[b]This girl has taken the world by storm. SHe has #1s, Jay-Z,Loreal,cell phones, and my God TAMPONS!!? This is what I just read. SHe's supposed to be coming out with her own tampons in 2009.

That's according to this website and Tina Lee Knowles. SUpposedly someone caught a recording of a conversation between Ciara and Mrs.Knowles. In it she confirms that there will be "Beyonce Tampons" coming out ina year or so.

Bepons

Why doesn't she just come out with Beyonce toilet paper? I'm sure it would be a big seller

fluid said:

Very long but hilarious.

I'm not sure if it is real but I read the headline about tampons. I don't know if this is even a real conversation. Didn't read it all and Mrs.Knowles is at apretty different angle than I thought .....if this is true. Poor Ashanti.
And Rihanna.....

I had to re-read this mess once more.


***

Tina Knowles: Hello. May I speak to Ciara?

Ciara: This is Ciara. Who is this?

Tina Knowles: Ciara this is Tina. You might not know who I am, but I'm the mother of the reason why your album isn't coming out.

Ciara: EXCUSE ME?

Tina Knowles: No need to excuse yourself sweetheart, we keepin' it nice and greasy up in this bitch...this is just straight girl talk. Woman-to-woman.

Ciara: Ok...

Tina Knowles: The reason I'm calling is because I'm throwing a party for Beyonce. It's to celebrate the success of her new album, and her new singles, the good reviews she getting for Cadillac Records, her other new movie, her upcoming world tour, the Spanish re-releases, the video anthology, and her new line of bedazzled tampons coming in 2009, and the fact that she's better than everybody at everything including but not limited to singing, dancing, acting, and kickboxing. I'm calling it the "She's The Shit" Party.

Ciara: I see...

Tina Knowles: I was calling to see if you would like to attend the party and I also wanted to try to get some ideas for the party. What kind of party did you throw for yourself when you were the shit?

Ciara: Um... Gee... I don't know.

Tina Knowles: Have you EVER been the shit?

Ciara: Ummm...probably...

Tina Knowles: When was your last hit single?

Ciara: Umm.. probably "Promise".

Tina Knowles:GIIIIIRL! That is my JAM! I like to sip some of that Grey Goose, put that song on, and slow wind! Fuck what you heard...Miss Tina can still make it roll like some 24s honey...but no... I meant on the Hot 100. Y'all don't count "Deja Vu" as a hit and it went #1 on the R&B charts. I'm not counting "Promise"... I meant on the Hot 100.

Ciara: Probably "Goodies"...

Tina Knowles: "Goodies"? How long ago was that?

Ciara: 2004. That was a long time ago. Gas was cheap. The economy was good. And Usher was unmarried and relevant.

Tina Knowles: Oh... How did you celebrate that?

Ciara: I was dating Bow Wow at the time so he took me to Dave and Busters and then we went home and permed each other's hair.

Tina Knowles: Oh. The reason I asked was because I've been lurking around the internet and at seems that your stans are under the impression that you are the shit. They keep going on message boards, and YouTube, and iTunes, being generally ignorant towards my daughter.

Ciara: Well Miss Tina, I have no control over what my fans say. And for your information Beyonce had nothing to do with my album getting pushed back. I'm a very creative artist and I need more time to come up with cutting-edge concepts.

Tina Knowles: Oh yea? Here's a cutting-edge concept for you... HOW ABOUT YOU COME UP WITH AN ALBUM RELEASE DATE YOU HO!

(HANGS UP ON CIARA)

(CALLS BACK 30 SECONDS LATER)

Tina Knowles: I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm cranky cause my sugar is low, but Plies is about to pick me up and take me to the Olive Garden. Miss Tina is about to have UNLIMITED Salad AND Breadsticks up in this bitch! I'm a big fan of yours and I don't think you're a ho. I thought those pictures you took earlier this year were very classy... I wish I could toot my thang up on the cover of VIBE spread my cheeks, and show all 3 of my holes like you did...

Ciara: Ummm...thanks Miss Tina.

Tina Knowles: Are you coming to the party?

Ciara: Yea I'll be there.

Tina Knowles: Alright, take care yourself, my little sweetpea.

(Hangs up, dials another number)

Although this shit is totally made up, it's typical southern gal MO: Cuss yo ass out, while sloppin' suga.

That's what makes it believable. Many people don't know that she and Beyonce are creole or what a creole is for that matter.

"bedazzled"

My friend SameDifference at KOP made this:

It ain't real. Some wise ass did that. Very clever I might add, he has nWo abilities. I can see one of us (especially Christopher) doing this.

bboy87 said:

I applaud whoever made that!

Beyonceitis is the shit!!! They also have a mock interview with Beyonce's dad about her condoms called Freakum's lmao

ABeautifulOne said:

Your sig.
[Edited 2/19/09 4:34am]