RZR said:

OK, Your body is a wonderland, isn't that Dave Matthews?

laurarichardson said:

Stop being rude. That was uncalled for

Janfriend said:

You mean you didn't realize Laura was rude?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I do, now

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

No

Janfriend said:

Are you SURE!? I love that song!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

All of that goes against the song...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes, I'm sure (you have no idea how funny that are you sure? is to me)

That song is by this dipshit we're talking about

Janfriend said:

I carpooled with a Dave Matthews fanatic, who once told me Prince was boring and I could swear he used to play that. Well maybe he did and I just assumed it was Dave well maybe I might actually like his show!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

He's very good live. Going to check him out again myself next month. And he's surprisingly good with that guitar.

RZR said:

I love this song and Dave Matthews Band OMG lov'em.

Forgot to add that Gravity is a great song!!!

Janfriend said:[quote]

CalhounSq said:

Whatever Jan. You wanna dump the whole thing & chalk it up to opinions (which it most certainly is, but I thought we were having a discussion here) just b/c you don't wanna answer the questions being asked. That's cool, but they're fair questions

gemini13 said:

The entire Continuum album is really good imo

CalhounSq said:

I wasn't asked questions, just thrown accusations. If you call those questions, they most certainly are not fair. This thread has gone personal and it should never have. You're the one who wants some deep personal explanation for why a person perceives a song they way they do. Do you really think that's your right? You're reaching for something that is not there. Notice, I never asked you personal questions, especially when I already explained on the first page why I hate the song. Why is that not good enough for you? You're trying to turn this into somethng solely about me

Janfriend said:

no it doesn't :huh:

I'm sure, and not wanting to speak for Paisley, but there was probably a moment when having an alcoholic father affected her emotionally. She OVERCAME that and it made her stronger and picked a great husband. No one is saying that you can't overcome the absent parent and be a strong person.



I'm trying to get why saying a Father has a positive influence on girls is a bad thing when stats and studies will show this.

Jan, I think this is just a discussion based on your comments. You spoke personnally so Cal asked some follow up questions.

Positive male influences are NEED for girls to be balanced women.

know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
but she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change

And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Ooh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.



point out the negativity.

Janfriend said:

LAWD Jan! You WERE asked questions (fair ones) but whatever man... you put some notions out there, people responded, I asked questions. If you don't wanna answer them that's fine but I can most certainly ASK a question on a friggin' message board I don't know why you throw up smoke screens & try to deflect everything the minute you don't like what's being said - it's nobody's fault that we don't agree, it's nobody's fault that I see deeper issues @ hand & you don't - that's just the way it is on this one. I don't want you to feel attacked or anything but damn, we were all participating in this discussion & now you wanna point fingers & place blame & I responded to your comments most b/c they're the ones that stood out to me most - just over the top angry & negative, so I got curious. Are you too angry to understand that?? Also if you notice, I initially responded to both you & HereToRockYourWorld's comments together. So nobody was gunning for you, you just happened to be the one responding

Let's call a truce...

Now, how about we discuss the lyrics to "Father In You" in detail





.
[Edited 5/12/07 4:43am]

CalhounSq said:

no daddy issues

Rhondab said:

Rhondab said:

I never said a father doesn't have a positive influence. If that's what you got, then you misunderstood. I don't speak in code. I say what I mean



That's not how I see it



I take that as you saying no woman can ever be balanced with a father or "male influence." I guess all those women are doomed in your eyes



I already pointed out the negativity on the first 2 pages of this thread. I'm not going to keep repeating myself

CalhounSq said:

Why do you feel the need to analyze someone's opinion? Is that your expertise to say there just has to be something deeper behind my take on the song? Most of you are just taking the song on its surface and not really paying attention to what he's saying. No, I am not throwing up smoke screens, as you may think. Truth is, I was never angry at the song. My anger came from what some of you have been insinuating about me and yes, that makes me angry. When I first heard the song, I listened to it a few times, didn't like what he was saying, period. I have nothing positive to say about the song because I don't see anything positive about it at all

For the record, I never said fathers were not important. I said He also comes across as if to say men are the most important thing to a woman's mental health. Good mothers and fathers are equally important. Fathers are not more important and an absent parent doesn't mean the child will be lacking in anything in regards to how they interact with that missing gender. When I listed negative things (according to you) about what I won't go for or let a man do, that was to counter the notion that only a man can teach those things to a girl. If we as a society got rid of labeling what a man does and what a woman does and focued on what a human being does people wouldn't feel the need to place blame on an individual(in this song, a woman)'s problems or issues in a relationship. That's what he's bsically saying, that she had problems and they came from daddy. Everyone came on here and made sweeping generalizations that that is true almost always. I don't see that, not in my experience. I have seen good fathers with messed up sons and daughters doing things in relationships that are not healthy. I never made those mistakes they made in my relationships and yet, I'm the one without a father. I know there are many like me as well, but you never hear about that in case studies. You only hear about the negative and this songs perpetuates the negative.

If this song was written and performed by a young girl singing to mothers and saying her ex had mommy issues, men would be upset about that too, but we've brainwashed our women into thinking they are nothing without a man

Janfriend said:

I am a strong independant women indeed. I can still enjoy the song freely, I love his voice, and the way he plays acoustic guitar on that song. It does not make me wimpy or dependant on a man.

Janfriend said:[quote]

Rhondab said:

Jan, just as you said you say what you mean. I've been very clear in my comments. I didn't say a woman can't SURVIVE being fatherless but you discredit the very importance of fatherhood in the lives of girls. And what an ignorant conclusion to jump to when I've said nothing of the sort.

You need to go read a few studies and look around you. You can see what is happening in many communities because of the absence of men.

What the song is saying is that this DOES influence some women Jan. Some women do have father issues which then in turn influence their relationships so the song is truth to some ppl's experiences. This is a case of if it doesn't apply to you...keep it movin'. If this isn't your experience, ok, but it is some ppl's experience because I've counseled MANY women with daddy issues. This song is about THEM.

So it wasn't us making sweeping generalizations. We are just trying to give men props and recognizing that men do have something to do with a girls mental well-being and those who overcome, great for having someone there to walk them through it. My daughter doesn't have daddy issues NOW but she did when she was in elementary school.

I think if this song was praising the influence of good mothers, you would be silent on the issue.

Nothing wrong with fathers finally getting some props and someone stating that they do have an influence on their children.
[Edited 5/12/07 11:25am]

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Rhondab said:

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Rhondab said:

ladies, this is let it go.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Janfriend said:

-----
It is rude to express my opinion about the song and disagree with your statements. If you think this is rude you need to get off of an open message board.
Go back and read some of your own comments.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I didn't say that it did. I was saying your statement about your father and then making an excellent choice in a husband goes against the message of the song. I'm not trying to get personal, but I would assume having a father with the problem you said he had would make it difficult for him to be a "good father" to you. Hence, the song insinuating that not having a good father would cause you to not have a good relationship with a good man