Remake of classic suffers from Madonna's acting
By Paul Clinton
CNN



(CNN) -- Undoubtedly Guy Ritchie's version of Lina Wertmuller's 1974 Italian-language classic "Swept Away" will be compared ad nauseam to the original by high-minded pundits from coast to coast -- many of whom probably never saw the original.

But what's the point? Both Ritchie and his wife Madonna -- the star of the film -- have stated again and again that remaking the original, with all its class and political conflict and heavy violence and sex, was not their intention.

Thank goodness for that, because the new "Swept Away" has little in common with the previous film. In fact, the finished project is more akin to a mixture of Goldie Hawn's 1987 "Overboard" and Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew." Regarding the latter, I'm not talking about the 1967 Burton-Taylor movie version, but a small-town high school theatrical production.

Sneer and loathing Madonna plays Amber, a spoiled, rich rhymes-with-witch who's arrogant beyond the point of all reason. Her barely repressed rage hangs over her like a cheap perfume. In the screenplay by Ritchie, the character is hopelessly one-dimensional and has a one-note emotional range.

Of course, Madonna bangs away at that one note like a demented drummer. This film may not stop the debate raging over whether Mrs. Ritchie can or cannot act, but the number of people trying to defend her acting abilities is dwindling to a die-hard few.

The story begins with Amber and her wimpy, milquetoast -- but very wealthy -- husband Tony (Bruce Greenwood) boarding a yacht in the Mediterranean with a group of equally rich and equally bored friends. Amber takes an immediate loathing toward one of the crew, a fisherman named Giuseppe, played by Adriano Giannini. She proceeds to snap her fingers, her mouth, and any other handy weapon in his direction until he's on the verge of exploding.

At one point, the rest of the guests have taken a day trip in one of the yacht's small boats. Long after their departure, Amber decides to join them, and despite Giuseppe's warning about impending bad weather, they set out in another small boat. Surprise, surprise: A storm occurs, and they're washed up onto a deserted island.

Now the tables are turned. Giuseppe, the fisherman, is the one with the power. Amber is suddenly dependent upon him for food, water, shelter and survival itself. He's ready for revenge and wastes no time in seizing the opportunity to lord it over the spoiled, rich American. He forces her to call him master and wash his clothes by pounding them on rocks. (Madonna flaying Guiseppe's pants on a rock is almost worth the price of admission.) In return, he catches fish, and provides feed and shelter.

Now Amber goes through a transformation from an insufferable, self-involved monster to a warm, caring woman who is a cross between June Cleaver and Linda Lovelace. Of course, they fall in love and the question now becomes, what will happen when they return to civilization? Will her transformation last, or will she revert to type?

Does anyone actually care?

"Swept Away" isn't all terrible -- and it's not as awful as some of Madonna's more glaring atrocities, such as "Shanghai Surprise" (1986) and "The Next Best Thing" (2000). Ritchie's direction is clever, precise, inventive and quite effective. Giannini, whose father Giancarlo played the same role in the original film, is excellent. His proud fisherman, who stands his ground and stands for his principles, is both strong and endearing.

The locations are stunning and the cinematographer, Alex Barber, takes full advantage of the lush scenery. However, the one musical number -- there had to be one -- comes out of nowhere and returns quickly to the same place.

Madonna's die-hard fans will be pleased. This first major attempt at collaborating with her writer-director husband is neither a rousing success nor a blinding embarrassment. Still, it just sits there like a side dish no one ordered.

"Swept Away" opens in limited release Friday and will go wide in the coming weeks. It's rated R.



RollingStone Review
Guy Ritchie directs his wife -- that would be Madonna -- in a movie that casts her as a 24/7 ice-cold bitch who warms up only after a real man slaps, kicks and then sexually subjugates her: Kiss my feet. Suck my dick. Call me master. What's up with that? Let the marriage counselors weigh in. It's my job to deal with the movie, a remake of Lina Wertmuller's 1975 art-house hit Swept Away.
For starters, it blows. Madonna continues to mistake a knack for striking poses with the interpretive skill of a real actor. After a promising start in 1985's Desperately Seeking Susan, it's been pretty much turkeys: Shanghai Surprise, Who's That Girl, Body of Evidence, Dangerous Game, The Next Best Thing. And don't talk to me about Truth or Dare (she was playing herself) or her turn as a singing dictator in Evita (she was still playing herself).

In Swept Away, Madonna's Amber is the high-maintenance trophy wife of Tony (Bruce Greenwood), the tycoon who arranges a yacht trip from Greece to Italy for themselves and two other couples. For charity's sake, I won't smear the other actors by naming them -- they're barely onscreen long enough to register.

The focus is on Amber and Giuseppe (hunky Adriano Giannini), the crew's resident fisherman. Amber calls him Pee-Pee and sniffs at him like she's smelling a rotting seafood platter. When the two end up alone on a desert island (don't ask), the S&M games serve as foreplay to -- gasp! -- true love.

Wertmuller used the capitalist wife (Mariangela Melato) and the communist deckhand (Giancarlo Giannini, daddy to Adriano) to play a witty game of power politics. Ritchie, far comfier with the laddie action of Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, dumps the politics. What's left is a non-PC movie bereft of irony and burdened with such acts of desperation as Madonna, wearing Versace, lip-syncing to Della Reese's "Come On-a My House." You'll see nothing scarier in Red Dragon.

Giannini is the lucky one. This is his first English-language film, and his words are mostly unintelligible. Madonna recites her husband's lines loud and clear. Near the end, he saddles her with a long, punishing closeup in which Amber is meant to veer from hope to ruin. Madonna just looks like her voguing wires shorted out. Audiences are likely to be slack-jawed. Note to boat fans: No yacht was harmed during shooting. It's the movie that's the shipwreck.

PETER TRAVERS
(October 17, 2002)





horribly acted edit!!
[This message was edited Fri Oct 11 20:38:20 PDT 2002 by SkletonKee]

Thanks Kee. A neither good nor bad review. Just honest.

Pictue says it all and some of you guys call that bony woman hot. Ubelievable!!!

gman1966 said:

for the record..that was the picture used for the article...and i thought, "damn, she really *does* want to look like a twink."

SkletonKee said:

What's a twink?

gman1966 said:

skinny gay boys...mainly caucasian...

SkletonKee said:

Well my man. I would say that is a pretty accurate description.

TRON said:

u know..i was sorta suprised by the review with that glaring disclaimer...


i guess critics need to grap your attention...id rather they actually represent the content of the article though..

Yeah, the title of the article reminds me of the title of some of the posts here! Posts like "Wendy and Lisa are sooo much better than Prince" when the post really just says that they were merely valuable to his early music...

Anyway, it sounds like Madonna played herself in this movie-(a spoiled rich, bitch who's arrogant beyond all reason). Hey, they weren't my words!

'Swept Away' is a good 80's Diana Ross song (written by Daryl Hall)

I'm gonna go see this movie this weekend,but I'm not really expecting it to be any good.I find that,if I lower my expectations,Madonna just might surprise me

Somwhat surprisingly,Entertainment Weekly actually gave this film a good review.They even praised Madonna's acting!!

Davideye, don't waste your money on her. Wait until video, it will be out in no time.

kisscamille said:

I'm gonna go see it tomorrow,would you like to join me?

Madonna also has a cameo appearance in the "Die Another Day" film,which comes out on Novemeber 22.

Set in the aquamarine Mediterranean, ''Swept Away'' may be a fake art film, but Ritchie cuts down on the repetitive class-war shrillness of the original. He's made a movie that never pretends to be more than a guilty pleasure of soft-core kitsch, and Madonna and Giannini (son of Giancarlo, costar of the original) achieve a lively S&M chemistry. Wertmüller's film, like it or not, was one of the seminal pop fantasies of erotic incorrectness. In our own era, however, one of postfeminist consumer princesses and Maxim-ized alpha males, ''Swept Away'' now looks about as subversive as ''Last Tango in the Blue Lagoon.'' EW Grade: B-


this isnt a positive review...however, they did say this about her acting:



and thats not saying much either... looks at least half as relaxed then on stage? thats a positive statement?

see, once again...madonna famatics go to extremes trying to validate the lady...reading things that arent there..

this is as lukewarm a review as the above one...

Davideye, I can't make it to the movie with you, but perhaps we can get together for 8 Mile??

One more thing Davideye. My real name is Amber!!

i've seen the original version of this, and it's pretty cool.

i don't understand why ppl remake perfectly good films in the first place...

To this day I've never paid $ to see Madonna act. I plan to continue that tradition...

:Sick:

This film is chock-full of sado-masochistic B&D sex. You'd figger this flick was perfect for Madonna's tramp-slut image, but punkass whiteboy Ritchie couldn't stand the actual sight of his wife getting fucked by another (better?) man.
[This message was edited Fri Oct 11 15:12:20 PDT 2002 by PFunkjazz]

PFunkjazz said:

Right on Brother!!! That plain ass white girl get's on my last nerve...

gman1966 said:

Oooops-u off on the race thing-AGAIN??!!

---