both went on to be able to have productive adult relationships as well...Oh...right...

And please don't mention Stevie..he SUNG about it..obviously he felt he wasn't abused, to include it in a clever and cheerful limerick.

There is a difference between abuse and discipline. Just because many people grow up with abusive parents, and lead productive lives later, doesn't mean it was okay then, or will ever be okay, regardless of race or age.

No one, when mentioning abuse is talking about corporal punishment. Punching, stomping, and brutal beatings have nothing to do with CP.

It was common, as a history of slavery is common in the AA community. Brutal beatings were a part of the life of many slaves, and many parents, then and later, felt they were toughing their children for 'hard' lives ahead. They acted out their own histories, and handed down their own pain. None of this excuses the abusive relationships many adults of that era, and sadly, many adults today who came from that area, toward their own children today, had/have.

Wrong then, wrong now, wrong forever.
[Edited 5/26/09 23:37pm]
[Edited 5/26/09 23:38pm]
[Edited 5/26/09 23:39pm]

Chic35 said:

Yeah, Marvin had lots of issues. Personally, financially and mentally. From my understanding, he didn't his financial problem started long before he recorded "Got to Give It Up". He was using lots of drugs at the time as well. I think he was being forced to release a project when the "Live at the london Paladium" came out. I think Berry was pressuring him to come up with an original song and he went in and cut "Got To Give it Up". I think he was trying to get out of his marriage to Anna at the time and was f-ing Jan.

shorttrini said:

-----
You can't work something out with someone that beats the crap out of you.

laurarichardson said:

Well, you can try. My dad beat more than the crap out of me, yet I have learned to forgive him....Notice I did not say forget.

shorttrini said:

I got spankings also. I wasn't abused, but I did get spankings. Mine were because of my mouth and my laziness. Now that I'm older, I appreciate it.

My dad didn't really spank much. He was one of those fathers that worked the hell out of you as a punishment.

shorttrini said:

-----
You need to read

http://www.amazon.com/Div...820&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Mer...pd_sim_b_2

Marvin's dad was a monster and I really would like to see people see child abuse for what it is and stop sugar coating it.

daPrettyman said:

Mine did, both verbally and psychically. Most of this is due to him being an alcoholic. These weren't your typical whippings....Like I said, I have learned to forgive him why, cause if I don't then he will always have that power over me.

shorttrini said:

my, that's not nice to hear.

graecophilos said:

What? that I forgave him?

shorttrini said:

no, that he beat you!

has ths to do with blacks being discriminated and so they let it out on the children?

shorttrini said:

That's good to know you have overcome that. We all have issues growing up. Everybody's is different.

graecophilos said:

I wouldn't say that. It's about how people are taught. It's more about how to deal with your problems.

Bobby Womack says in his book, "Midnight Mover," that Marvin Gaye was a genius but he wanted to die like a hobo. Marvin also had a freaky side. 'He told me once about driving down Sunset Boulevard having sex with a hooker in the back of the car while his wife was at the wheel.' One time we were at the studio, Marvin said, 'When I go out I want to go like I came. With nothing.' A few weeks before he died in 1984, we had an album planned. His son Marvin III, was putting it together. When I turned up at the studio to record. Marvin's son was embarrassed. He told me, 'Marvin ain't going to make it tonight.' Towards the end of his life, he was walking around unshaven, in his pajamas with an overcoat on top. When he died, I knew he had problems with taxes so I found out where his second wife Janis lived. I called her up and told her what Marvin meant to me and then I went out to the beach where she lived and slipped her a couple of thousand bucks. I knew everything that Marvin had left undone would be on her.

graecophilos said:

Hey, it happens and I have no hell to put him in. I do believe in a higher power and whom or whatever that is, will deal with him. If I don't forgive, the anger that builds up will kill me and not him.

shorttrini said:

yeah, if it works for you, believe in it. wouldn't work for me, i'm all for revenge - in my lifetime.

graecophilos said:

You're young, also. The older you get, you will probably see things a bit differently.

daPrettyman said:

You're correct Prettyman. The older I got the more I learned to forgive him. But again I say, in no way have I forgotten what he did.

As the old saying goes, you can forgive but you can't ever forget.

I will be going to Florida next week, to visit my dad. It will be the first time that we have seen each other in 7 years. I have grown allot in those 7 years and he has too. Live is way to short to hold a grudge, so I don't hold one anymore. I think Marvin had let his go long before what happened that night. He was just protecting his mother as I have had to do in the past. That in and of itself, is a different situation and contains different feelings altogether.

shorttrini said:

Right.

Most parents are doing the best they can, and the way they were taught. Sometimes it is helpful to put yourself in their shoes. You might realize how young they were when they were raising you, or other challenges.

Cinnie said:

True...but after awhile, you need to asked yourself, "Is my behavior acceptable"? Just because your parents treated you that way, does not mean that you have your kids the same way.