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PrintableWow!! Considering most of my threads TANK after 4 posts, I feel redeemed!  | |
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CalhounSq said: Janfriend said: Unless John is a licensed therapist with the power to insert words in his songs that trigger your subconscious to filter out your daddy issues, I would say seek professional help My father wasn't in my life, but it did not effect me in a negative way. I didn't miss what I didn't have. Still don't. I don't fall for the okie doke. I don't look for "daddy" in my relationships, I don't have trust issues, I'm not a jealous person. I don't have statistics or anything like that, but I have seen more mothers fuck up their daughters than fathers. But really, John is saying where emotional freaks and he needs a reason for his assumption on why he, a man, was in a bad relationship: It was her fucked up daddy that fucked her up and inturn fucked up our relationship. She couldn't have possibly left me because I was fucked up, so I'm going to make a PSA to all the perfect men out there and tell them "Stop fucking up your daughters because then I will have to deal with that shit when I want to fuck them and leave without consequence." So had this song been written by a woman, would you still have a problem with it? Would she be in need of therapy for writing it? I guess I'm just curious under what circumstances the song could be written/sung & be okay. B/c you just seem angry about it overall, but especially b/c it's coming from a man... 
And if you don't mind sharing, what affect did your father's absence have on you? You say it's not negative, but what is it? Just curious... If the song was written and performed by a woman, I would be sickened. I wouldn't have been as angry. I admit it coming from a man is more of an insult to me, but I would also see a woman doing this as an act of treason The effect of my father's absence has more to do with not having a second parent in the home. Having one parent effected the emotional availabilty of that parent. Financially we were great, not so much emotionally. Every decision was made by one parent. I didn't have a different personality to talk to about or ask certain things. However, it would have been great to have two parents, whether man/woman or woman/woman. I don't have any male issues. I don't easily trust men, but I don't think a woman should. I won't date a "low-life" to give him a chance, because I don't think a woman should. I don't look for a man to validate my existence, because I don't think a woman should. I was raised by an independent woman and I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme. A man will never abuse me or have power over me | |
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Janfriend said: CalhounSq said: So had this song been written by a woman, would you still have a problem with it? Would she be in need of therapy for writing it? I guess I'm just curious under what circumstances the song could be written/sung & be okay. B/c you just seem angry about it overall, but especially b/c it's coming from a man...
And if you don't mind sharing, what affect did your father's absence have on you? You say it's not negative, but what is it? Just curious... If the song was written and performed by a woman, I would be sickened. I wouldn't have been as angry. I admit it coming from a man is more of an insult to me, but I would also see a woman doing this as an act of treason The effect of my father's absence has more to do with not having a second parent in the home. Having one parent effected the emotional availabilty of that parent. Financially we were great, not so much emotionally. Every decision was made by one parent. I didn't have a different personality to talk to about or ask certain things. However, it would have been great to have two parents, whether man/woman or woman/woman. I don't have any male issues. I don't easily trust men, but I don't think a woman should. I won't date a "low-life" to give him a chance, because I don't think a woman should. I don't look for a man to validate my existence, because I don't think a woman should. I was raised by an independent woman and I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme. A man will never abuse me or have power over me Well damn    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Janfriend said: CalhounSq said: So had this song been written by a woman, would you still have a problem with it? Would she be in need of therapy for writing it? I guess I'm just curious under what circumstances the song could be written/sung & be okay. B/c you just seem angry about it overall, but especially b/c it's coming from a man...
And if you don't mind sharing, what affect did your father's absence have on you? You say it's not negative, but what is it? Just curious... If the song was written and performed by a woman, I would be sickened. I wouldn't have been as angry. I admit it coming from a man is more of an insult to me, but I would also see a woman doing this as an act of treason The effect of my father's absence has more to do with not having a second parent in the home. Having one parent effected the emotional availabilty of that parent. Financially we were great, not so much emotionally. Every decision was made by one parent. I didn't have a different personality to talk to about or ask certain things. However, it would have been great to have two parents, whether man/woman or woman/woman. I don't have any male issues. I don't easily trust men, but I don't think a woman should. I won't date a "low-life" to give him a chance, because I don't think a woman should. I don't look for a man to validate my existence, because I don't think a woman should. I was raised by an independent woman and I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme. A man will never abuse me or have power over me After reading your comment, yeah you do have some male issues. "I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme ." Your independence shouldn't be to the extreme and what you've shared here is basically what the song speaks to. | |
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I've always liked this song for the lyrics and the music. Alot of what we get from our parents comes out in our relationships. Your partner may recognize it before you do and if you're in a good relationship you can learn and heal from it. The father/daughter dynamic often gets overshadowed by the father/son dynamic so I saw it as a message to fathers to consider the role they play in their daughters lives. Been gone for a minute, now I'm back with the jump off | |
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statuesqque said: Janfriend said: If the song was written and performed by a woman, I would be sickened. I wouldn't have been as angry. I admit it coming from a man is more of an insult to me, but I would also see a woman doing this as an act of treason The effect of my father's absence has more to do with not having a second parent in the home. Having one parent effected the emotional availabilty of that parent. Financially we were great, not so much emotionally. Every decision was made by one parent. I didn't have a different personality to talk to about or ask certain things. However, it would have been great to have two parents, whether man/woman or woman/woman. I don't have any male issues. I don't easily trust men, but I don't think a woman should. I won't date a "low-life" to give him a chance, because I don't think a woman should. I don't look for a man to validate my existence, because I don't think a woman should. I was raised by an independent woman and I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme. A man will never abuse me or have power over me After reading your comment, yeah you do have some male issues. "I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme ." Your independence shouldn't be to the extreme and what you've shared here is basically what the song speaks to.  I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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XxKristinaxX said: Anyone who is a john mayer fan should listen to "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room"...O.o wow!!
 he made me moist when he performed that in concert!! 
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I remember thinking that "Daughters" was the best song on the album before it was released as a single. It's a great song anyway, but part of my feeling for it because I can relate to it. THe first verse:
"I know a girl, she puts the curl inside of my world, She's just like a maze where all of the walls continually change, I've done all I can to stand on the step with my heart in my hand Then I started to see maybe it's got nothing to do with me..." I was in a relationship with someone like that. That verse describes this girl TO THE TEE! She was amazing. I never wrote more songs about someone in my life. At times I was the only person she wanted to be with, at others, she wouldn't even call me back. It used to trip me out, and then I went to visit her and her family and once I saw the kind of hot/cold relationship she had with her father, it all made sense. It didn't matter how many songs I wrote, how many words I said, how many miles I drove, it would always be the same. Like someone else said, a girl's relationship with her father is one of the most important factors in how her romantic relationships will pan out. Once the mental train tracks are laid, it's very hard to uproot them and build them towards somewhere else. The line "YOu are the god and the weight of her world." he's talking about a girl's father. He's talking TO the girl's father. That's why this is such a great song. It talks about something that EVERYBODY inherently knows whether they want to admit to it or not and does so in an intelligent way. YOu may not like the words John uses, but you can't deny that he knows what he's talking about. [Edited 5/10/07 7:45am] | |
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guitarslinger44 said: I remember thinking that "Daughters" was the best song on the album before it was released as a single. It's a great song anyway, but part of my feeling for it because I can relate to it. THe first verse:
"I know a girl, she puts the curl inside of my world, She's just like a maze where all of the walls continually change, I've done all I can to stand on the step with my heart in my hand Then I started to see maybe it's got nothing to do with me..." I was in a relationship with someone like that. That verse describes this girl TO THE TEE! She was amazing. I never wrote more songs about someone in my life. At times I was the only person she wanted to be with, at others, she wouldn't even call me back. It used to trip me out, and then I went to visit her and her family and once I saw the kind of hot/cold relationship she had with her father, it all made sense. It didn't matter how many songs I wrote, how many words I said, how many miles I drove, it would always be the same. Like someone else said, a girl's relationship with her father is one of the most important factors in how her romantic relationships will pan out. Once the mental train tracks are laid, it's very hard to uproot them and build them towards somewhere else. That's why this is such a great song. It talks about something that EVERYBODY inherently knows whether they want to admit to it or not and does so in an intelligent way. YOu may not like the words John uses, but you can't deny that he knows what he's talking about. It's a very honest song, very real song. Been gone for a minute, now I'm back with the jump off | |
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JustErin said: I know a chick that went to see him in concert and was scouted for him for sex.
I wonder if he thought of that song and it's message while he was screwing her. so what was this chick like? obviously he sent his people to look for qualities x, y , & z personally I think it rocks  | |
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abigail05 said: JustErin said: I know a chick that went to see him in concert and was scouted for him for sex.
I wonder if he thought of that song and it's message while he was screwing her. so what was this chick like? obviously he sent his people to look for qualities x, y , & z personally I think it rocks Maybe I am too old but, I think sleeping with a musician would give me the coodies, among other things! | |
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statuesqque said: Janfriend said: If the song was written and performed by a woman, I would be sickened. I wouldn't have been as angry. I admit it coming from a man is more of an insult to me, but I would also see a woman doing this as an act of treason The effect of my father's absence has more to do with not having a second parent in the home. Having one parent effected the emotional availabilty of that parent. Financially we were great, not so much emotionally. Every decision was made by one parent. I didn't have a different personality to talk to about or ask certain things. However, it would have been great to have two parents, whether man/woman or woman/woman. I don't have any male issues. I don't easily trust men, but I don't think a woman should. I won't date a "low-life" to give him a chance, because I don't think a woman should. I don't look for a man to validate my existence, because I don't think a woman should. I was raised by an independent woman and I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme. A man will never abuse me or have power over me After reading your comment, yeah you do have some male issues. "I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme ." Your independence shouldn't be to the extreme and what you've shared here is basically what the song speaks to. Are you putting a cap on a woman's independence???? What's your definition of extreme? You obviously see it as a bad thing. Maybe you feel women should be co-dependent. Maybe you're co-dependent. How can a woman's independence mean she has male issue???? | |
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Janfriend said: statuesqque said: After reading your comment, yeah you do have some male issues. "I am even more independent than she is, to the extreme ." Your independence shouldn't be to the extreme and what you've shared here is basically what the song speaks to. Are you putting a cap on a woman's independence???? What's your definition of extreme? You obviously see it as a bad thing. Maybe you feel women should be co-dependent. Maybe you're co-dependent. How can a woman's independence mean she has male issue???? Actually no, I'm not... I'm about as independent as they come. As for the definition of extreme you'd have to tell us, it's your comment. | |
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statuesqque said: Janfriend said: Are you putting a cap on a woman's independence???? What's your definition of extreme? You obviously see it as a bad thing. Maybe you feel women should be co-dependent. Maybe you're co-dependent. How can a woman's independence mean she has male issues???? Actually no, I'm not... I'm about as independent as they come. As for the definition of extreme you'd have to tell us, it's your comment. You're the one who said it shouldn't be to the extreme so obviosuly you are the one that sees it as a negative, I don't. You still never explained why someone shouldn't be to the extreme in their independence nor did you explain why someone who is independent has male issues. What are you contributing here? | |
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Janfriend said: statuesqque said: Actually no, I'm not... I'm about as independent as they come. As for the definition of extreme you'd have to tell us, it's your comment. You're the one who said it shouldn't be to the extreme so obviosuly you are the one that sees it as a negative, I don't. You still never explained why someone shouldn't be to the extreme in their independence nor did you explain why someone who is independent has male issues. What are you contributing here? 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. | |
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Rhondab said: 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. 
case closed 
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Rhondab said: Janfriend said: You're the one who said it shouldn't be to the extreme so obviosuly you are the one that sees it as a negative, I don't. You still never explained why someone shouldn't be to the extreme in their independence nor did you explain why someone who is independent has male issues. What are you contributing here? 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. co-sign  I'm done | |
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Rhondab said: Janfriend said: You're the one who said it shouldn't be to the extreme so obviosuly you are the one that sees it as a negative, I don't. You still never explained why someone shouldn't be to the extreme in their independence nor did you explain why someone who is independent has male issues. What are you contributing here? 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. I disagree. How much does a girl need a father if he is a crappy father? It it better to have no father than a shitty one. No one should be teaching a girl how to be loved and treated by male because no one should be assuming that girl is straight. Instead a young person (male or female) should be taught how to be loved, treated, and respected by anyone. They should be taught self-dignity and self-respect. They should also be taught how to treat someone with dignity and respect. They should be taught how to take care of themselves. There's nothing unique about that, because someone has a penis. I know plenty of good fathers who haven't a clue on how to guide their daughters through dating & relationships. It's a slap in the face to say a single mother cannot do those things. Maybe that mother doesn't pay enough attention to her male friends. Maybe that mother doesn't read enough developmental psychology books. A successful and healthy relationship is made of of two people complimenting each other, not depending on each other. Extreme happiness or extreme talent aren't bad things. Extreme is not always bad. No one here, as of yet, has explained how extreme independence is a bad thing You thought the song had a good message. I thought the song sent a shitty one. He wasn't cherishing anyone in that | |
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Janfriend said: Rhondab said: 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. I disagree. How much does a girl need a father if he is a crappy father? WHO SAID THAT?? It's as if you're saying a guy can't make a positive contribution to a girl's life because he's a man 
It it better to have no father than a shitty one. No one should be teaching a girl how to be loved and treated by male because no one should be assuming that girl is straight.
OMG Jan, again you're reading SO MUCH into it! What about the girls who ARE straight? Is it WRONG for them to learn that?? Come on... 
By that argument should a gay man rebuke the love of his mother b/c he don't need that shit?? That's just goofy...
Instead a young person (male or female) should be taught how to be loved, treated, and respected by anyone. They should be taught self-dignity and self-respect. They should also be taught how to treat someone with dignity and respect. They should be taught how to take care of themselves.
All true
There's nothing unique about that, because someone has a penis. I know plenty of good fathers who haven't a clue on how to guide their daughters through dating & relationships. It's a slap in the face to say a single mother cannot do those things. Maybe that mother doesn't pay enough attention to her male friends. Maybe that mother doesn't read enough developmental psychology books.
Again why does it have to be a "slap in the face"? Why is it that if you're for one you're automatically against the other?? This song isn't putting down single mothers, it's asking fathers to stand up & take excellent care of their daughters - what could be wrong w/ that??
A successful and healthy relationship is made of of two people complimenting each other, not depending on each other. Extreme happiness or extreme talent aren't bad things. Extreme is not always bad. No one here, as of yet, has explained how extreme independence is a bad thing
Well fuck, when it makes you this angry about something that really is pretty positive, that shit might be problematic!
. [Edited 5/10/07 20:01pm] I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Rhondab said: Janfriend said: You're the one who said it shouldn't be to the extreme so obviosuly you are the one that sees it as a negative, I don't. You still never explained why someone shouldn't be to the extreme in their independence nor did you explain why someone who is independent has male issues. What are you contributing here? 1) some of ya'll are going too far with the message in the song. 2) When in a relationship, a SUCCESSFUL relationship, there is some dependency. Its natural when its balanced and healthy dependency. Co-dependency is another psychosis altogether. There isn't too many "extreme" anything that's good for you. 3)girls do need FATHERS and not just two parents. FATHERS teach girls how to be loved by a male and how to be treated by a male. Being a single mother of a daughter there is only so much I can talk to her about men. I don't have a penis. I don't have experiences as a man with dating, puberty, etc. ANY woman can only teach a girl (woman) so much about men and any woman who thinks she can is fooling herself AND probably has issues with men. I'm all for pro-womanhood but I do understand the importance of a Good father in the life of a girl. This is why you have so many teenage girls looking for the dads in adult men. I've also thought the song had a good message. Women have forgotten what its like for a man to hold them up, to cherish and respect them. Personally, cherish me, care for me and love me. Awesome post I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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CalhounSq said: WHO SAID THAT?? It's as if you're saying a guy can't make a positive contribution to a girl's life because he's a man Just a rebuttal to the post above mine that stated a woman alone could never be good enough to teach a girl about men OMG Jan, again you're reading SO MUCH into it! What about the girls who ARE straight? Is it WRONG for them to learn that?? Come on...
Again why does it have to be a "slap in the face"? Why is it that if you're for one you're automatically against the other?? This song isn't putting down single mothers, it's asking fathers to stand up & take excellent care of their daughters - what could be wrong w/ that??
Really all just rebuttals. The biggest issue with that song is his need to place blame away from him for a failed relationship Well fuck, when it makes you this angry about something that really is pretty positive, that shit might be problematic!
This is what I love about being an independent-thinking individual and not a member of The Borg. I do not see the song as positive in any way. I see it as an insult and insults usually make people angry Right now, however, I am just vigorously enthusiastic in my postion on this, not angry  [Edited 5/10/07 20:11pm] | |
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Well, I like the song  "What kind of fuck ending is that?" | |
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John Mayer - Stop This Train
makes me so sad, but its one of the most beautiful songs to come about in a long ass time for me.. so fucking good | |
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ElCapitan said:
Well, I like the song Me too! I didn't know it would start a war  | |
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PaisleyPark5083 said: ElCapitan said:
Well, I like the song Me too! I didn't know it would start a war Oh please, this is hardly a war It's a 1/2 way decent conversation, we don't get enough of those around here 
While I don't agree w/ the viewpoint that the song is sexist & demeaning, it's interesting to hear other takes on it. Especially when I believe that a woman's relationship with her father (or lack of) can most definitely GIVE her an issue or two yet they don't see it at all (in themselves) - that shit is downright fascinating I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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CalhounSq said: PaisleyPark5083 said: Me too! I didn't know it would start a war Oh please, this is hardly a war It's a 1/2 way decent conversation, we don't get enough of those around here
While I don't agree w/ the viewpoint that the song is sexist & demeaning, it's interesting to hear other takes on it. Especially when I believe that a woman's relationship with her father (or lack of) can most definitely GIVE her an issue or two yet they don't see it at all (in themselves) - that shit is downright fascinating I have 3 daughters, 14, 10, and 4. I do not find the song at all offensive, I see it in the light I think it was meant to be, that a father treat their daughters with love and respect, and that they in turn will seek that out in the man they choose. just my humble opinion. | |
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CalhounSq said: PaisleyPark5083 said: Me too! I didn't know it would start a war Oh please, this is hardly a war It's a 1/2 way decent conversation, we don't get enough of those around here
While I don't agree w/ the viewpoint that the song is sexist & demeaning, it's interesting to hear other takes on it. Especially when I believe that a woman's relationship with her father (or lack of) can most definitely GIVE her an issue or two yet they don't see it at all (in themselves) - that shit is downright fascinating Oh Calhoun, I never said a woman's relationship with her father (good or bad) does not affect her, but I will say it doesn't always produce an "issue." Every situation is different. I personally don't like the tone of the song. I don't know if the last part was directed at me, but if so, I would like someone to tell exactly what issue they think I have with men because of my father? I've had nothing but healthy relationships with me, so  [Edited 5/10/07 22:40pm] | |
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Janfriend said: CalhounSq said: Oh please, this is hardly a war It's a 1/2 way decent conversation, we don't get enough of those around here
While I don't agree w/ the viewpoint that the song is sexist & demeaning, it's interesting to hear other takes on it. Especially when I believe that a woman's relationship with her father (or lack of) can most definitely GIVE her an issue or two yet they don't see it at all (in themselves) - that shit is downright fascinating Oh Calhoun, I never said a woman's relationship with her father (good or bad) does not affect her, but I will say it doesn't always produce an "issue." Every situation is different. I personally don't like the tone of the song. I don't know if the last part was directed at me, but if so, I would like someone to tell exactly what issue they think I have with men because of my father? I've had nothing but healthy relationships with me, so
[Edited 5/10/07 22:40pm] I know, I should have just stated your name huh? Yes Jan, the last part is about you. Not to fall into the "angry woman" trap BUT you do sound like you have an angry streak about the whole "father" situation. It's like you can only see/talk about the fucked up "contributions" of fathers, how their absence makes zero difference when we all know it most definitely DOES make a difference. I dunno, you just seem to be taking issue w/ stuff the song isn't even implying & that's due to your own issues that you won't even admit to having. I mean, don't we all have issues of some sort with our parents?? Issues don't have to be "bad", they just ARE...
Of course that's just the way I see it, & my daddy "issues" are leading me to see the song as sweet, not vile. I need to go back & reread your posts to make sure BUT I have yet to see you say one thing about fatherhood that isn't negative.
Also, you say that Mayer "hides his hate of woman" through his lyrics - if you read through your posts, do you not sense any kind of anger/hate toward men on your part? B/c your lyrics are a lot more direct than Mayer's, so what are YOU hiding? Genuinely curious
. [Edited 5/10/07 23:01pm] [Edited 5/10/07 23:02pm] I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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CalhounSq said: Janfriend said: Oh Calhoun, I never said a woman's relationship with her father (good or bad) does not affect her, but I will say it doesn't always produce an "issue." Every situation is different. I personally don't like the tone of the song. I don't know if the last part was directed at me, but if so, I would like someone to tell exactly what issue they think I have with men because of my father? I've had nothing but healthy relationships with me, so
[Edited 5/10/07 22:40pm] I know, I should have just stated your name huh? Yes Jan, the last part is about you. Not to fall into the "angry woman" trap BUT you do sound like you have an angry streak about the whole "father" situation. It's like you can only see/talk about the fucked up "contributions" of fathers, how their absence makes zero difference when we all know it most definitely DOES make a difference. I dunno, you just seem to be taking issue w/ stuff the song isn't even implying & that's due to your own issues that you won't even admit to having. I mean, don't we all have issues of some sort with our parents?? Issues don't have to be "bad", they just ARE...Well, let's see. I am angry about the song. I don't like what it implies, to me. I interepret that song differently than you. Same as the both of us reading the same book and getting something completely different from it. Neither one of us know for sure what the song implies, but you can't tell me 100% for sure what the song isn't implying. You can only tell me what it implies, to you. I don't like anything that implies a father is more important than a mother or a man is more imporatnt than a woman in regards to a girl's mental health. Is this because I am a woman? Hell yeah. Is this because I didn't have daddy? Hell no.You may think I'm only talking about fucked up contributions of fathers, but I also mentioned fucked up mothers too. Keep in mind I am countering all the lyrics in THIS SONG. You also cannot say, for sure 100% that an absent father DOES make a difference in every girl's life. I am living proof of that and you're basically calling me a liar. I am not a liar. I'm surprised you can't get beyond the fact I don't have deep issues with men. Sure, we have issues with our parents. I have issues with my mom. She raised me. I have no issues with my dad. I don't know him, don't miss him, and don't give two shits about him. My mother finds this shocking, but it's the truth. God knows this. There's nothing to "admit" to. Of course that's just the way I see it, & my daddy "issues" are leading me to see the song as sweet, not vile.
I need to go back & reread your posts to make sure BUT I have yet to see you say one thing about fatherhood that isn't negative.
Also, you say that Mayer "hides his hate of woman" through his lyrics - if you read through your posts, do you not sense any kind of anger/hate toward men on your part? B/c your lyrics are a lot more direct than Mayer's, so what are YOU hiding? Genuinely curious
So now I'm hiding something? You can't accept that I think differently just because I am a different kind of person? Yes. I am very direct and I say what I mean. I can tell you I don't hate men, but I have never allowed myself to be manipulated, abused, used, coerced, convinced, or made a fool of by a man and I will bet money I never will. All of that without a father [Edited 5/10/07 23:31pm] | |
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Janfriend said: Well, let's see. I am angry about the song. I don't like what it implies, to me. I interepret that song differently than you. Same as the both of us reading the same book and getting something completely different from it. Neither one of us know for sure what the song implies, but you can't tell me 100% for sure what the song isn't implying. You can only tell me what it implies, to you. I don't like anything that implies a father is more important than a mother or a man is more imporatnt than a woman in regards to a girl's mental health. Is this because I am a woman? Hell yeah. Is this because I didn't have daddy? Hell no.You may think I'm only talking about fucked up contributions of fathers, but I also mentioned fucked up mothers too. Keep in mind I am countering all the lyrics in THIS SONG. You also cannot say, for sure 100% that an absent father DOES make a difference in every girl's life. I am living proof of that and you're basically calling me a liar. I am not a liar.
I'm not calling you a liar. I'm sure you believe you're living proof of that, so you're speaking the truth as you see it/feel it/live it. I think your position on all of this tells a different story that you may not be aware of, but that's just my opinion based on one song w/o actually knowing you...
I guess Mary J's song "Father In You" makes you downright BATTY, huh? 
I'm surprised you can't get beyond the fact I don't have deep issues with men. Sure, we have issues with our parents. I have issues with my mom. She raised me. I have no issues with my dad. I don't know him, don't miss him, and don't give two shits about him. My mother finds this shocking, but it's the truth. God knows this. There's nothing to "admit" to.
'kay... Of course that's just the way I see it, & my daddy "issues" are leading me to see the song as sweet, not vile.
I need to go back & reread your posts to make sure BUT I have yet to see you say one thing about fatherhood that isn't negative.
Also, you say that Mayer "hides his hate of woman" through his lyrics - if you read through your posts, do you not sense any kind of anger/hate toward men on your part? B/c your lyrics are a lot more direct than Mayer's, so what are YOU hiding? Genuinely curious
So now I'm hiding something? You can't accept that I think differently just because I am a different kind of person? Yes. I am very direct and I say what I mean. I can tell you I don't hate men, but I have never allowed myself to be manipulated, abused, used, coerced, convinced, or made a fool of by a man and I will bet money I never will. All of that without a father I only imply that you're hiding something b/c you say the writer is hiding his hate of women in his lyrics - what exactly makes you think he hates women? & is it fair for someone reading your statements to assume you hate men? & why do you follow up your "I don't hate men" statement w/ only negative descriptions of what men do - in other words, now that you've let it be known what a man WON'T do to you, do the positive things that a man can do for you/with you ever enter into the picture? THAT'S what's catching my eye Jan, that overwhelming sense of negativity in regards to men - I'm not even saying that you do hate them, but you're pretty much coming across that way (to me)... Also, why does the song make you ANGRY? I understand if you don't "agree" with it, but why ANGER?
. [Edited 5/11/07 4:56am] I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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