Exclusiva: Madonna Swears Off Homos

Long-time gay icon Madonna, has decided to resign as a gay-diva, sources revealed. Speculation started at this year's Jingle Ball in Philadelphia, where producer Timbaland leaked a not-quite-HQ snippet of their upcoming collaboration, 4 Minutes To Save The World, rumored to be the first single of her upcoming album. Reportedly, when the crowd heard the decidedly urban-driven, radio-friendly sound of the song, everyone wondered 'is Madonna going all Ted Haggard on us?' A confused local homosexual stated about the song: 'It's weird. It doesn't make me want to wear Diesel jeans and do alkyl-nitrate. I don't understand.'

Trying to obtain more info these rumors, we approached a close acquaintance of Madonna's. Here's what they had to say: "It's true. Madonna it's very disappointed with the gays. It's not like in the old days. Now, they're too busy starting families, adopting kids-- either in real life or vicariously through Angelina on TMZ; both ways equally exhausting, if you ask me. They don't pay attention to her anymore." According to this souce, originally Madge had reckoned her last album didn't do as expected because it wasn't gay enough.
And we're talking about an all disco-anthem CD featuring her in a fuchsia leotard humping a disco ball on the cover.] So she decided to take a more aggressive approach. "Her new album was going to be all homo-centric. Gay-themed versions of her classics." Tracks rumored to be included in this never-materialized album were: 'Dye Another Gay', 'Hung Wop', 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell Me', 'Open Your Arse', and 'Take A Bow... now!' However, she set the project aside when she realized the gay community had push her aside, to focus their attention on more transcendental issues like Marriage Rights, Defamation in the media and all that manmeat in 300.
The source claims that she had exhausted every gay-porn imagery available -from
cowboy to military themes- and was even considering dressing up as a college quarterback for her upcoming album cover, before finally deciding to give up on the fanbase that seemed to have forsaken her. That doesn't mean she hasn't broken a few hearts in the process. 'I want her to back to when you could see her in her videos, wearing the snuggest outfits, flexing her guns, and trying to blend in with people a third her age. That's what gay stands for!' stated a certain Idaho Senator who wished to remain anonymous.

So while some remain skeptical of her pursuit of the younger, straighter ones, we'll go ahead and trust Madonna's savvy commercial instincts on this. After all, it is this way that she has managed to stick around long enough for us to be able to watch her leak at 50.

Source: http://gueywatcher.blogsp...homos.html

MikeMatronik said:

well looks like the tired gap toothed tranny is lawng gawn

"Dye Another Gay","Don't Ask,Don't Tell Me","Open Your Arse"

could this be the cover of Madonna's new single?

I love comebacks!

Hilarious!!

Can't believe someone took the time to write that, even mockingly.

BOOOOO

I wish I could say that it was a funny written piece, but I can't

Hey Mike, Madonna isn't turning on her gay fans because of her upcoming new hip-hop driven album.

As a matter of fact, Madonna is going to extend her audience by adding gay/bisexual men & women within the hip-hop culture that are keeping it on the down low with that fake ass wannabe hard gangsta image.

TonyVanDam said:

I know mate!

I just found the article funny!

madonna is making this album for one of her biggest fans - 50 cent

I am starting to have doubts about her new album. Title alone makes me worry not to mention when she works with several producers for an album you get a mish mash like Music. AT least AI sounded congruent and cohesive.

TonyVanDam said:

do you really think the hiphop/urban fanbase is gonna embrace a 50 year old white woman with an occasional british accent? timbaland is way more pop now than he is hiphop

Madonna is respected by many, its not about age...so all the naysayers need to step back and take notes, Madonna is about pushing boundaries and being provocative. She's great at what she does, whether it be dancing or singing.
She's not the greatest, but she's definitely earned her stripes in music, which is why she'll be honored by the RNRHOF in the spring.

She's never lost touch with her gay audience, she's always released club mixes and dance tunes on her records, which has appealed to the gay audience abroad.

She didn't purposely decide to alienate the gay crowd (lmao), she's past the 90's Vogue/Truth or Dare era, its been well over!!!

Confessions was great for the gays!!!
So let her do something different this time around, like the direction she took on Bedtime stories but updated and even more slammin!

I'm looking forward to the collaborations with her and Tim, plus Kanye and Pharrell!

Madonna knows how to work it and thats what she does best, 49 or 29 years of age!
She's still a great performer!!!

SoulAlive said:

Why is she wearing Missy Elliot's old GLAD bag outfit from "I Can't Stand The Rain"?
Hey, it could be worse. "4 Minutes To Save The World" could have been a duet with Prince and used as a recruiting song for the JWs.
[Edited 1/28/08 16:12pm]

DetroitMusic said:

I agree!!!

DetroitMusic said:

the "essay" is a joke.

lowkey said:

But Timbo still gets radio play on urban stations.

BlaqueKnight said:

As if Missy's idea was ever original:

TonyVanDam said:

Zod was such an innovator. He was even narcissistic before Madonna. Remember http://www.youtube.com/wa...KDFop0aqYQ
"Oh god"
"Zod."

BlaqueKnight said:

OFF-TOPIC: Doomsday may had been the the first villain to "killed" Superman, but General Zod was THE first villain to call Superman out for a street fight. Classic!